I'm a pretty dang decisive person. Always have been.
Chalk it up to Libra moon and Libra rising. I'm really good at weighing out options, pros/cons listing like the best of 'em, and ultimately playing it fair.
And then sometimes a decision stumps me.
I suddenly doubt my logical decision-making process. I second-guess my gut. I find myself wanting to know what anyone else would do were they in my shoes.
Do you do this?
Check with everyone else to be sure — really, really sure — you're making the right choice?
The thing is, this doesn't have to be a BIG decision! It can be — and often is — something minor that gets overthought, oversurveyed, outsourced, and maybe eventually never even decided upon at all. Analysis paralysis.
I was in such a loop not too long ago and I got so out of sorts about a decision that no matter how many pros/cons lists I made, convos with trusted advisors I had, "what if"-ing the scenarios I did, I couldn't get one choice or the other to sit right with me.
So, I took to Twitter. I wrote down each choice on a piece of paper and labeled each A and B. Without disclosing which was which, I asked Twitter to help me make a decision. As the @ replies came in, I tallied them on that piece of paper.
Now, before you think I'm telling you that I let Twitter make a decision for me without even knowing what the choices were, I'm not.
In fact, I ended up making a decision that was opposite what the "votes" said I should.
Because here's what happened: As the responses came in, I felt myself saying, "Yay!" when B was chosen. I noticed, if someone I truly adored responded with a B, I felt buoyed in confidence. And when a beloved mentor chose A, I was disappointed that I had chosen wrong.
Keep in mind: I hadn't chosen at this point!
Before the Twitter survey, I actually had NO frontrunner in this decision. I literally COULD NOT decide between the two options.
But as the count increased in favor of A, I felt myself growing disappointed.
Holy crap. I wanted to choose B.
What is it that made it so I couldn't figure that out on my own? Why is it that no amount of work I'd done on this topic before choosing to do some totally random Twitter survey led me to a favorite?
Ah… some decisions? We're too damn close to. We actually cannot get a handle on a preference.
Now, I'm not suggesting you run around hosting random survey parties in which those who help you make the choice have no idea what the choices are (or even what the issue itself may be) on every topic! But on things that just won't seem to align with your heart, spirit, mind, or gut? Try it out!
Your agent has a favorite headshot of yours. Your manager has another favorite. And your acting coach loves still another. Meanwhile, you asked me during a coaching session and you know I'm partial to this one over here. And you're so dang tired of looking at your own face that you'd give anything to just have someone else tell you which ONE shot is the right one to use as your primary one on the casting submission sites. Hey… looks like it's time for a multiple choice survey!
Without letting anyone know which number represents which photo, ask 'em to pick a number between 1 and 4. Soon, you'll feel yourself getting "tugged" when a particular shot is NOT in the lead.
If you truly cannot decide, this tactic will offer unexpected clarity. Because it's something forced upon you… and sometimes our reaction to what we DON'T want to be TOLD to do is far stronger than the call of what we WANT to do.
Ooh… good stuff.
Three quickies (two for Los Angeles-based rockstars and one for the whole wide world): Our pilot season SMFA Retreat is Saturday the 21st. Homework goes out tomorrow. Register NOW if you want one of these last three spots! Next, I'm doing headshot coaching again with the Headshot Truck in Santa Monica on February 4th. Schedule your shoot and score your discounted coaching sesh for the best headshots ever! Finally, our awesomely badass FREE quarterly SMFA Tune-Up call is Wednesday the 11th and you can still sign up here. This is gonna be SO much fun! Please join in as we celebrate this amazing journey we're on together and get all your questions answered LIVE! Woo hoo!
Okay, beautiful, that's it for today! I'd love to know how your decision-making process flows with this A/B randomizer. Yeah, back when I was making that important decision for which I surveyed Twitter I could've just flipped a coin, but it's the "other people's opinion" factor that makes this method so dang powerful and clear. Yeah, I know… just last week I talked about killing off everyone you know to be sure you're not making your life choices based on what others think you should do. This is why you're glad you actually kept 'em around. 😉 They provide useful in situations like this. Hee hee!
Rock on, rockstar! I'll be back atcha with some news about our totally updated SMFA Show Sheet (yes, my free SMFA Hot Sheet with all the shows actively casting and in development, network by network, platform by platform) soon. Man, pilot season is off to a BIG start! You ready?
Bonnie Gillespie is living her dreams by helping others figure out how to live theirs. Wanna work with Bon? Start here. Thanks!