Last week, I was talking to a new friend about an issue we both — sorry, let’s be honest, an issue we all — have faced: Getting hurt.

I explained to her my philosophy in dealing with getting hurt. It’s a two-parter.

1. If the person doing the hurting is a true friend, I consider his or her intention and don’t focus on the words. I do this because a true friend never intends to hurt us, even if the words chosen might do so.

2. If the person doing the hurting is not a friend, I never look at his or her intention (because that’s clear). Instead, I focus on the words, because without the intention attached, those words become very easy to deflect.

My new friend took that in and — apparently — really applied this philosophy to her life. When we next talked, she told me it had an impact and had healed some issues (and quickly) that had been festering for a while.

I’m good at compartmentalizing. It’s how I get so much done. It’s also how I maintain amazing, lifelong, beautiful friendships while keeping business business. And if you hurt me and leave me, it’s why I’ll forgive you when you come back around. If you’re a true friend, I know your intention was never to hurt me. And if that was your intention, your status was never “true friend” to begin with. And that’s okay too. It’s just a different place in my compartmentalized life.

Bonnie Gillespie is living her dreams by helping others figure out how to live theirs. Wanna work with Bon? Start here. Thanks!