2011 in Questions

(See also 2010 in Questions, 2009 in Questions, 2008 in Questions, 2007 in Questions, 2006 in Questions, 2005 in Questions, and 2004 in Questions.)

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?

I don’t even know where to begin with this question. 2011 was filled with so many new things and so much magic. I know I grew my business. I launched a mailing list with original artwork by Chari Pere. I hosted a podcast. I gained a better understanding of who I am and why I’m here. And that was ninja good. Oh! But I know what I did that most excited my inner six-year-old, as I reflect: I held Donny Osmond’s hand as he sang. *swoon* Thanks, MCJ!

In Vegas for the Donny and Marie Show with MCJ

2. Did you keep your 2011 resolutions? Will you make resolutions for 2012?

As I say every year, I don’t make resolutions; I invite things into my life. Remarkably, my Welcome 2011 list looks to be almost complete. That’s crazy! I did some really mindful manifestation, got out of my own way, and am celebrating by feeling incredibly fulfilled. As for 2012, well, this will be the year we get our house, as we’re just a few thousand dollars away from our down payment, and “new house” means PUPPIES, which is an item that’s been on my list every year for… well… as long as I’ve been making lists, methinks. Hee!

Crappy Evil Tequila Boys

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Caroline had her baby, as did Megan and Jeni (all of which I mentioned as “coming soon” in last year’s year-end blog post) DNS and Jen had their baby, which started cookin’ after last year’s wrap-up. I think Georgina and Shelley are each expecting now and, all my vibes are going to one of my longest, lifetime friends who is doing everything in her power to join the mommy club in 2012. }}}vibes{{{

AIPA Glee Club

4. Did anyone close to you die?

The closest-to-me death of 2011 was my dear sweet momma’s cat Salema (mom named her Ebony, but I renamed her when I inherited her in 2001). The decision to put down a pet has to be some of the shittiest emotional turmoil there is, since there’s no way to ask — like I could with my mom, near the end of her time on this planet — “Are you in so much pain that you’re ready to go?” *sigh*

As for people, a lovely young actor I worked with in Australia in 2009 and then when his group toured here in 2010 passed away just before the launch of his TV series. One of my dearest friends, Dawn, lost her father (who was her best friend, truly, and was one of the kindest, sweetest people I’ve ever met) this summer after her wedding. And Bob Fraser, friend to actors worldwide through his writings and teachings, died on my birthday. In his honor, I think I’ll finally produce PDF versions of my books in 2012 — something he advised I do nearly a decade ago, over breakfast with our mutual friend, Judy. (Oh, and for good measure, I’ll do the audio book versions too.)

CastingAbout Event with Gary Marsh

5. What countries did you visit?

Canada! For the first time in my life, I traveled to Canada (as a part of the Self-Management for Actors Seminar tour) and even got to do a low-fly-over of Niagara Falls on Porter Airlines, the coolest airline after Virgin! Huge thanks to my tour producer, Kevin, for putting me on the road, and to Stacey for setting up all the SAG Foundation events, and of course to Gary for the advice! More of this in 2012, starting with Orlando in just a few weeks.

Scripts

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?

Just the house and the puppies. I talked last year about how much hard work I had put in and how it was time for me to start reaping the benefits of all the work I’ve put in for so long. Check! This was an incredibly abundant year and I am so excited about how very close we are to having that house of ours, those puppies of ours, and maybe — just maybe — a new coat of paint for the 22.5-year-old TicTac, finally.

SMFA Stays in Print

7. What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory and why?

There’s gonna be a bunch, this year. First up, April 20th. I had a ladydate with the inimitable Dyana and she got me thinking about things in ways I hadn’t been approaching them before. Nothing concrete, just a nudge into a realm I hadn’t considered. Seeds were planted.

Next, April 28th. This was the day I decided to mourn the death of Self-Management for Actors, as we didn’t have enough money to keep it in print, and we had gotten word from our international distributor that they were running out of stock. I sat on the floor in Quinn’s room and asked Keith to let me cry about the loss for ten solid minutes, because I had run out of options — looking for financing, asking for help, working my ass off — and it was clear: We would not be able to keep the book in print. I cried for the end of this book that has been in print for eight years and has changed the lives of tens of thousands of actors, that is now a textbook at colleges and universities, that certainly is my legacy.

