I need your advice regarding my 13-year-old daughter who is intent on becoming an award-winning actress. I would like to give her the opportunity to pursue her dream, at the same time; I understand that only one in a million actually succeed. How do we proceed down the path to stardom?
Let me break down the basic concepts within your question.
Your daughter intends to be an award-winning actress. This, of course, can be accomplished in community theatre. Most small local theatres have an award show each year to reward their volunteer actors for doing good work throughout the regular season. I assume, however, that this is not the level at which your daughter aspires to win awards (I say this, looking over at the “Best Actress in a Cameo Role” trophy I earned at age 15 in Atlanta).
You would like to support your daughter as she pursues her dream. That’s awesome. So many parents want to support and encourage their young actors’ quests without having the very realistic point of view that it is, in fact, a dream for most. It is very important that you (and your daughter) are aware of the harsh realities of pursuing a career in show business — especially in a major market like Los Angeles or New York — and that your aspirations are blended with realistic expectations.
Finally, you want to know how to follow that path to stardom. So, does your daughter want to be a star? This is quite different than a dream of being a working actor. Having started acting professionally at the age of six, I can attest to the fact that young actors often have dreams of stardom and, even while doing the hard work required to head in that direction, don’t realize exactly what’s ahead for them, on that road. I’ll never forget waking up on my 20th birthday and crying for hours. I was certain, by the time I was 20, my birthday would be announced on Entertainment Tonight. I was not consoled by the fact that I’d had wonderful speaking roles in film, television, and on the stage. I wasn’t — at that particular moment — gratified by the fact that I consistently got to do what I loved with the support of my friends and family. I wanted to be famous, dammit!
Ah, youth. I can safely say that, as always happens, what was meant to be is what became of my path to stardom. I finished college and ended up coming to LA to pursue a dream that was now built on a foundation of Journalism. And what do you know! I write for a living. My mother was right when she said, “My daughter, the writer,” no matter how much I hated hearing that as an aspiring actress!
Okay, so back to the point of your question: how do you support your dear child as she pursues her dream? The best thing you can do is to help her build a strong foundation: training, training, and more training. You can also help her understand that there are many people going after the same roles she will pursue and that there are millions of reasons for booking or not booking a role. Help her learn to enjoy the journey of performing, auditioning, and learning her craft, without putting the emphasis on booking the role or becoming famous.
If your daughter aspires to be a working actor with a passion for the work she is doing, a love of the craft, and enjoyment of the very unglamorous process that goes along with the day-to-day life of an actor, she’ll be right on track to succeed with your support and encouragement.
Keep up the great work! Parenting a young actor is a part-parent, part-manager job. Tough to balance it all, but very gratifying, in the end!
Bonnie Gillespie is living her dreams by helping others figure out how to live theirs. Wanna work with Bon? Start here. Thanks!
Originally published by Actors Access at http://more.showfax.com/columns/avoice/archives/000059.html. Please support the many wonderful resources provided by the Breakdown Services family. This posting is the author’s personal archive.