2012 in Questions

(See also 2011 in Questions, 2010 in Questions, 2009 in Questions, 2008 in Questions, 2007 in Questions, 2006 in Questions, 2005 in Questions, and 2004 in Questions.)

(Click any thumbnail to enbiggen.)

1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?

Choose pole dancing as my primary form of fitness, frolic, and fun. Travel to more places in one year than ever before. Buy sunglasses that cost more than $7.95. Celebrate three Streamys nominations for Bite Me. Conduct 52 weekly mentorship *and* 48 weekly curriculum calls for our online student body. Open a store.

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2. Did you keep your 2012 resolutions? Will you make resolutions for 2013?

As always, I make no resolutions, but instead invite things into my life for the new year. The only two things on my “Welcome 2012” list that didn’t come were my house and my puppies. That’s okay, because I got way more than I had put *on* that list, and that, somehow, is even better. As for 2013, I’ll leave space for a house and puppies, but I’m also okay if those don’t come. As my girl Lisa told me over coffee earlier this year, “It’s not like you live in a shanty lean-to in the sticks.” True. I live at the beach. I am safe and happy and whole. And sometimes my kitties act like puppies, so… there’s that. 😉

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3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

It’s been rainin’ babies up in here. Dear GAWD! Cousin Faith brought her bundle of joy into the world just ten days after my visit with her in New York (one of several visits, this year), *both* of my graphic designers gave birth this year — Shelley and Chari (whoa! That made me nervous to work on the books, since everyone else on the job was procreating), Robin welcomed another baby, as did Georgina, and Chil and Erin had one too, from what I’ve heard! Next up? Beau and Camille. So freakin’ excited for them!

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4. Did anyone close to you die?

No one super close, but within circles. Family: Great Aunt Lucille. People I’ve cast: Ernest Borgnine and Kathy Joosten. High school and industry colleague: Brian Gerber. And the most wonderful woman at Breakdown Services, Susan Marsh. 🙁

5. What countries did you visit?

Just this one, but I zigzagged all over it most of the year, bringing SMFA to the beautiful people and doing amazing work with SAG Foundation in locals all over. So good!

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6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?

Better health. Apparently, working this hard for this long — plus pushing the bod beyond its logical limits due to pole and living across from a construction site — has its downside. For 2013, I pledge to give myself way more downtime. I’ve earned it.

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7. What date from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory and why?

March 3rd, the day I started pole. Who would’ve thought I’d go in that day, then end up hitting sometimes four 90-minute (600 calorie) classes per week? Who would’ve thought I’d flip my body upside down and hold on with my legs while flying? Who would’ve thought I’d invest in booty shorts and a home pole and private lessons while traveling? I will always measure my life in “before pole” and “after pole.” No doubt.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Inverting. I’m not kidding. I’d love to say that all the things I built in the name of SMFA or all the trust issues I fortified in my most intimate relationships were big — and they were, of course — but it’s that I never thought I’d flip my body upside down and fly on the pole. This was a big “mind over matter” year, and I did a lot of good work, bringing my physical body into a totally different space than it had ever occupied. For someone who never really focuses too much on the physical, but instead lives in a space of brain and achievement and spirit and soul, I’d have to say getting down with the bod in a new way was some pretty big stuff.

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9. What was your biggest failure?

No failure. Only lessons. Failure is stopping. I don’t do that.

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10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Sadly, yes. I was pretty dang sick or laid out this year, several times. I think something about picking up an extreme sport as a hobby after the age of 41 and living across from a construction site had something to do with that.

11. Whose behavior merited celebration?

So many of my students, friends, and colleagues did so many brave things this year. Probably, my Ninja Assistant Daniele wins the prize for most ridiculous amount of growth and beautiful shifts in her sense of self. I’ve been inspired by so many brave things my SMFA ninjas have done this year: Move to LA, book work a tier above, connect with creative collaborators, declare no more excuses on getting to work (and TURNING PRO). But no doubt, Dani gave me many reasons to ***BUTTDANCE*** this year.

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12. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

In a year of Kony, Penn State, Chick-fil-A, “legitimate rape,” “binders of women,” cannibal man, Newtown, Trayvon Martin, and Honey Boo Boo, it’s tough to choose a frontrunner for shaking my head. I tend not to celebrate pain (any more than my bad habits may allow), so I’m just gonna say I’m thrilled the negatives were mere blips on the proverbial radar, vs. the steady stream of awesome that was 2012, in my life.

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13. Where did most of your money go?

