Wow. It’s so weird. I was just toodling along, going through the submissions on the film I’m casting, when BAM! Something went wonky. My emotions started flying all over the place and I couldn’t for the life of me understand what would make me so completely fly off the grid.

tnmomswedding.jpg

Ah yes. 11 May 2006 would’ve been my mother’s 73rd birthday. There ya go.

Even though it does, somehow, get less heart-wrenching each year, I guess there are going to be days when it just slices right through my heart that I had to lose my mom when I was 30.

I know, I know! I had her for THIRTY YEARS. Some daughters get nothing close to that with their moms… or if they do, they don’t have the CLOSENESS that we did. Damn, we were so so so so close. She was SUCH my best friend. And my therapist. And my mentor. And my MOM, dammit.

Ugh.

So, now that I GET why I’m suddenly a basketcase, I can get through it and continue on. Because that’s what Charlsie’s only daughter would do, right? Absofuckinglutely!

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9 Comments

  1. Avatar babes May 11, 2006 at 11:52 am

    Awww, Scat! Big hugs.
    I was just thinking late last night how it will be when my parents will, eventually die (must be that psychic energy!).
    I’m sure in a lot of ways it makes it a lot more painful that you were sooo close and to lose someone that close. But to know you had the best relationship with her you possibly could have while she was still here has to make you feel pretty fucking great.
    corny poetry time (TM) (okay I know I haven’t ever quoted poetry before (because I think it’s corny) but I’m trademarking it anyway):
    “‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”
    (I totally put the ’tis in there thinking I was being corny/extra dorky but it turns out it really is “’tis”)

    Reply
  2. Avatar PameLa May 11, 2006 at 1:20 pm

    Dearest Bon…
    Thank you so much for being ‘so open’. Precious memories that can never be taken away. I love you dear.

    Reply
  3. Avatar Erik May 11, 2006 at 7:26 pm

    BonBon, I love these pictures of you and your mom.
    Sending you big love.

    Reply
  4. Avatar Ali May 11, 2006 at 8:31 pm

    Happy birthday, Charlsie. Rest well. Send Georgia my love while you’re there.
    XOXO love you, honey

    Reply
  5. Avatar christina May 11, 2006 at 9:45 pm

    I know the worst day in my life will be the day my mother dies. I totally feel for you. And I love the pictures.

    Reply
  6. Avatar Debra May 12, 2006 at 3:52 am

    I love you, Sis.

    Reply
  7. Avatar delora May 12, 2006 at 7:22 pm

    love the pics…i can relate…but memories are forever…hugs~
    XOXO

    Reply

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