And then I got pissed. I got resourceful. And within 12 minutes, I had decided it was time to stop TURNING AWAY 28 to 40 actors per cycle of the SMFA Seminars and fucking open another section of class. And raise the price. No more of this $100 a month crap. The days of giving it away? Over. I decided right then that I would put out word on Hollywood Happy Hour — keeping in mind we had always treated class like Fight Club, referral only, no advertising, no website ’til just months before this — and if we could get ten people registered in 48 hours, we’d rent the space and start the second class of the week on that Tuesday. Done. And by year-end, we were offering THREE classes per week in the SMFA principles, plus the online courses, plus the international tour. This day was a huge one. And it took getting sad to get mad to get THROUGH. Within weeks, we had the money to keep the book in print — but not how you’d think.

A series of dates and a series of meetings with some very powerful and very motivating girlfriends of mine (May 2nd, May 4th, May 9th, May 11th, May 13th, and May 14th — with Anna, Camille, Janet, Dawn, Courtenay, and Tamika) — all of whom listened to my bitching and who presented suggestions, support, encouragement, ideas, creative angles from which to consider things — round up the next run of dates etched in my brain for 2011. These ladies formed a one-at-a-time powergroup for me, basically. I’ve never sought out support of any kind, and suddenly I was ready to invite it in. And in it came, tenfold. I was cared for and encouraged and coached in ways I’d never thought possible. I was getting some really good ideas. But still, no money to keep the book in print. Making progress with the new class and an unexpected casting gig, benefiting from the kindness of our accountant and chiropractor who were cutting us slack during lean times, but seeing as our 2010 put us WAY deep in debt, there were other obligations, so I needed all the creativity I could muster. My ladies saved my life.

Here’s where it gets really good. I was in a meeting on May 22nd about turning the SMFA Seminars into a web-based offering, which could free me up to travel and do an audiobook version of all my books, have some breathing room on so many things… and during that meeting, an email was landing in my inbox, inviting me to pitch Self-Management for Actors into the For Dummies series. I had a moment of, “Who am I to write a book for the FOR DUMMIES series?” and immediately, I had the comeback of, “WHO ELSE to write that book? OMG! This is MINE!”

On May 27th, I was putting the finishing touches on my pitch — something that really made me fall more deeply in love with the book — and more passionate about keeping it in print (Oh, BTW, did you guys notice that Self-Management for Actors got listed as one of THE TOP TEN BOOKS ON ACTING EVER WRITTEN *and* singled out on Tom Cruise’s blog? Yeah. This is good shit. I’ve got this on LOCK, I’m thinking), and another email comes in. This time, from the man who would become my tour producer, letting me know he had been thinking about who actors most need to hear from, in other cities, and offering to produce what is now the SMFA Seminars TOUR… internationally. (I decided at this point I really liked taking meetings about ONE project because I kept getting offers for NEW projects, each time I started “walking toward YES” on others.)

Then came the biggie: June 16th (our wedding anniversary, BTW) and a lunch date with Helenna. This particular lunch was so different from every lunch we had ever shared previously that I wrote about it in my Actors Access column here. Helenna introduced me to The War of Art by Steven Pressfield. Well, I’d known about it for a while, but she basically made it a “must read” right that minute, and after three bookstores, Keith found a copy the following day, and I had it read in a few hours… and had a new logline within a week of that. I declared my life from that point forward the DDA era. Done Dickin’ Around.

And on June 18th — as I sat across from someone I *thought* had hired me for a career consulting session to go over some script pitches for a network development meeting coming up — I glowed like Helenna had glowed two days earlier, so very clear in my DDA life. So on my path. And suddenly an envelope was in my hand. Thousands of dollars from a benefactor I didn’t know was even aware my book was going out of print. Just as I had started walking the path that WOULD lead toward my book making a comeback, eventually, it was a non-issue. The book was back in print. That day. And I knew then that DDA was serious business.