For the business, of course, it was stuff like getting bonded, bringing people on payroll, investing in technical upgrades for our online course offerings, mailing list management, our CPA, renting space for our in-person classes, travel all over the country (yikes, that’s expensive), and things that are just must-do items when you’re leaving the mom-and-pop days behind. Personally, probably rent, still, but outside of that, it’s gotta be pole. Yup, really. Classes, privates, wardrobe, wrist supports, grip aid, home pole, tickets to pole exhibitions, downloads of new music for choreography, epsom salts, arnica, all sorts of joint-health supplements and such, massages and chiropractic adjustments to work out the kinks of putting an old, overweight bod through all this… and oh, I regret none of it. Good money spent, as was the travel money and the rent and the business-growing. No regrets on any of it. It’s just stuff. 🙂

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14. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Growing Team Cricket Feet. Holy cats. We brought on *multiple* ninjas, on payroll, long-term, and oh, man, the productivity that comes with making big leaps of faith and staying the course? Truly amazing. I’m so grateful for every member of our rockstar team, and for those who have put in work hours in exchange for coaching, we can’t wait to bring you on for pay as well. Man, this is a good time!

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15. What song will always remind you of 2012?

Gosh, there are so many, because the world of pole opened me up to styles of music that previously weren’t in my life. And, like with most things, I like to go deep, when I get into something. So, I could list a zillion songs, but it’s Too Close by Alex Clare that stuck in my brain almost as much as all the cool mash-ups from Pitch Perfect (THE best movie of the year; see below), and that will always bring me right back to my first, confident, badass flight on the spinning pole at The Pole Garage during freestyle.

16. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder?

Eh. The end of the year is such a shitty time to do this, because it’s when I’m low due to how high I set my standards for what I’ll achieve in my life, coupled with the anniversary of my mom’s death. I’ll say I’m about the same, overall, even if I’m less than “rainbow-pooping unicorns” right this second. Ask me at my birthday. That’s when I really take stock.

b) thinner or fatter?

Here’s what’s fun: EVERY person I see who cares to comment loves to tell me how amazing I look, since taking on pole. Without question, I’m sizes below where I was this time last year, and every single thing on my body is in a different place than it was before. With all the traveling I did this year, I went from being all, “Ooh, don’t look at me while I take off my jacket and show you my bare arms as I go through the TSA screening,” to, “Oh, you’d like to check out my fucking gorgeous guns? HAPPY to show you my arms, people. Got a pole I can flip on, while I’m here? I can hit that!” I stopped weighing myself mid-year because even though I had to buy all new clothes for my new bod and everyone said things like, “Wow! You’ve lost like, what? 30 pounds?!” the truth of it was much less impressive, and I decided I don’t care about those numbers. I’m fit. I’m strong. I can flip and fly. That’s badass.

c) richer or poorer?

Growth management is an interesting concept and it’s one I have to keep the faith about, when I get worried. We took on more expenses than ever, to grow our business, and some of that was pretty dang ambitious. It was based on an early spike in our new programs and I’m so glad we didn’t punk out, panic, and STOP flowing money into systems and personnel. We’re back on the upswing here at year-end, which is awesome. Not worried. It always works out beautifully, if we’ll just enjoy the ride.

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17. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Relax. I had quite a few moments (in tears, sometimes screaming) asking the universe (and Keith) why it is that I’ve worked so hard to create my life as it now stands, only to work harder than EVER before. I thought the point of reaching this tier was to be able to ease off on the work a bit. To rest some. To relax. Nope. Apparently, if you’re me, a tier jump just means you’re responsible for more people, and therefore the pressure is greater. I think surviving growth may be the most ninja of processes.

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18. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Hmm… sleep? See, that’s weird, because I actually GET that my wish to relax more is something that is sometimes achieved by getting more sleep. But as someone who — since age 15 — slept three hours for every 30 awake until about four years ago, that I now sometimes sleep NINE hours in one night kinda freaks me out. I used to be so productive, mainly, because I got an extra day every week! These days, I get the normal number of days in my weeks. This “normalness” displeases me. Luckily, I’m still pretty dang productive. 😉

19. How will you be spending Christmas?

Apparently, writing this post! 😉 Spent the morning sleeping in (see above), then the day working on eProf classes, watching TiVo’ed episodes of whatever, and now enjoying a vodka soda while writing this year-end thingy. Ho, ho, ho!

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20. Did you fall in love in 2012?

Yes. Too many times.

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21. What was your favorite TV program?

Totally Biased with W. Kamau Bell. Brilliance. Unbridled political discussion. Humor. Tall, beautiful man hosting. Bonus points for our meeting on the streets of Manhattan, my tweeting about that encounter, and having him tweet back. Totally Swooned.

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22. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Hate is for amateurs.

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23. What was the best book you read?

