Okay, I think KiKi may have officially come up with a way to cheer my ass up. At least for tonight. (Note: I have not read ANY of the answers at KiKi’s blog. I just copied the questions and here are my answers.)
Instructions: You must sleep with one of the following people, live with one of them, and throw one of them off a cliff. What do you do? (feel free to explain your answers)
Round One:
Jake Gyllenhaal (Live with. He seems clean and orderly. And he’s cute to look at.)
George Clooney (Sleep with. I’d live with him except for all of the pranks. I’d seriously get tired of every day being April Fool’s Day, despite the fact that he’s hot.)
Matthew McConaughey (Throw off a cliff. I do not love bong owners.)
Round Two:
Jessica Alba (Sleep with. Hello! HOT!)
Jessica Simpson (Throw off a cliff. Too much drama and product.)
Jessica Fletcher (Live with. She’d make me breakfast and make the bed. Good roommates, those British.)
Round Three:
Lance Armstrong (Sleep with. No chance of getting knocked up. Oops… too soon?)
Lance Bass (Live with. Everyone needs a gay best friend!)
a bass (Throw off a cliff. Will start to smell otherwise.)
Round Four:
Betty White (Live with. She’ll take care of the pets.)
Rue McClanahan (Sleep with. I mean, c’mon… she’s just an old-timey Samantha.)
Bea Arthur (Throw off a cliff. And, BTW, *shudder* on this whole round.)
Round Five:
John Kennedy (Sleep with.)
Robert Kennedy (Live with.)
Ted Kennedy (Throw off a cliff.)
Round Six:
Mother Teresa (Live with.)
The Pope (Throw off a cliff. I mean, bless a luxury car and piss me off.)
Ghandi (Sleep with. And, again, *ewww*.)
Round Seven:
Bert (Throw off a cliff. Total control freak.)
Ernie (Live with. He’s fun.)
Oscar the Grouch (Sleep with. A gal’s gotta slum it every now and then.)
Round Eight:
Paper (Live with. I LOVES me some office supplies.)
Rock (Sleep with. Think about it.)
Scissors (Throw off a cliff. And again, KiKi, I think you’re twisted.)
Round Nine:
Mary Kate Olsen (Sleep with. She won’t remember it.)
Ashley Olsen (Live with. She’s used to cleaning up after her sister.)
Pontius Pilate (Throw off a cliff. Only b/c I worry I’ll be called something really evil by people who know who this guy is, if I say anything else.)
Round Ten:
Marcia (Live with. So much fun to share clothes with!)
Jan (Throw off a cliff. I mean, enough with the whining!)
Cindy (Sleep with. That lisp has to be good for something!)
Round Eleven:
Freud (Sleep with. Irony is fun!)
Jung (Live with. Holy crap, would we have some good talks.)
Sartre (Throw off a cliff. Just ’cause.)
Round Twelve:
an apple (Live with. Love apples. Diverse.)
an orange (Throw off a cliff. Hate oranges.)
a banana (Sleep with. Duh.)
Round Thirteen:
Lenny (Live with. He’s the most easy-going.)
Squiggy (Throw off a cliff. That voice!)
Urkel (Sleep with. Once you go Urkel…)
Round Fourteen:
Tom Cruise (Throw off a cliff.)
Kate Holmes (Sleep with.)
Suri Cruise-Holmes (Live with. Since it’s a fictional baby and there will be no crying.)
Round Fifteen:
George Bush Sr. (Throw off a cliff. Since he created Satan.)
Ronald Reagan (Sleep with. Just for kicks.)
George W. Bush (Live with. Because I could just rearrange the furniture and confuse the hell out of him. Hours of fun!)
Thanks, KiKi. You’re one sick puppy!!!