On July 23rd, our dear friend Dave suffered his second heart attack, and this one was massive. We weren’t even able to visit him in the hospital until a week later, because it was so damn serious. On our way to the hospital, Keith and I discussed how we could help Dave, whose business was now going to be in jeopardy without his daily (and he’s a 20 hours per day worker, BTW — you know the type) involvement. A brilliant intern of mine — The Shredder — asked if she could intern more hours for me in exchange for the following month’s SMFA Master Class. No. She could donate hours at Dave’s business, helping him and Kathi keep the lights on, and I could do better than one intern in exchange for comped class. Carolina lit the fuse. Due to the shift in EVERYTHING that had come in the past two months, even though I couldn’t cut Dave and Kathi a check for a few grand every month, I sure as shit could infuse their office with volunteers and then comp those folks in class or consulting sessions. The Dave Intern Program was born… and THAT has been my favorite give-back of the year.

On October 3rd, I took the stage for a speaking engagement with SAG Foundation (my Broadway debut), microphone, director’s chair (in which I never sat), bottled water, a stack of question cards, and hundreds of people filling every seat (and standing in the aisles and across the back of the space). I felt like Tony Fucking Robbins as I would say various “Bonnieims” and hear a spattering of applause here, a call of “WOO HOO” there. It was a moment I needed, as it would fill me with the confidence to do the bravest thing laid out ahead of me still to do: Launch registration for Get A-Listed, which surpassed our “wildest dreams” enrollment level on October 24th. Keith and I — at dinner between a university speaking engagement and an industry showcase — learned the good news via email and ordered a bottle of champagne. Well-earned.

More importantly than anything, here, is that 2011 was the year in which I lined up with some of the finest people on the planet, trusted them as they led me down a scary looking path, got angry enough to get out of my own way (seriously, when I think about how successful I’ve been while, all along, cock-blocking my success, I can only imagine what’s ahead, now that I’m DDA), and then proved exactly what I’ve always preached, which is: The reason we WANT to do well is so we can do GOOD. The ability to give back? At a level I’ve never experienced? Fucking badass. Just wait. 2012 is going to be a field of dreams.

Ninja Badassery Cupcakes from J'aime

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Relaxing. Usually, when Keith sweeps me away to our Desert Hot Springs private getaway, it’s because I’m so stressed out I cannot see straight. It’s because I’m so fried that I will DIE if I don’t take a break. This fall, for the first time EVER, I had a vacation. A true, total, 99.9% vacation (okay, I worked ONE day for about four hours), during which I just BREATHED and soaked in mineral hot springs and laughed and loved and breathed some more. For a workhorse like me, that sort of thing is a huge accomplishment.

Bliss

9. What was your biggest failure?

No failure. Only lessons. And gratitude for them. If I wanted to list “booger statues,” I could, but Gary taught me last year that leaders create a bunch of things that “don’t go” and it’s not ever a failure, it’s just a “booger statue” that means you never stop creating. And I don’t. Ever. So, no failure. Ever. Failure is stopping. I don’t do that.

Love from Boys

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

No! 🙂 *knocks wood* A VERY good year, health-wise!

Are You SURE It's Impossible?

11. Whose behavior merited celebration?

The greatness of Colleen Wainwright. Her badassery involves an organization for which I started volunteering in early 2009, after Annie invited me to be a guest speaker at an event. I hadn’t heard of WriteGirl, but I was immediately enchanted, and went “all in.” Volunteered, mentored, fundraised. 🙂 On September 13th, at Colleen’s 50th birthday party and head shaving extravaganza, to celebrate having raised over $111K for my favorite non-profit, I heard (and saw) the words that would be the “yes, and…” to DDA, for 2011 and beyond. “Are you SURE it’s impossible?” — Unless you’re sure it can’t be done, fuck it. It can. And it will. That Colleen sacked up and proved it is a touchstone for my willingness to prove it can be done every time I hear a whisper of a dream.

