Several times in the past week or so, I have been thanked for being so flexible. I thought I might have a column topic here, but the more I think about it, the more it’s just a blog entry. So, here it is.

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Being flexible is EASY. But, based on the number of times I’m thanked for being flexible, I’m guessing most people AREN’T flexible, and that’s why it’s so novel that I am. I look at it this way:

Our plans hold up and I see you tonight. Or. Our plans fall through and I see you some other night PLUS I now have free time I hadn’t counted on.

Sure, I could get pissy about what I *could’ve* been doing, had I known our plans wouldn’t come together a week earlier or so, but whatever! It’s SO no big deal.

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One producer was making me crazy a few projects ago, really WANTING to be right and really NEEDING to assign blame for things not having gone a certain way. “If you had just done THIS…” “Why didn’t you do THAT…” and so on. I kept responding with, “Okay, cool. How can we move forward to get the results we want NOW?” And that really frustrated this producer.

When the “You should have…” stuff kept coming, I finally said, “Great. How do we go back and make that happen NOW? Oh wait, we CAN’T. Can we move forward?” It was beyond silly to even HAVE the conversation, but truly some people can’t just MOVE ON… they need to point out flaws and make sure EVERYONE knows something went wrong somewhere.

That’s a really dick move, BTW. Let me tell you about the EXACT OPPOSITE way of dealing with someone’s mistake and how much COOLER it makes you.

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Keith shows up for the wardrobe fitting on the set of CSI: Miami earlier this week. The team recognizes him from last season and one woman says, “Oh, hi, Kevin! It’s so great to see you!” He hugs her and thanks her for the warm welcome, says it’s wonderful to be back and let’s get started, etc.

Later, she notices someone else calling him Keith.

“Wait! Your name *IS* Keith, isn’t it?!?” she asked, ashamed. “Don’t worry about it,” Keith said. “You knew you meant me. I knew you meant me. Why do I need to make you feel bad just to be right? I mean, we both knew you were talking to me every time you said ‘Kevin,’ so why point out your error?”

I love that shit.

Why, when I can just be flexible, would I need to make sure the world knows I’ve been somehow inconvenienced?

There is NOTHING inconvenient about my life. I love every bit of it. And if someone says, “Oh, this is Bonnie, our casting agent,” I don’t feel the need to say, “It’s casting director.” And if someone calls to say, “I’m not going to make it to dinner tonight. I’m so sorry,” I say, “Okay. Cool. I’ll miss you,” and head out for a meal with someone else… such a happy surprise!

I’ve got no time to go out of my way to try and make people feel bad. And I worry about people who DO. No… wait… I don’t worry about them. I avoid them. I’ve got no room in my life for that kind of drama. Life’s too damn short.


Bonnie Gillespie is living her dreams by helping others figure out how to live theirs. Wanna work with Bon? Start here. Thanks!

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11 Comments

  1. Avatar Amy August 10, 2006 at 2:07 am

    I’m all about the flexible too. I know you’ll catch up with me re: my bday at a later time. You always do when you can’t make it to something of mine…
    How do your Thursdays look between Aug 24-Sept 28? I just need you for one of them. I’m doing a show in NoHo.

    Reply
  2. Avatar Babes August 10, 2006 at 3:07 am

    Yeah, and do you ever notice that it is THOSE EXACT SAME PEOPLE who will bend over backwards to have things done for OTHER people in the exact manner and time frame they expect, and make sure they follow up ten thousand times if things change??
    And then, when we freak out, guess who we take it out on?? OURSELVES.
    Go us. We are nice! And the fact that there are so many people apparently NOT doing what we just kind of think is “normal human decency” we get parades and free stuff (well at least free stuff). Cooool.
    Good thing those other people can’t bottle us and sell us for loads of cash…because they would, and then we’d be dead or dismembered and dead. And the people who bought us would be disappointed and want their money back, and they might get their money back but we’d still be dead.

    Reply
  3. Avatar Aleta August 10, 2006 at 4:30 am

    Amen to that! Flexibility makes life so much easier and happier.

    Reply
  4. Avatar Hannah August 10, 2006 at 7:42 am

    Bon, right on! I loved your post. Flexibility makes life so much better.

    Reply
  5. Avatar communicatrix August 10, 2006 at 10:00 am

    I’m fairly flexible on most things these days, with the sole exception of someone calling me ‘whore’.
    It’s ‘slut’, goddammit. S-L-U-T…

    Reply
  6. Avatar Debra August 10, 2006 at 12:01 pm

    Amen, indeed!

    Reply
  7. Avatar Ellenlisa August 10, 2006 at 2:04 pm

    Great stuff!! Although I do hate being called by the wrong name (hee) ;-0 — happens a lot too (I get Helen, ellie, elaine, etc.) — I definitely wouldn’t make anyone feel bad about it though 🙂

    Reply
  8. Avatar Col. Hogan August 10, 2006 at 7:47 pm

    It has to do with being able to think on your feet. Some people are so flexible they can literally jump and decide how high on the way up.
    I can do that kinda, but I know people, present company included, who are far better at it than I.

    Reply
  9. Avatar Anna August 10, 2006 at 11:01 pm

    I just plain adore you!
    and that Kevin guy ain’t bad, either.
    xo

    Reply
  10. Avatar Julie August 11, 2006 at 2:00 pm

    I just wanted to mention that that yoga pose is a LOT harder than it looks.
    Ow.

    Reply
  11. Avatar Ross Burton August 11, 2006 at 7:52 pm

    ^5 Bonnie! I could NOT have typed it out any better! Exactly! Life is way, way, waaaaay too short! *Poof* I’m 29 now! *Poof* I’ll be 60 shortly! Too shortly! lol
    *muah*
    Thank you for all that you do, and for sharing all of your wisdom.
    ~drizxtik r.xs

    Reply

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