(See also 2012 in Questions, 2011 in Questions, 2010 in Questions, 2009 in Questions, 2008 in Questions, 2007 in Questions, 2006 in Questions, 2005 in Questions, and 2004 in Questions.)

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1. What did you do in 2013 that you’d never done before?

Had major surgery. Twice. Saw seven different medical specialists to try and figure out why my wound won’t heal. Learned the art of wound packing (ewwwwww). Rented office space. Showed up above the fold in the LA Times. Spoke as a panelist at a major film festival I first attended 22 years earlier (when it was just a wee music fest).

2. Did you keep your 2013 resolutions? Will you make resolutions for 2014?

I’m not a resolutions kind o’ gal. I set goals and I set more goals and I check in with myself throughout the year — especially on my b’day — so, this is a big ol’ N/A, really.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Three babies that I can think of, right now. Parents: Beau & Camille, Vanessa & French, Matthew & Dani. Hooray! Faith & John have announced their second, on the way. Yay!

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Mark Troy, the writer of the last play I did before I left acting behind.

5. What countries did you visit?

Just this one.

6. What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013?

Better health. No question, there’s something incredibly troubling about having health issues that no one understands (no matter how many degrees line the walls of their offices). I’m going to quit talking about the house and the puppies and the sofa made of money. Health trumps all. And that includes the health of relationships… working on that.

7. What date from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory and why?

June 17th. The day after our 8th wedding anniversary and the day we started couples therapy. Highly recommended. It’s like going to the gym, but for our relationship’s fitness.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Getting through it, returning to pole after being given the all-clear by a team of surgeons, churning out TWO books despite health issues slowing me down and killing our bank account, coaching 54 clients (many several times throughout the year), and staying married.

9. What was your biggest failure?

No such thing. As a perfectionist, I will always have things I think I could’ve done better, and I’m okay with that condition. Failing, though, means surrendering to what didn’t work. I never do that.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Oy. DID I?!? Yeah. That’s a big-ass yup.

11. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Gosh… that of Malala Yousafzai, for sure. I know there’s more, but she’s just so far above the rest of the pack that I’ll leave it at that.

12. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Meh. Y’know that Deepak Chopra quote I love? “Energy is currency. How do you wish to spend it?” Welp, on this topic, I choose to spend a penny, maybe. Whatever. Some people are a mess. I choose not to join them by celebrating their brokenness.

13. Where did most of your money go?

You’d think, in a year of major growth on Team Cricket Feet (office space, higher-paid staff, printing TWO books, tons of travel in the name of SMFA), that THAT sort of investment would be the biggie. Nope… this year, it was put right up my ass. Okay, not really. The surgeries were all ass-adjacent, so that’s a funny joke (along with “pain in my ass,” et. al.) but yeah… needing multiple surgeries at the base of my spine and being uninsured in a pre-Obamacare world gets the savings drained, and fast.

14. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Finally getting the 4th edition to the printer. This was the longest ramp-up/pay-off of all previous books. The 3rd edition was similar, in that I started working on it and then shelved it to get to a better production window (10 months later), but this book — by the time it’s HERE — will have been almost two years in the making. I wasn’t going to churn it out before the merger, of course (as that’s part of why the 4th edition was so far behind previous editions to begin with; why put out a book right before a huge change in the industry, right?), but delays beyond that (surgery #1, surgery #2) and then the fact that this edition was basically a page-one rewrite meant that getting past the finish line on book production has to be the highlight of 2013. That, and getting clearance from my surgeon to go back to pole. Ahh…

15. What song will always remind you of 2013?

“I Don’t Care” by Iconopop. I really got into it on my trip to New York in May, because I specifically *didn’t* see my surgeon right before I left LA because I wanted — for just two weeks — to NOT feel like a patient, and I knew the second I saw her, I’d be scheduled for a second surgery (which is exactly what happened when I got back to LA), and that two weeks in New York, in my home-away-from-home apartment on the UWS, was the *life* of “I don’t care.” I needed that, in an otherwise very serious year.

16. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder?

Happier. I’m optimistic as hell, even though my CPA said to me, last week, “Optimistic is just another word for stupid.” 😉 Heh. I’m happy. For sure. Right now is a good moment. That’s how I take stock.

b) thinner or fatter?

Who knows? I’m back at pole after having had my body violated and there’s a lot of damage to undo. I’m not as flexible on my left as I used to be. I have scar tissue to break. Yes, I can still flip and flirt and fly, and that’s amazing at 43, but I’m also *way* set back due to having spent months on bedrest, having slept more than I ever have, having indulged in comfort food when painkillers dictated there was nothing else I could stomach. If I were to do a weigh-in, I’d say I’m the same, but it’s not as much muscle as it was last year. That’s okay. I’m in three pole classes per week again, so I’m headed in the right direction.

c) richer or poorer?

Poorer! And I’m happy about that, because it’s the depletion of the bank account for printing the fourth edition of Self-Management for Actors, in addition to all the medical stuff, office space, and team upgrades that has me poorer. So, lower bank balance, but assets galore. I’m good. I’m investing in me.

17. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Be gentle. Relax. Go easy. Let myself — and others — off the hook. Just be.

18. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Eat cheese. Drink hooch. Be intense about results. Feel in charge of all the good things that happen in others’ lives. Worry.

