Reframing Forgiveness As Freedom

One of the decadent self-care practices I absolutely adore indulging in is a lush bubble bath (more specifically, a LUSH bubble bath) complete with a seriously awesome playlist of all my "five-star soothes" including a few hits from Abraham-Hicks.

Welp, the other night, this phrase made its way into the relaxation ritual: Forgiveness is giving up your attachment to whatever it is you're using as your justification for not feeling better. (Tweet it yourself!) Man, I love that so much. It puts me squarely in the driver's seat for my feelings — all of them — and that's the kind of empowerment I *know* has value to a creative career, with all its ups and downs.

We all have that someone (or someones) who planted something in us early on that could use that sort of freedom via forgiveness.

For me — as a young actor in her first on-camera class — it was the egomaniacal blowhard of an acting coach who SCREAMED at me through the booth mic in his TV-studio classroom, "STOP! BLINKING!"

I'll never forget it. He had the camera stay on me, in tight close-up, for what seemed like full minutes at the end of the scene to try and drive his point home about how distracting my excessive blinking was, long after my final line was delivered. All the while, he was screeching at me about how this was going to make me entirely uncastable, despite everything I had going for me.

Y'know the thing about stuff like that?

It gets stuck in your brain somewhere.

We all have something like this… some random — possibly not even constructively delivered — opinion (delivered as if it's FACT) about how we're doing anything (or how we look or how old we are or whatever) that ends up getting replayed on a loop until it becomes a belief.

And all we have to do to dislodge it (I know, this is easier said than done, but I'mma say it anyway) is forgive the son of a bitch who said it.

This is why I'm so damn passionate — in working allllllllllll the Self-Management for Actors tools — about tracking patterns. PATTERNS.

Because one single jaggoff telling us a THING about ourselves while we're in an emotionally vulnerable state can turn into a lifetime of believing there's something wrong with something we're doing or trying or even with who we are at our very core.

But giving up our attachment to that justification for not feeling better about whatever that THING is or was? OMG, that's true freedom. And from that place of freedom? Anything is possible!

What's the note given by a (possibly well-meaning, possibly not) someone in your life that somehow became a thing?

Forgive that note. Forgive that person. Forgive that thing it became. Most of all forgive yourself for all the time wasted believing that thing to the extent that it blocked your forward progress and most importantly your joy for this creative journey you're living.

That's pure freedom.

Heads up! I'll be doing a superfun AMA (ask me anything, for those not down with the acronyms) on Facebook Live May 2nd at 2pm PDT. Put it on your calendar and follow me here to be sure you get the notification at Facebook the instant the party starts!

Coming soon: Goodies based on your awesome replies to my question about what would help you (and those you love to send into the Bonaverse) the most. THANK YOU for the feedback to that email a couple o' weeks back. Ridiculously helpful! πŸ™‚ While we're building all the goodies you've requested, here's a great place to start in the meantime.

SMFA Retreat rockstars, you should be digging in on your homework by now. Check your spam/junk/promo spaces if the long-ass prep/location/parking/homework email didn't find its way to your inbox on Wednesday. Cannot WAIT to jam with y'all about your most castable type (and where that lives under your brand umbrella), how to target your dream agents (and make their dreams come true too), and developing a pitch so organic and easy to deliver you will crave folks asking, "So… tell me about yourself!" Hooray!

There's a lot to prep for this amazingly fun and productive day… but whatever you pack up to bring with you, don't bring your attachment to something you could go right ahead and forgive right now. There's a lot of interesting storytelling we do about "the way it is" in this business (and in our lives). Some of it? Totally unnecessary and unhelpful. Let's make badass choices that FEEL GREAT, shall we? One forgiving at a time.

πŸ™‚

Hooray and happy weekend, lovelies! Let's round out April with a ton of productive goodness… and loads of joy. Always joy! πŸ˜‰

XO


Bonnie Gillespie is living her dreams by helping others figure out how to live theirs. Wanna work with Bon? Start here. Thanks!

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2 Comments

  1. Cathy May 1, 2017 at 3:47 pm

    Great timing for this one. Just as I’m (yet again) rubbing up against the places where I back off, shut down, deflect,… good reminder to let that sh*t go rather than get hooked back into the story.

    Shempa in action!

    Reply
  2. Bonnie Gillespie Bonnie Gillespie May 8, 2017 at 5:39 pm

    Awesome, Cathy! πŸ™‚ So glad this was well-timed for you. XO

    Reply

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