I’ve been bitching too much lately. I’ve been complaining. A lot. I’ve been seeing the negative in the world and that’s seriously not like me 90% of the time. So, it’s getting annoying (and I’m sure not just to me).
I’ve also been craving drinks. Not just drinking socially. Not just overindulging. Craving. And I can’t tell if it’s a temporary physical need that comes from an emotional desire to escape or if it’s the beginning of a problem.
But let me state for the record: I love drinking. Love it. I think it’s fun and social and cool and one of the best parts of being a responsible adult who works freelance. I’m not like a college kid who can’t wait for the weekend to go out and par-tay. I like the celebration of the every day. And I like being able to shut my brain off sometimes too.
But I’m tired of complaining. I’m tired of needing a drink to escape from the things that make me want to complain. And I’d like to give my diet and exercise regimen a chance to have some results. I remember noticing how great a friend looked after a few months of diet and exercise (I won’t out him, here) and having him counter with, “I had to take a break from drinking to really get the results I wanted.” I admired his self-discipline.
So, with just over 100 days left in the year (and remembering how I completely changed my body and my spirit in as much time eight years ago), I’m considering doing a major self-improvement campaign. I already exercise every day. I eat gluten-free and drink tons of water. I don’t drink sodas or coffee or any of those things that tend to derail people. I’m currently the healthiest I have ever been, despite being a good 50 pounds overweight. My heart, my lungs, my knees, my endurance… all outstanding. Hair and nails strong and long. Skin flawless. And I am blessed with a kick-ass hourglass figure, even though it needs to reduce by about 20%. I don’t have “problem areas.” I’m just a big girl.
Here’s the thing though. I can’t tell if I need to do a T-totaller “give up drinking for the rest of the year” thing or if I can do like I did eight years ago and give myself “reward days” every now and then (days on which I can be less strict in all areas — food, drink, exercise requirements). I kind of like the idea of forcing myself to be 100% for 100 days, but I also can’t imagine that it’s a practical expectation. What I DON’T want to do is decide to be “perfect” then choose to have a night off and turn that into an excuse (ala: “I failed. I suck. Screw it. It’s all over”).
Man! I just feel so good even imagining doing 100 perfect days. It was such an amazing thing, watching my body change when I did a 100-day campaign in ’98 (note: I did not do 100 “perfect” days back then… but I also had a very different lifestyle, being a full-time PhD student at the time).
What to do, what to do? Hmm. I guess I’ll just start with one day and see how that feels. I guess I’m blogging about this as a way of holding my feet to the fire (although I can already tell I’ll get annoyed by questions of, “Hey, how’s that 100-day thing going?” if things AREN’T going well… so, I’m not sure what my plan is. Maybe I don’t have a plan. Maybe I’m looking for suggestions? Hell… I’m just glad I’m not bitching in this entry. I am sooooooo over the complaining. That is a BAD habit, for sure).