Let me start by saying that I am both overwhelmed and inspired by the emails generated by the question I asked a few weeks back: “What did you learn in 2008?” You fine folks are so very generous and open about the steps along your journey — the confident and healthy steps and the stumbles and lessons alike — and I’m again reminded how wonderful the creative people who pursue acting can be.

So, thank you for sharing the stories (far, far more content than I could ever put into this week’s column) that led to these lessons. Your experiences ranged from having been scammed to having discovered a new source of passion for your career choice. From having landed on the cutting room floor to having won your first Ovation Award. From plugging in with a new acting coach to producing your own short film. All of the stories were delightful to read… and led to these lessons. Here we go!

Work Begets Work

I remember a very fond conversation with one of my professors, Stephen McKinley Henderson, in which he ended a story about his acting career by casually imparting one last nugget of knowledge to me: “Work gets you work.” I no longer believe: “You’re only as good as your last gig.” This last year and a half has been very good to me, and I couldn’t be more grateful to be able to do some good work. (And to promote said work on my website!) In the summer of 2008, I was cast in a short film that never ended up getting filmed. However, the entire cast had been assembled for the first reading, and one cast member was a man I had worked with on a community theatre production four years ago. He had written a short film script of his own, with me in mind to play the lead role. That was so flattering; and how could I say no? Every time something like this pops up, I think about my teacher’s words. — Bryan Patrick Stoyle

I learned not to be too quick to say “no” to myself when it comes to choosing whether to audition or not for a specific role (especially when there seems to be an endless supply of people already out there willing and ready to say “no” for you). While it’s important to be selective about the roles we audition for, I learned not to reject myself too quickly and for reasons that may be mine alone. If a role “calls” to you, go for it and let someone else do the choosing. — Steve Voldseth

I learned this year that even the smallest projects hold the opportunity for future work. I did a last-minute short film for a student at UCLA Extension in February, and at the end of the shoot gave him my headshot to take back to his teacher. I’ve gotten emails from at least four of that teacher’s current students in the past two months looking for actors for their own projects, and have already filmed two student films for them. Even better, the copy from the original student film turned out great, and it will definitely be included when I meet with an editor this week to update my reel. — Derek Houck

I learned again that creating your own work has multiple rewards! Quick partial list: A completed project (Your art!), people seeing your art (Sometimes many!), work begets work, inertia, momentum, another new circle of friends and contacts, great fulfillment and sense of accomplishment, festivals (with more contacts, including like-minded folk to work on your next one, etc., people seeing your film, industry), and reel material.

Whenever I’m in the space of doing my own work — and yeah, I’ve gone long periods of “just thinking about it” where the opposite happens — more and more work seems to come my way. — Bill Lippincott

I learned there is absolute truth in the quote: “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”

I have been in this industry under the radar for years but once I got my green card I decided I had to kick it up a notch and evaluate my commitment to my craft. What was the difference between me and someone I see on television or in films on a regular basis? I thought long and hard and realized one thing actors can do to themselves is: “Act like they are working hard.” And I realized maybe hard work is, well, hard! And if I want this badly enough I need to work harder than I had in my life. I researched the professionals I admire and I learned what the difference between them and me was… a-ha! They worked hard everyday, it wasn’t talent, it was preparation.

Suddenly I had more time in my day for research, memorization, dialect training, voice work, development. If I want to be up there with those professionals, I need to have the willpower to really work hard in ways I had never known including my one issue which is memorization. Every waking moment, I decided I could be memorizing. Even when doing background work on an 16-hour night shift, I was pulling out my sides for the audition the next day and I’d read them 200 times marking each time on the page. Why? I heard Anthony Hopkins does and he’s a professional. I memorized my lines over and over and over until I could say them backwards, waking up in the middle of the night to get it into my body. Why? I read Robert Downy Jr. does and he’s a talent I admire.