Not surprisingly, the latest from Steven Pressfield, Turning Pro. Goddess Louise (see below) brought me her copy on one of my trips to New York this year and I read part of it there, the rest at Burke Williams while forcing myself to relax, take stock, and get lined up with where I’m headed. More DDA, here. It’s a never-ending process.

24. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Dubstep. I’ll admit, I wasn’t aware of this genre (see: born in 1970 and no longer working in radio). But goodness did it get me inspired, as I watched pole routines being done to it (and then tried some), and of course, the best So You Think You Can Dance number of the season (okay, okay, ONE of the best).

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25. What did you want and get?

More time in New York. Abs I can see. A higher ass. Leaner legs. Better upper-body strength than ever. More opportunities to work with more people, worldwide. To look at houses with our Realtor. Lots of soaks in the day spa. The chance to learn from every life experience, knowing it’s always about growth and progress and giving space to anything that feels more structured than that, sometimes.

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26. What did you want and not get?

The house. The puppies. The next edition of Self-Management for Actors in print. All on its way. “On God’s time, not mine.”

27. What was your favorite film of this year?

While The Avengers was wonderful, it’s Pitch Perfect, hands down. I was so freakin’ giddy, the whole movie. It’s like Bring It On meets Stomp the Yard meets Glee. So much goodness. Bought the soundtrack immediately. Got the DVD with download code for Christmas, so I could watch it multiple ways, repeatedly. Have watched it probably eight times in a week. My go-to for “I need to put a good song in my head” is always one of the mash-ups from that movie. Well done, Elizabeth Banks. You’re cool.

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28. What did you do on your birthday? How old were you?

Y’know, I worked. We held our weekly group phone call for Six Weeks To LA and I did a private coaching session with an actor in Chicago that night, via Skype. Hung out with Keith and Quinn. Played on the home pole. Simple stuff. I turned 42, which is a favorite number of mine! 😉 Oh, but then the next day — as is tradition at The Pole Garage — I got a lapdance from eight of the sexiest ladies on the planet. Oh, it’s good to have a birthday!

29. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

I wanna say a paint job for the TicTac (she turned 23 this year), but because we’re located across the street from a major construction site (have been for 14 months, will be for another six) — which may not only be a part of my health issues this year but also definitely is a part of my car’s paint job quality at present — there’s no point to take that on ’til they’re done and we can keep her “brand new” for a bit. 🙂 I know it’s weird that I say THIS would’ve made me “immeasurably more satisfied” this year, but because we donated Keith’s car (“The Money Pit”) to charity this year and that means more time logged in my old baby car than usual, I was just constantly aware of what little fixes she has earned for all her years of good service. And those little things are not to be scoffed at, I believe. Oh, if I had to choose something else, it’d be the ability to fly first class every trip. 😉 Yeah, I did that occasionally, as some trips were so affordable that an upgrade was EASY to do, but if I could roll like that all the time? Niiiiice. Kickin’ it Uber style… all the time? Yeah. That’s nice.

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30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?

It got a little interesting this year. Bought some low-rise jeans, some fancy heels, plunging but “grown-up” tops in bright colors, and a ton of fun rings from a cool li’l shop in New York. Colored my hair dark and added some layers (called it my “NY ‘do”). Of course, I also bought all sorts of leg-warmers, booty shorts, and workout gear for my pole classes. That I got to the point where I would leave the house in a miniskirt or shorts to go to class? That’s crazy! NEVER thought that would happen.

31. What kept you sane?

Theta healing, Goddess Louise (see below), massages, chiropractic adjustments, soaks in the hot tub, twirls around the pole, bubble baths, cocktails, laughs, a network of ninjas, and my team of Ninja Angels at Cricket Feet World Headquarters every week.

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32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Okay… this is gonna sound weird and it’s only because I *just* watched this documentary, but it’s Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Yes. You read that correctly. I have no interest in wrestling (despite having worked with Glacier this year), I’ve never done more than watch a season of American Gladiator back in the early ’90s, and I’m not a fan of “The Rock” as an actor. But as a brand? Hoo, boy! Does he know what he’s doing! More importantly, he knew what he was doing from jump. Watching the story of how he let the buyers TELL HIM what they valued in him, walked toward that, then taught them what HE wanted to do is the basis for so much of what I teach. Freakin’ love this. Oh, y’know, and the Obama family rocked my world this year, but I try not to go political with this answer too often. 😉

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33. What political issue stirred you the most?

The union merger, actually. 🙂 Of course, I voted in our local elections. I voted in the presidential election. I hoped that the “kill porn in Van Nuys” bill wouldn’t pass and that gay marriage would, and all that jazz. Yes. Of course! But having been a member of performers’ unions since 1993 and having voted on merger attempts SEVERAL times, it was a delight to see this one go through. Phew! No more actor vs. actor undercutting. On-screen acting is alllllll covered in the same place. Excited to see each of these new contracts put into place.

