Here for the Right Reasons

Here for the Right Reasons: Q&A with This Season’s Loser
by Bachelor Fantasy League
week of April 02, 2010

This posting is the author’s personal archive. Originally published by Bachelor Fantasy League at https://herefortherightreasons.wordpress.com/2010/04/02/qa-with-this-seasons-loser.

Bribing the Commish, the power of bedding producers, and Buzz Aldrin! It’s all part of Bonnie G.’s answers to the Here for the Right Reasons Loser’s Circle Questionnaire:

COMMISSIONER: I understand this is the first time you watched THE BACHELOR series in its eight very long years on the air. Please give me your reaction to the show in the first ten (unrelated) words that pop into your head.

BONNIE G.:
roses
googly eyes
wine
whine
“cry, woman”
wings
abs
schmaltz

C: Do you believe Jake has found his soulmate in Vienna? As you watched the show, did you feel–despite the formula and the ever-present cameras–that Jake was actually falling for several women at once?

BG: I hate to be a cynic (no, I don’t, actually), but I can’t imagine that Jake has found his soulmate. I mean, there’s a lot of chemistry (and booze) flowin’ on these reality show sets, for sure, and that’s great TV. Definitely, there’s attraction happening. There’s something building. But if Jake *has* found his soulmate, I think that’ll take time to know for sure. And maybe another contract with ABC for the rights to the ever-developing story.

C: If you were Jake, who would have gotten the final rose?

BG: Hmm… I had Elizabeth picked to win. And truly, she would’ve been really good TV, if Jake could’ve kept her teasin’ ass on the show a little longer. She also had fab fashion sense. I think Rozlyn–who was also one of my picks–would’ve been a great choice because she obviously knows how to sleep with producers, which is essential to success in the entertainment industry. Based on who the last two standing were, I’d have gone with Vienna, which Jake did, just because her googly eyes captivate me. And Jake, obviously.

C: How will your strategy change for next season, now that you’re a little more familiar with the show?

BG: I will do a little more research before choosing my team. I mean, for cryin’ out loud, the info was OUT THERE that Rozlyn was being kicked off the very next episode, and I stuck by my guns and kept her in my list because I had this wild idea that the reality show formula was going to be rocked to its core with a mid-season return to the show by ousted Rozlyn, to whom Jake would propose on the spot! I’ll also ask my best male girlfriend to help me make my list next time. I also may bribe the commissioner with New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc.

C: Vienna: Hooker with a heart of gold or snaky stealth bomber?

BG: Hooker with a heart of gold. A snaky stealth bomber would have much more subtle weave tracks.

C: Jake Pavelka: Kill, fuck, or marry?

BG: Ooh, I can never do this for just one person. I have to have two other candidates to assign to the other tasks, in order to force my hand. So… let’s say the three candidates are Jake Pavelka, Chad Ochocinco, and Buzz Aldrin (all current ABC Dancing with the Stars stars). I’d kill Jake, shag Ochocinco, and marry Buzz (Anna-Nicole style). Astronauts make millions, right?

C: Bonnie, you are wedded, you know what it’s all about. If Jake and Vienna make it, what advice do you give them for a long and prosperous union? Do you think these two are capable of a lifelong commitment?

BG: Ah, the one thing I know for sure, being a wedded type, is that it’s all about making choices–both of you–every day to walk together, not away from one another. And that’s on the little things as much as the big things. Many people make the mistake of assuming their lives will change forever once they say, “I do.” Nope. Your life is exactly the same, if you married someone you’re meant to be with. You’re just as happy before the commitment is sealed as after. You’re dealing with the same issues before and after you have that piece of paper. Knowing you’re committed doesn’t–or shouldn’t–change your love for one another, because being committed should be the prerequisite for MAKING the commitment of marriage. I think one of the reasons a lot of marriages end is due to unrealistic expectations of what life’s gonna be like, once you’re hitched. If you’re in a really great relationship, getting hitched changes nothing. Except now you pretty much have to let the guy feel you up now and then. And, bonus! Vienna gets to be flown around in the fancy airplane in exchange for that over-the-sweater action.

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Thank you Bonnie G. for accepting HFTRR’s defeat with the grace of Tenley, beauty of Gia, and brilliance of Chris Harrison. Jake would be flustered with pride.

Love, Commissioner
Tags: Bonnie Gillespie, Jake Pavelka, Loser, The Bachelor, Vienna

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1. NN Says:
April 2, 2010 at 11:04 am | Reply

very entertaining ladies. this was a perfect companion to my coffee.

2. Bon Says:
April 2, 2010 at 12:34 pm | Reply

The brilliance of Chris Harrison? I’m slappin’ that tagline on my resumé, Commish! Thank you! 🙂 This whole thing was loads of fun and I’m so grateful to Anna C. for bringing me into the mix. Bring on next season (AKA the season in which I WIN)!

3. Dana Wilson Says:
April 2, 2010 at 1:18 pm | Reply

I really liked the sentiment about marriage, I thought it was very wise. Smart words from a LOSER. JK it’s all random, I picked my ladies out of a hat.

4. sue u Says:
April 4, 2010 at 6:53 am | Reply

I had Elizabeth to win as well and Vienna was on my team but I never thought she would make it past the 4th round of roses. Still cant believe it.

Did ya’ll notice Gia sitting next to Viena opening night on DWS?

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