I’ve recently been thinking a lot about resonance.
When something resonates with us, it creates positive emotions.
It’s right. We feel it in our gut. We just KNOW.
We’ve done enough research to calculate the risks in what we’re doing. We feel as though our footing is sure enough that we should be able to launch without injury.
And we leap.
This is *always* when the best stuff seems to happen!
But I’ve noticed something about a lot of creatives out there. Y’all like to check with others. You want a blueprint. You want a map to follow and you want it to recalculate like some psychic GPS for every bit of variation in your specific situation at that moment, your unique relationships, your dreamed-for results.
Because life is not a point-A to point-B journey, this expectation that things can be meticulously plotted out is a wee bit ridiculous (and at the very least, unreasonable).
We’re creatives!
C’mon, y’all! The very nature of being creative people means our journeys — like us — will be filled with surprises and exciting, delightful experiences along the way!
Sure, sometimes it’s scary to move forward without a gameplan, and that’s why Self-Management for Actors exists. It’s meant to be a guidebook of smart business practices — not a map — and, if I do my job well, you simply won’t need me as much.
I know. Shitty business model, on my end, huh?
While others are out there selling you Mad Libs-style forms, or telling you the only way to unlock success is to spend *more* money to work with them (because they keep their BEST tips up on an out-of-reach shelf), I’m over here dishing out information that ultimately makes me obsolete.
Good.
I hope everyone needs me just long enough to realize YOUR GUT is to be trusted! And then go out there and make shit happen. Come back to me when you get stuck, sure. I’ll be here. But don’t ask me for a map. Don’t expect templates — even if you grab our amazing SMFA Starter Kit thinking it might contain ’em (it doesn’t).
I don’t offer templates despite stellar feedback on my help with clients’ cover letters and bios and resumés. I won’t offer templates no matter how many actors ask me for them. The people who *do* offer templates have never been on the receiving end of endless templates (we can always smell ’em, even if you’ve tweaked a thing or two) *or* those hucksters don’t give a poop what folks on the receiving end think about people who mindlessly send carbon-copy materials to them.
(This is the same as those demo reel scene creation facilities that sell you “original” scenes which — if you watch demo reels as a part of your job — you soon realize are not at all original, but in fact sold and resold to many, many actors.)
They don’t care that you may be eroding your brand — and compromising your relationships — using their prefab nonsense.
And honey, this is a relationship business.
Relationships take time. They take work. They take nurturing like the precious, persnickety plants they are. And they may still never bloom, despite all your hard work.
And that’s gotta be okay.
Do your research to make sure your efforts are more LIKELY to pay off. Make sure you’ve got good footing for a safe launch. Yes, of course.
But stop incessantly checking with others. Stop looking for a formula (there isn’t one). You know when you’re ready to take a calculated risk.
It resonates with you to do so.
And then you do it.
And it’s awesome.
Please. Go with your gut.
Put me out of business.
😉
It means I’ve done my job well!
(And I know I have. We have an amazing generation of badass, brilliant actors out there today who are savvy businesspeople, constantly making me smile!)
Lead on, ninjas! Let’s show ’em how it’s done!
All my love,
Bonnie Gillespie is living her dreams by helping others figure out how to live theirs. Wanna work with Bon? Start here. Thanks!
Yes to all this! You have basically given us a place to learn how to walk. Once we get on our own two legs and start moving, you step aside and applaud. Then you move on to the others who need help getting up and moving. We make come back cuz we now bought a shiny new bike and need your help learning how to glide and ride, but we have to do it. We have to trust outselves to get moving and make it our own path down the pavement. You are amazing, Mama Bear!
Yes to all this! You have basically given us a place to learn how to walk. Once we get on our own two legs and start moving, you step aside and applaud. Then you move on to the others who need help getting up and moving. We make come back cuz we now bought a shiny new bike and need your help learning how to glide and ride, but we have to do it. We have to trust ourselves to get moving and make it our own path down the pavement. You are amazing, Mama Bear!
Tanya, I soooooooo love that analogy! It’s perfect! Yaaaaaaaaassssss! YOU are amazing too, m’dear. I’ve so enjoyed getting to watch you fly these eight years (EIGHT YEARS?!?) and this is only the beginning! I love you! XO
This is awesome!! Love this post. As for a recent gut-listening time… There was a networking event being held at a nice bar nearby. There was no dress-code, but I felt the usual pressure to look all red-carpet-y. However, my gut was telling me to go the headshot route on this one, meaning, look like me on my best day. So I did. Left my hair natural, did my makeup subtle but polished, wore a t-shirt and jeans with some cool necklaces. The idea was to have people be able to see me from across the room and know whether they want to talk to me or not based on what they see. I didn’t have to put additional effort into”showing who I really am”, working against an outfit and updo that would better suit a different type of event. The people who approached me, and who I bonded with were spectacular! I’ve already gleaned gigs and collaboration prospects from those interactions. Really kick started my self-trust.
Bonnie!
I’ve finally stopped worrying about why the people around me are working so much and stressing on how to get to *their* level. Whatever that means. I’m so proud to be creating my own content now. My short film “Signing Out” which I co-wrote/produced/star in, just had its US premiere at the New York Film Festival in Long Beach. Our feedback has been phenomenal and it has been so inspiring to be surrounded by other people in the industry striving to do the same thing! Thanks for reminding us to always stay our own course… 🙂
xx
Emily — So glad you trusted your gut! That on-brand YOUNESS you exuded is exactly the kind of thing that I’m talking about. You see how it made a difference! Fantastic! And no more wasted energy on all that “how I should dress for this” nonsense, huh? Yay!
Adriana — Congratulations on “Signing Out” and its US premiere! That’s fantastic! I’m so excited for you! Keep me posted on how it all goes.