Actor Self-Sabotage

I so enjoy your articles each week and thought I would share a funny experience I had today at an audition. I went in for a supporting role on a feature film. I had received the audition notice 2-1/2 weeks prior to the date of the audition. The casting director had the sides posted on all available sites for sides (they even sent me a email notice of an updated version) and provided access to the script online and one on file in the casting office. I took full advantage of my resources and went to work. Long story short… after auditioning, another actor comes to me and says, “Do you know anything about the script?” I was shocked. I’m nice, so I shared my thoughts about the script and wished my fellow actor luck. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this one!

Oh, another lovely issue of actor prep! That’s just so funny! Let me start by commending you for sharing so graciously. Most actors will focus on the fact that they’re in a competitive environment and choose not to help anyone who could benefit so much as to keep them from getting the gig. So, I love that you were nice enough to help out (and I also share your shock over folks who choose not to prep themselves using the material we put out there for them). Of course, you know that there is nothing you could’ve said that would make the difference in the way casting was going to go. The help you provided certainly didn’t make or break your chances (or the chances of the other actor). The fact that you did weeks of prep would always make a difference in the room, when compared with someone who did maybe two minutes of prep.

That said, I completely understand that you were surprised that another actor didn’t take advantage of the many ways in which the CD was trying to help with the prep process. It’s one of the things that I say when I speak to groups of actors: “I’m a former actor. That means two things to you. One: I’m always going to try to provide you with the most actor-friendly experience possible. Two: I know the deal. You’re not going to get away with crap and pull the, “You don’t understand! It’s so tough being a delicate flower (AKA an actor). I couldn’t possibly subject my inner fragile artist to rigors of preparation and self-management!” Yeah, right. Get over yourself.

I like seeing actors share their toys. I’ve seen some of the most competitive actors do better when they begin to open up to other actors (about auditions, sources for information, setting up meetings with agents for them, etc.). Being competitive does not equal “being closed.” Sure, there may be a time or two that you see an actor with whom you shared information getting the role (and you may feel like you handed it to him), but I encourage you to stay good at sharing. That behavior has benefits beyond the ones you may expect.

Now, on to the real problem here: Actor Self-Sabotage. Seems to me the actor you met in the waiting room was setting up a scenario in which it would be “okay” to not get the part. I remember behaving like this in college. I would stay out all night when I knew I had a paper due, come back to the dorm at 5am, type up something “decent,” and hand it in at my morning class, crossing my fingers for a B. When I’d get an A-, I would be thrilled, knowing I could’ve gotten an A+, had I not partied. And when I’d get a C, I’d have an excuse (seeing as I’d really bailed on the assignment and knew I’d not done my best).

Actors do that all the time. They under-prepare so that there’s an excuse when they don’t get a callback. They sabotage their chances at excelling so there’s a reason when they don’t excel. And they never have to feel as though they need to improve their craft or worry that they simply “didn’t cut it,” if they aren’t cast. It’s a great coping strategy put firmly in place before there’s anything to cope with. And it’s something that helps under-confident actors handle the fact that they’re participating in a line of work that has a 95% failure rate, every day. This is the same sort of trick actors pull when they apologize for a bad audition. They’re trying to say, “I can do better,” and building in an excuse for anything that might not work. What they’re actually doing is sabotaging themselves as they head down that lonely road toward Bitter-ville. Wave to them as they pass by. You won’t see them at many more auditions. They’re setting themselves up to have an excuse to leave town, bitter that the industry is filled with evil people out to make a buck and leave artists empty. Good. Let ’em go. I like our worldview better anyway.


Bonnie Gillespie is living her dreams by helping others figure out how to live theirs. Wanna work with Bon? Start here. Thanks!


Originally published by Actors Access at http://more.showfax.com/columns/avoice/archives/000303.html. Please support the many wonderful resources provided by the Breakdown Services family. This posting is the author’s personal archive.

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