Fuck You, Pay Me Kiddo

12. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Oy. I think it may be time to just lose this question altogether. I never want to celebrate someone’s cowardice, and that’s what activates this issue. Anyone who made me sad even for a minute is just someone who isn’t living on purpose. That sucks for them. I choose not to let it suck for me.

Get A-Listed

13. Where did most of your money go?

Launching a new business was quite an investment, as was the reprinting of the book (benefactor or no), but, yet again, nothing comes close to… RENT. But we love living at the beach. Especially as we’re almost done with it for now. And my lovely hubs actually told our landlord we’d be out within six months, when he (the landlord) offered to fix some rust spots in our tub. Oh… it’s happening. I love that next year, my answer to this question will be all about down payments and renovations and insurance and such! 🙂

Shooting Live from the Basement

14. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

DDA.

Jenn Phill Bon

15. What song will always remind you of 2011?

Tee hee! I love the Foster the People song, “Pumped Up Kicks.” It actually became a mantra for dealing with the haters this year. And who doesn’t love a sweet-sounding song with twisted-ass lyrics? That’s ninja!

NYIT SAG Foundation SMFA

16. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder?

Happier. Last year ended like ass. This year? Like a SWEET ass! 🙂

b) thinner or fatter?

Ooh! Probably the same, actually. I need to check my scale and my log from last year to be sure, but I know I crept up in 2010 and I think I lost nothing in 2011, even though everyone who sees me says, “Ooh! You’re losing weight!” which is weird, but I figure it’s also a call to the universe, and I’ll take it. 🙂 Good news is, I’ve started a new plan (my BIGGEST problem is not eating for HOURS after getting up, and then only eating about 800 calories a day… maybe adding another 600 in cocktails) which has me headed toward a better answer for this time next year.

c) richer or poorer?

FUCKING RICHER! Phew! Because last year got “will work for food” scary and to be able to pay the bills again feels GREAT. To know that we’ll be able to pay the bills in a house within six months? AWESOME. Tier jumps are gooooood. But, BTW, in case you didn’t doubt when I wrote *exactly* this in SMFA way back in 2003, it takes a decade. It. Takes. A. Decade.

Hugging Ryan

17. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Gosh, I want to say “delegate,” but there are things I *did* delegate that got totally crapped on by the folks to whom I delegated. So, as I head into the era of having paid staff, an assistant, team Cricket Feet at a higher level, I wonder if I’m ever gonna be able to deal with delegation. I need a class in that, actually. I’m so used to “doin’ it all for myself” that I’m not sure how to delegate and then let go. I think that’s gotta be the bigger “wish,” here. 🙂

Bon Helenna

18. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Make mindless choices. This covers a lot of things. And the good news is: I’m getting much better at this, daily. But when I make choices that are not based in a centered place of mindfulness, I sometimes end up out of whack. When I center myself, get clear, have a goal, and set out on the path toward it, I’m happy and whole.

Izzy

19. How will you be spending Christmas?

Like last year, I’ll be at my bestie’s house, hanging out with her gorgeous Italian Greyhound, enjoying a well-decorated holiday fireplace, watching pay-cable at the level above which we have access at home, drinking New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc, snuggling with my wonderful hubby, and reflecting on my favorite year in a long stretch. 🙂

Brains

20. Did you fall in love in 2011?

I fall in love every day of my life. It’s a wonderful habit and I highly recommend it!

Thinkin' Lincoln

21. What was your favorite TV program?

Shark Tank! Yes! One of my favorite things about pet-sitting is that I get exposed to shows I wouldn’t watch otherwise, because if I’m at home and the TV is on, I’m watching whatever is stored up in the TiVo, because there’s always something. But when I’m at a friend’s home, taking care of his or her pups, I watch whatever’s on. And this year, it was Shark Tank at AnnaVo’s in May. GOOD STUFF. In fact, in one of my darkest hours in the timeline, above, one of the things I considered was going on the show and pitching SMFA to keep it in print. That was because they commended a woman whose self-published niche book had sold nearly 10K copies. Um. Dude. I’ve got that beat. I realized then — as a part of the above timeline — I’m doing JUST fine. 🙂 But I do love the Shark Tank also because it mimics Pitch Clinic, which we do in the SMFA Foundations Seminars, Tours, and online classes. It’s gooooood stuff!