19. How will you be spending Christmas?

Today was glorious. As usual, I’m writing this year-end post on Christmas day. This Christmas, I’m alone at my bestie’s house, taking care of her sweet pets, sitting by the tree, enjoying the roaring fire, and watching cable TV. I spent some time sitting outside (it’s so warm!) in quiet reflection, scritching the cats, playing fetch with the dog, enjoying the holiday lights, and dodging gunfire, which is apparently a Valley holiday tradition.

20. Did you fall in love in 2013?

No. Damn shame.

21. What was your favorite TV program?

Apparently it was The Voice if we base it on whether I can’t miss an episode. I’m sure there were others I fell in love with, others I watched and enjoyed, but I just love that whole VOICE thang. I don’t care if my answer is so three years ago. 😉 Good TV.

22. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Pff. I don’t hate. Silly, silly stuffs.

23. What was the best book you read?

Other than mine? The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks. Huge game changer. My birthday read. Yes. ULP is a biggie.

24. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Could it possibly be Bruno Mars? I know, I know. I’m very far behind if that’s my answer for 2013, but the duet of Locked Out of Heaven on The Voice was genius and it made me hum the bridge to Anna Borchert at work one day, hoping she’d be able to tell me who that song was by and how I could find it. And she could decipher. And then I could find it. And it pumped me up many times before pole class. 😉 Yay!

25. What did you want and get?

Peace.

26. What did you want and not get?

Multiple residences and that sofa made of money. Hey, we still play the lotto (or it plays us). No, not hoping against hope, on this one.

27. What was your favorite film of this year?

No question: Terms and Conditions May Apply. I’m no conspiracy theorist, but I read TOS and legal disclaimers like it’s my job (because it is; it’s YOUR job too), and this film nailed down exactly the stuff I’ve been saying for years about how actors especially need to be concerned about hitting LIKE on stuff and earning commercial conflicts because of it. Having your goodies featured on a latenight show because you uploaded it to YouTube. All of it. Important. And I’m a docs junkie, obviously.

28. What did you do on your birthday? How old were you?

I had a crazy ridiculous day of Burke Williams pampering and then a lunch on the Promenade at which my waitress was a *huge* fan of my writing (I had spoken at her college five years ago), so I was comped for pretty much everything. Keith — after having taken Quinn and his cousins out with Aunt Liz for the day — came and met me for a cocktail at a new spot in our ‘hood and then we went home and had a quiet, sweet night. It was exactly what 43 should look like.

29. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

NOT having dealt with all of the medical nonsense. NOT having spent all my money on surgery that didn’t work. NOT having the stress that comes from not understanding what’s broken. But, whatever. Life is what it is. And I’m still here, so, there’s that.

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?

Jeans. Sandals. Cami tanks and overtops. I am 100% predictable. Except at pole. Shorts. Layered sports bras. Something saucier. Y’know. 😉

31. What kept you sane?

Pole. Being away from it for most of the year was sucktastic, so getting back was a huge exhale. Even if I’m behind everyone else in my work, even if I’m the oldest, the largest, the least graceful each class, I am getting so much out of being there, and that’s huge.

32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Well, it may be unpopular right now to say this, but it’s Obama, for me. I’ve been thinking a lot about what he’s going to have left behind as our nation’s leader, and it’ll take a while for folks to really appreciate what he’s done, but there’s a lot to appreciate, and to fancy.

33. What political issue stirred you the most?

Gay marriage, as before. Also the George Zimmerman trial. And Wendy Davis’ filibuster. And entertainment industry union politics. So much. But I try to stay OUT of politics, here, so that’s just the quickie list.

34. Who did you miss?

Mom. Art. Luckily, I got divebombed by many pairs of hummingbirds this year, and I know that’s the two of them saying hello. When there’s only one, that’s momma. Today, there was one, just outside, sitting on a clothesline. The sitting/stopping is the sure sign it’s mom saying, “Yes, dear. What you’re thinking right now. YES.” And that was really nice today. So, it’s a *miss* but not an absence, if that makes sense.

35. Who was the best new person you met?

This was tough this year, because I didn’t really meet many new people. Of those I did meet, Chrystal, our couples therapist, wins best new person, simply because her work is keeping us focused and hopefully married, and there’s great value to that.

36. What valuable life lesson did you learn in 2013?

Eh, it’s not up to me to fix everything. When something doesn’t work, it’s not necessarily my fault. Perfectionism is overrated. And there’s a lot more in life that’s just worth enjoying, outright. Because it’s over sooner than we probably predict.

37. What song lyrics sum up your year?

“Punching in a Dream” by The Naked and Famous.

All the lights go down as I crawl into the spaces
If I died on the screens
Life tearing at the seams

Way-yay-yay-yay-yay
I don’t ever wanna be here
Like punching in a dream
Breathing life into my nightmare

If it falls apart I would surely wake it
Bright lights turn me clean
This is worse than it seems

I don’t ever wanna be here
Like punching in a dream
Breathing life into my nightmare

They’ll get through
They’ll get you
In the place that you feel it the most
When you’re cornered
When it’s forming
In the place that you wish was a ghost

I don’t ever wanna be here
Like punching in a dream
Breathing life into my nightmare