The test of my new commitment to the work happened when I met with a primetime casting director. She told me she’d seen those scenes over 1000 times but she watched me like it was the first time. She was exhilarated by my scenes and she was excited about me. And to quote her, “You were made to do Aaron Sorkin’s work.” Yes, I was. Because I had made myself be ready for his work by all preparation I had done. And I knew I had earned that moment through being honest with myself and putting in the hard work. Really hard work. Here’s to 2009 and my new perspective on what preparation really means. Now, let the opportunities come! — Helene Taylor

What I learned in 2008 is that our business is delicate and something like a strike can have a devastating effect on actors like me who work but who aren’t famous. (What am I saying? Everyone knows Adria Tennor!) It makes producers less likely/able to offer work to unknowns, and instead star-stud and stunt-cast their few guest/supporting roles. But, I learned to go with the ebb and flow, and — during the downtime — write and make my own work so that I can continue to be fulfilled creatively and have something to show for myself. — Adria Tennor

Building Relationships

I would say the most important thing I learned this year would be: It’s all about building relationships and a network of people. My circle has really been closing just this past year of people I know who now know the people I’ve who now know me and reverse. Wait, does that make sense? Needless to say I know some people! — Karla Guy

I learned that CD workshops are not all evil.

Until very recently, I was totally against paying to meet a CD, but this past month, I decided to just get over myself and accept that this was part of the industry. So I made a target list of exactly who I wanted to meet. I did the research and found the right workshop. I prepared my scene, prepared my questions, and had a fantastic experience at the workshop. And I learned so much. I left feeling more in control of my career and confident in how to take it to the next level.

If one is specific about who they want to meet and what they want to get out of the experience, I now believe that CD workshops can be an excellent career investment. (And I am almost shocked to see myself write this!) — Tara Gadomski

The most important thing I got from this past year was that the art and business of acting are two separate hats. The artist’s mind is the creative type, and the businessman’s mind is more or less the analytical type. As and actor/businessman one has to be good at both. Most important part of my “acting” is: My type shows very clearly when dialogue is not acted. In other words, just say the lines and your essence shows up. Hard to get there, but easy to do when you “get it.” As for the business side: I realize that we are running a contacting business. We are always out looking to contract another deal for our acting services. It’s not magic. — Drew Falcone

Avoiding Actor Mind Taffy

I learned that we are meaning-making machines. We tack meaning onto everything in life, and half the time it’s in a way that is in no way of help to us (i.e.: What does it mean that they didn’t call me back? What does it mean, that look the CD gave me in the room? What does it mean that the CD kept putting me off past my audition time when I’ve been sitting waiting for an hour and there are plenty of guys I could be reading with? — I can tell you exactly what it means. In order, it means: They haven’t called you back yet, they gave you a look in the room, and they kept you past your audition time. That’s it. Those are the simple facts).

When we start to interpret and put our own spin on the facts, we can fall in a hole. It’s all well and good to maybe give yourself a few ideas as to what it could be, but don’t invest in any of them — especially to your detriment — until you find out what it really does mean on the part of the other person. Sure, the person who didn’t call you back could be avoiding you, but they could also be out of town. The look the CD gave you in the room could have nothing to do with you so much as them remembering something else they were supposed to do and had forgotten until your presence reminded them of it, and the CD keeping you outside the room could just dislike you or they could be waiting for the ideal person they want you to be seen with who’s running late. You’ll just never know, so give up letting the little voice in your head take over. (Which is different from instinct, your instinct is usually bang on, the little voice is always negative and it takes practice to separate the two and learn to listen to the one over the other.) — Marsha Mason

I learned that an actor can only do his/her best work when relaxed, confident and prepared. — Vince Jordan

What I learned in 2008: Getting back to having fun at every audition, regardless of any excuses that could allow it to be a downer. When you make it about that, and not focusing on getting the job, it’s beautiful.

Also thinking outside the box for submissions really helps. I emailed my website to several up and coming composers offering to sing for their next project if they ever needed extra voices. I just auditioned for one today, and have heard back from a few others. Be proactive but not a nuisance! — Adam Kern

Business Decisions

I learned to love the business of the business. Now I approach my career with strategy, consistency, and a certain amount of emotional detachment. I really feel like I am running my own successful business. In fact, I gave myself a promotion earlier this year. The best part: I am working on artistically fulfilling projects and moving my career forward at the same time! — Laura Simms

The most important thing I learned in 2008 is that when broadcasters want to license your content for television, they pay “by the minute.” Sooooooooo my short films just got longer. — Melinda Augustina

As the mother of a seven-year-old actor, I learned that when working with an agent, bigger is not always better. We were signed with a major agent in LA and became increasingly frustrated at the treatment we received. Unreturned phone calls and emails. Short and sometimes hateful responses when we did talk to a live person. Finally a not-so-nice comment made about my son’s ability or lack thereof, in front of him. We left. Yes, we walked out on a one-year contract with a major agency because we didn’t think we were being treated well.