Bon Laurie at Shoot

22. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Nope. Never. I don’t hate. I’ve got no time for that nonsense.

Prosperity Colanders

23. What was the best book you read?

The War of Art by Steven Pressfield. Fact. This book fucking changed my life. Ignited DDA. Fixed my shit. Rocked my world. When we have our next tier jump, we’ll actually be sending out copies of this book, my book, and these super cute ninja thumb drives as “thanks for registering” gifts to folks who sign up for Get A-Listed.

T-Dot

24. What was your greatest musical discovery?

That’s easy: The Voice. Now, you should know that I *never* watch American Idol or X Factor or America’s Got Talent or any of that mess, so it’s bizarre that I even tuned in, but the ads were compelling, and I loves me some CeeLo, so I decided to check it out, and within the first nine minutes, I was crying like a blubbering idiot and then became evangelical about what a great show this is. Probably one of the coolest nights of the year was when we did our usual Thirsty Third Thursday karaoke night and learned the venue was a scouting location for The Voice. I may or may not have suggested some Class Rules! alumni as candidates for season two.

Bon Quinn to Catalina

25. What did you want and get?

Support. This was the year I needed it, asked for it (for the first time), and fucking got it. Amazing. I LOVE the people who surround me with such love and encouragement! Very happy.

Casting

26. What did you want and not get?

That slammin’ bod I had in my 20s. Oh, wait. I don’t ever get that, now? Dammit! Okay, well, something close. 😉 No, seriously, I’m actually okay being a plus-sized gal, but I’d still like a few pounds shaved off this frame, and that’s on its way. As is the house. As are the puppies. I mean, really, at this point, it’s all academic.

Cartoon Bon by Cheri Pere

27. What was your favorite film of this year?

Ah, a five-year-old movie called The Pimp Chronicles from Katt Williams. I thank the greatness that is Nick for putting Katt Williams on my radar, earlier this year. I went down the rabbit hole, watched a lot, and learned even more. A delicious companion to DDA is the lay-it-out-there-ness of Sir Katt.

Bon at 41 and Quinn at 12.5

28. What did you do on your birthday? How old were you?

Yet another year in which Quinn was in town for my birthday. Yay, me! 🙂 That’s such a happy! Every year while planning the visit, Keith asks Quinn what “special thing” he’d like to do (they go away for a day or two, hit a theme park, we go to a place with waterslides or roller coasters, etc.) and Quinn — on their trip-planning phone date this year — decided he wanted to go back to Catalina, which is where Keith and Quinn went six years earlier, before our wedding (I stayed in LA and worked on casting a play), but this year he insisted that I come along. I’m not a “sun girl,” so I bought a big hat and off we went. And on my 41st birthday, I was walked to one of the nicer restaurants in Avalon by my favorite 12 year old. He talked my ear off and asked if he could hold my hand. It seriously doesn’t get better than that.

Dreamwhip

29. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Y’know, it may seem like I’m all about the coin, but let’s just say there are things in life that having the ability to “throw money at it” would absolutely fix. I don’t believe money buys happiness — never have — but I do believe that happy people with money find really wonderful things to do with that money. And when there were some issues this year for which money could’ve been the solution, I was reminded about how nice that breathing room is. Getting there. Making things right.

Brits Karaoke

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?

The usual. Jeans. Cami tanks. Flowing overtops. Scarves. Chunky bracelets, necklaces, and rings. Never earrings. Square-toed boots or strappy sandals. I’m so easy. 🙂 That said, I did go shop at my MOST favorite store on the planet (since 1993) but at the outlet mall and got — in particular — an $188 duster for $32. It feels like butter. It makes me very happy.

SMFA Class

31. What kept you sane?

Humor. Writing. Friends. Keith. The cats. Goat cheese. Vodka. Always keeping an eye toward what’s next, what’s awesome, what’s fun to play with, because if I’m not actively having fun with the next thing, the awesome thing, the whole LIFE thing… what’s the point?