34. Who did you miss?

My mom, as always. I know she still checks in on me. I just miss the facetime.

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35. Who was the best new person you met?

This is tough. Is it Goddess Louise, whom I actually “met” online in 2011 but whose space I got to share, physically, several times in 2012? Her space in my brain, in my heart, in my soul is HUGE. She has helped me elevate my game, she has helped me honor my path, she has given me encouragement when I feel “less than,” and she has held up a mirror for me that I probably never could’ve seen, without her. Is it Ninja Amber, whom I actually met briefly at a Tweet-Up in late 2011, but who entered the world of SMFA as a student and immediately became a member of the team? She’s been my go-to for so many points of reference this year. Tech. Actors. Sexiness. Ninjosity. Is it Broadway Cassie, whose spirit inspires me every single day since the first day we shared time together in Manhattan? Or is it all my sisters at The Pole Garage? Good lord, I never thought I would need a sorority again, after my Gamma Sig days. I mean, I had it then, and I’ve had girlfriends since. And I’ve had WriteGirl. I *have* my network of females. But then there’s what happens at pole. Wow. It’s not just the vulnerability we all feel, being there, each of us conquering a move that’s hard for us but easy for someone else. It’s not just the bare skin, the sweat, the sensuality. It’s that when my life hit a roadbump unlike ever before, I had a safe place, and it was in a dark room with five poles, blaring music, and more love than I knew I needed. Kelli, Mary Grace, Drea, Valarie, Cat, Danielle, Autumn, and Jo continue to change my life. I am so very grateful that 2012 marked a period of sisterhood in my life. That’s new. I’ll take it.

bitemeposterapril2nd2012

36. What valuable life lesson did you learn in 2012?

On the road to the next tier, there are peaks and there are dips, and we tend to measure our progress during the dips rather than during the peaks. That’s some bullshit. If we take time to assess while we’re at a low point (especially if we compare our low point to someone else’s high point), we’re not giving credit to ourselves for the high points. In short, when you’ve just learned you’re down four grand from where you thought you were that day, THAT is the exact day to hire a Towncar to take you across town in ten minutes. Believe me, there is nothing good that comes from choosing to take the subway on three transfers over the course of an hour on that day to save the Towncar fare. It’s precisely when you’re feeling pretty damn low that you need to do something fancy.

brunettebonnyoct12th2012

37. What song lyrics sum up your year?

[Not surprisingly, a mash-up from Pitch Perfect.]

Seems like everybody’s got a price,
I wonder how they sleep at night,
When the sale comes first and the truth comes second,
Just stop for a minute and smile,

Everybody look to the left,
Everybody look to the right,
Can you feel that yeah,
We’re payin’ with love tonight,

It’s not about the money, money, money,
We don’t need your money, money, money,
We just want to make the world dance,
Forget about the pricetag,

It ain’t about the (ugh) cha chang cha chang,
It’s not about the (yeah) ba bling ba bling,
Want to make the world dance,
Forget about the pricetag,
(Pricetag. Forget about the pricetag.)

Hey Hey Hey Hey

Won’t you come see about me,
I’ll be alone, dancin’ you know it baby,
Tell me your troubles and doubts,
Givin’ me everything, inside and out,

Don’t you forget about me,
As you walk on by,
Will you call my name,
As you walk on by,
Will you call my name,
As you walk on by,
Will you call my name

I say la lalalala lalalala lalalala lalalala

Tonight,
I will love love you tonight,
Give me everything tonight,
For all we know we might not get tomorrow,
Let’s do it tonight,

Forget what they say,
All my cares they play,
I want you tonight,

Grab somebody sexy,
Tell them: Hey,
Give me everything tonight,
Give me everything tonight,

Take advantage of tonight
‘Cause tomorrow I’m off to do battle, perform for princess,
But tonight, I can make you my queen,
And make love to you endless,

It’s insane to wait and they ain’t growin’ money,
Keep flowin’, hustlers move beside us,
So I’m tip-toeing to keep blowing,
I got it locked down like Lindsay Lohan,

Put it on my lap, baby,
I make you feel right, baby,
Can’t promise tomorrow,
But I’ll promise tonight,

Excuse me,
But I might drink a little more than I should tonight,
And I may take you home with me if I could tonight,
(Don’t you forget about me.)
And baby I will make you feel so good tonight,
‘Cause we might not get tomorrow, tonight.

Hands up,
I put my hand up,

Don’t you forget about me,
(Party in the U.S.A.)
Tonight,

I will love love you tonight,
Give me everything tonight,
For all we know, we might not get tomorrow,
Let’s do it tonight.

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