Bonnie —
First of all, I would like to thank you for The Actors Voice. Your column has provided me (and countless others) with fantastic advice and a refreshing perspective and has helped me prepare for my move to LA. I am graduating college in a month and am getting in the car and driving to LA on New Year’s Day. I have researched classes I would like to take, pinpointed my primary type (the intelligent, fearless bitch who will say anything, especially if it’s funny), researched headshot photographers to meet with, and much, much more (and I own SMFA and Acting Qs)! I already have an apartment, a roommate, and a lifetime of savings, and I am totally ready to go. I just have one strange question.
I gained a significant amount of weight when I was 14 and it took years for me to figure out how to lose it. Finally in the last couple years I was diagnosed with insulin resistance and got it under control and completely changed my lifestyle so that I lost all of the weight in a slow and healthy way (I went vegan — best decision of my life)! All in all, I went from a size 10 to a size 0. I always knew that for my type — the beautiful 20-year-old leading lady — I needed to be in great shape and now for the first time since I was 14, I am. And the great thing is that I am absolutely positive that I have found a lifestyle I can maintain, and that I will never have weight problems again.
So, for lack of a better way to phrase my question, what I am wondering is how much I need to cover up my former weight problems. I’ve had a successful career in theatre and film during high school and college in Indiana, including a great lead role in an LA-based SAG ULB film coming out next year called Bloomington. However, I know that I can’t use any of my past work for my reel because it no longer represents what I look like now (I may be able to salvage some shots where I’m sitting down). But at least the issue of my professional work is easy enough — I will get new headshots once I move to LA in January and I will start from scratch in attaining footage for my reel.
Where I really started thinking about this topic is when I read your columns about using social networking sites effectively. There are hundreds of pictures of me in my “fat days” (I say this in jest, don’t worry) on my Facebook. Should I untag these or take them all down? I don’t want people to think, one, that I still look that way, because I do not, and, two, that my weight fluctuates and I can’t be counted on to always be in shape. I know that would be an unnecessary risk for casting directors to take on me, if they believed that I won’t necessarily be in good shape when filming starts. However, I have completely changed my lifestyle and my weight problems are 100% behind me, so I know that isn’t an issue.
I tried to keep this brief, but I wanted to give you the whole picture. I would greatly appreciate any comments from you. I have learned so much from your columns and I simply cannot wait to start my career and life in LA.
Thank you again for your contribution to actor knowledge and your positive yet no-BS attitude. We appreciate it.
Hey, thanks! First off, I’m so excited for your LA journey. It really sounds like you’re totally on your way and well-prepped for rocking when you get here. Thank you for making Self-Management for Actors a part of your journey. That really means a lot to me!
Next, congrats on getting your health in order. What a battle that can be! It has to feel fantastic to have identified a problem and gotten it under control. Congratulations and well done!
Now, as for the old photos, my first bit of advice is: Don’t worry, because we’re just not looking as much as you may think we are. It’s that whole, “We probably wouldn’t worry about what people think of us if we could know how seldom they do,” thing (and that’s a quote that’s been attributed to both Olin Miller and Eleanor Roosevelt, over time; I’d love a definitive source on that, if anyone has one).
Whomever the source of that quote, I can guarantee you that we’re just not putting as much weight (no pun intended) as you think we’re putting into it, when (or IF) we see old photos of you. Now, that said, certainly there’s the issue of talking us out of it (which actors do with multiple headshots or use of old footage on a demo reel, selling us conflicting types or age ranges) and that means you want to keep your old photos off your professional actor profiles, your website, any photo albums in your social networking profiles that are labeled “headshots” or otherwise identified as something other than “social” or “retro.” And, yes, your demo reel needs to be all about how to cast you now, so the older stuff should go anyway.
As for social networking, I think friend categories are a great way to prevent certain audiences from seeing the photos you might not want out there, professionally. I like that Facebook (for now, who knows — with the way they change privacy settings every few weeks — how long that will last) allows you to set permissions so that only photos you want seen by certain populations are available to them.
But still, it’s far better to just “get okay” with what’s out there, because it is who you were at one point, and that’s important to honor, in life (if not in the ‘biz). I was actually talking with some actor friends a week or so ago about their vanity and their need to hide, block, untag, or otherwise bury photos of themselves they found unflattering (and they were very self-critical, where that was concerned). I reminded them that they’ve chosen a public life, by pursuing acting in a major market like Los Angeles, and it’s going to be impossible to hide everything that doesn’t line up with how they see themselves, today. Worse, when folks like those behind shows like TMZ or The Soup learn you aren’t enjoying the attention, they’ll turn up the goal of “getting you.”
So, get okay with it. It’s going to be out there. And the more transparent you are about your process — the more “out” about your damage you are — the better. Because if you own who you are, where you were, and what you’ve experienced — and who you are today thanks to the journey — you’re less of a target. Heck, you can even put in your website’s bio that you learned something about your health and that you recommend that others who struggle get tested or go through the process to discover an imbalance that might be the cause of their battle with the scales. Your journey could inspire others!
Again, I say all this with the reminder that we probably aren’t looking. Honestly, I’m Facebook friends with thousands of actors whose pages I never poke into. I probably wouldn’t even notice if someone uploaded a scandalous recent photo of an actor, much less an older photo of the actor at a different weight or type or hair color or whatever.
So, sure: Craft your professional image so that you’re always showing us how to cast you next (that goes for your headshot, your resumé, your website, your demo reel, your bio, etc.), but don’t put too much worry into the status of the candids in your life, or even the headshots from your “previous type.” We won’t determine our true opinion of you ’til you’re in front of us, really. And as long as that lines up with what you told us it would be, when you (or your reps) submitted, we’re cool.
Good luck in your Los Angeles journey! I’m excited for you, and eager to hear how things go for you and your skinny self. 🙂
Bonnie Gillespie is living her dreams by helping others figure out how to live theirs. Wanna work with Bon? Start here. Thanks!
Originally published by Actors Access at http://more.showfax.com/columns/avoice/archives/001121.html. Please support the many wonderful resources provided by the Breakdown Services family. This posting is the author’s personal archive.