Mac

32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Steve Jobs. How could there be a different answer, this year? This is my “JFK,” “John Lennon,” “Challenger” moment and I remember where I was when I learned he died. I was on a barstool at an underground pub in Chelsea, wanting to turn to everyone else there, screaming, “We lost Steve!” and then wishing I were in LA so I could walk to the 3rd St. Promenade Apple Store, holding an iPhone in each hand like a candle, to honor someone who changed our lives. A true Outlier.

Crack Phenom

33. What political issue stirred you the most?

Oy, I’m gonna pick something local to Los Angeles and the casting profession, in particular. This run of pedophilia hitting the news just makes me sad, and hopeful we’re about to see some shit turn around. But I worry we may have a huge mound of reports flowing forth, in 2012. And we can only hope that we lead the field on the right way to conduct ourselves, professionally.

Salema's Last Night

34. Who did you miss?

Momma Bear, Papa Bear, and now Salema.

McGiggles!

35. Who was the best new person you met?

This is both super easy and tough. I met so many great people in 2011, and I celebrate them regularly. So, to single one out in a year FILLED with the most ridiculously amazing, supportive people I’ve ever attracted is a huge undertaking. But the… THE… best person I met in 2011 has to be CK, whose spirit of “I’m ready” when she joined the SMFA Seminar early this year inspired me at so many levels. She came in broken, as some folks do, but she stayed THROUGH the healing process. She was READY when she showed up. And every minute I spent with her, she taught me that the courage comes from being READY. She also taught me that *I* was ready to push through some brokenness. Since that was such a big part of my 2011, I treasure the groundwork CK laid out for me. Her willingness to share, to plow through, to show up and push through? Fucking inspiring. Fact. And she’s just lovely. I’m so lucky to have her in my life.

Three more ladies I have to single out are Girl Ryan — whom I’ve “known” online and on the phone since I was hired to cast a film she produced back in 2007 — and finally meeting her in person means she gets mentioned here, even thought it’s technically a “cheat.” She’s a rockstar. I already knew that. She is a gift to our lives. FACT. Another gift is Daniele Carrol, my lovely intern who has been so much fun and who has given such delicious perspective on so much of my life this year. I cannot wait to bring Lord McGiggles on payroll. And, hey, having someone with whom I can talk about bad reality TV and then quote commercial catch phrases? NINJA. And then of course there is my separated-at-birth sister, Faith. I cannot begin to summarize how much fun and life and light she brought to my world this year. This is only the beginning, my porch-mate!

And, of course, I met my second husband, Phillip. I’m so glad Keith is okay with this.

Cheese Cocktail

36. What valuable life lesson did you learn in 2011?

Sometimes, you just gotta let others drive. 🙂 If you’ve surrounded yourself with people you trust, that’s not a bad thing. Relax, momma. Oh, and while cheese is amazing and vodka is amazing, grilled cheese-infused vodka cocktails are a little weird.

Tell It

37. What song lyrics sum up your year?

Happiness, hit her like a train on a track
Coming towards her, stuck still no turning back
She hid around corners and she hid under beds
She killed it with kisses and from it she fled
With every bubble she sank with a drink
And washed it away down the kitchen sink

The dog days are over!
The dog days are done
The horses are coming
So you better run

Run fast for your mother run fast for your father
Run for your children for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your love and your longing behind
You can’t carry it with you if you want to survive

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses
’cause here they come
And I never wanted anything from you
Except everything you had
And what was left after that too… oh

Happiness, hit her like a bullet in the back
Struck from a great height
By someone who should know better than that

The dog days are over
The dog days are gone
Can you hear the horses
’cause here they come

Run fast for your mother, fast for your father
Run for your children for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your love and your longing behind
You can’t carry it with you if you want to survive

The dog days are over
The dog days are gone
Can you hear the horses
’cause here they come!

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1 Comment

  1. EL December 28, 2011 at 11:15 pm

    Dear Bonnie,

    Big congrats on all your success & such an amazing life!

    May 2012 bring you endless joy, laughter, great health, love, happiness, amazing people and prosperity!

    love & light,

    EL xo

    Reply

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