I was at lunch with an actor friend when one of those alerts came over his phone for a casting that matched his online profile. He opened the message and followed the link to the original breakdown, and started reading aloud: “This guy’s a loser. A schlub. A sad sack whose mere presence makes everyone else uncomfortable. He’s losing his hair and gaining a gut. He can’t win.”

We looked at each other and burst into laughter. (We were having a great lunch date, and there had been lots of laughs already.) “Yeah. I go out for this guy all the time,” he said.

I asked, “How do you take that, emotionally, when you’re not in such a good place, and those words land in your inbox?”

We looked at each other, then after a beat, both said, “take it all the way to the bank.”

I say that phrase a lot. I also add the phrase, “wipe your tears with hundred dollar bills,” sometimes, because the visual is so delicious.

Yeah, it may hurt your heart a bit when you get that call from your agent saying, “I’ve got you going in for the role of the vapid model. She’s really stupid and gets used a lot, but she’s too dumb to notice. Break a leg!” but if you focus on the “I’ve got you going in” part, it’s all good news.

Actors who are cast as the creep, the bad guy, the wannabe, the never-was, the fatty, the uggo, the loser, need to stay focused on the fact that they’re cast that way, and not get down about the rest of it. There’s this line in an episode of Family Guy in which Peter Griffin talks about Steve Buscemi’s looks, noting “every one of his teeth is in business for itself.” When you think about how many times Buscemi has probably had to hear comments from others about his looks, also think about how — if you’re one of the more sensitive actors out there — it has felt when you have heard negative comments about your weight, your hairline, your acne scars, your whatever. Multiply that by the number of times Buscemi (or anyone out there who gets a ton of that sort of commentary, rumbling in the background) must hear it all, and think about how tough-skinned one must get, over time.

Wiping tears with hundred dollar bills; dedicating each of your many gold, shiny statuettes to those who’ve said negative things about you; playing those roles with unflattering adjectives in their descriptions… all the way to the bank… makes it all so much easier.

Start conditioning yourself for success by depersonalizing any part of this pursuit that feels personal (because, remember, it’s never personal). Getting down with this sooner will only help you, later. Start by adding “all the way to the bank” to anything that makes you uncomfortable to hear, about the roles you inhabit. Cash those checks, y’all!

Bonnie Gillespie is living her dreams by helping others figure out how to live theirs. Wanna work with Bon? Start here. Thanks!

Originally published by Actors Access at http://more.showfax.com/columns/avoice/archives/001536.html. Please support the many wonderful resources provided by the Breakdown Services family. This posting is the author’s personal archive.