Our friends in the business thought we were nuts. We heard over and over, “Do you know how hard is it to get into a big agency?” “He’ll never work,” “He’ll never get another agent.” Within two weeks, we signed with a small boutique agency that was able to see the value in a talented little seven-year-old with a unique look. Our phone calls are taken on the first ring, emails are returned, and my son is encouraged at every turn. Results: He auditions approximately three times a week, has appeared in two short films, has shot one lower-budget feature, and just wrapped on a feature where he has a highly emotional scene with Ed Harris!

So, stick to your guns. If it doesn’t feel right, if you aren’t being treated like you should, don’t be afraid to keep looking. The right fit is out there! — Amy Schelton (mom to Evan)

Everybody Loves a List!

My (hard but rewarding and necessary) lessons learned in 2008 are humbling and many.

• The difference between friendly and friends can further or hinder relationships. Important to not mix up the two and also to be blessed with both.
• Have thick skin and really witty comebacks and smile.
• Ask myself really hard questions: “How much do I want this?” “Am I doing everything I can do get this?” and be prepared to answer them.
• Be graceful when losing a role or an opportunity. It will show through.
• Keep things simple and trust in that your genuine self will shine through. In my haste to make a good impression, I realized I overwhelmed people more than intrigued them. — Sandy’Ci Moua

This has been our first full calendar year in the entertainment industry. Here are some of the things we have learned.

• When it comes to information, it’s always best to understand the source. There is a large amount of valuable acting information out there, but you have to pick though the other not-so-useful stuff in order to get to it.
• Every successful actor will audition and not be chosen the majority of the time. They way that one handles rejection and constructive criticism is the key to longevity.
• Check the breakdowns often. By the time you get an email for the breakdown, hundreds have already submitted.
• Great coaches, agents, and managers don’t need to advertise.
• I really hate to say this because I’m a parent: “Don’t listen to other parents in the audition room.” One of the jobs of your coach and/or manager is to point out the things you are lacking in your HS and resumé. Let them do their job.
• I would say that the final lesson that I have learned is not to procrastinate, but here I am sending you an email over two weeks after you sent the call out for lessons learned so I fail in that respect. — Lewis Ford (dad to Eva)

• I learned the difference between a true “commercial” headshot that works and one that doesn’t.
• I learned that musicals are the most difficult aspect of performing, and yet I find they are the most rewarding.
• I learned that if you don’t have a solid support group, this town will eat you up and have your self-esteem for dessert.
• I learned that going to CD workshops — whether paying for them or not — are a necessity in my career right now.
• I have learned that no one goes to MySpace anymore, so that is not a good option for my “official website.”
• I learned from watching an actor friend of mine that I do not know how to market myself correctly.
• I learned CDs are really cool and nothing to be scared of. Now… BluRay’s, that’s another story. — Sean Spence

• It’s difficult to take marketable pictures of a three year old, even an adorable and compliant one.
• Community theatre exists outside the realm of realistic expectations for children’s working hours. The kids may wrap after 11pm on a school night, and no one bats an eye.
• There are a lot of bad people out there trying to scam parents, and a lot of parents being scammed who are too defensive to listen to reason.
• There is no problem on set too big for Chocolate Teddy Grahams to fix.
• Sometimes it’s hard to be nice, but swallowing your irritation and making the decision to be flexible and easy to work with is just as important as having a pretty face. — Elizabeth Briggs (mom to Ian)

What I learned (or what really hit home) about the business in 2008:

• To take advice!
• That treating everyone with courtesy and respect is not only good manners but good business.
• That I really do not care for complainers.
• That the moments before an audition/in between takes/in rehearsal are as important as “the work” itself, and I have to use it wisely.
• That effort is directly related to results.
• That each production is completely unique.
• That the quicker I “let go” of an audition, the more open I am for the next one, which in turn, makes me better at the process of working. — Sherry Locher

Life Is Bigger than the Biz

I’m adventurous, but not often confronted with risks that scare me. I’ve learned two things: That outcomes aren’t one situation or the opposite, and no matter how it turns out, taking a scary risk is empowering. — Terri J. Freedman

What have I learned in 2008? That the journey is just as important as the goal. By opening myself up to being seen in new venues, keeping in touch with industry people I’ve met, staying positive and proud, I feel that even though I haven’t “done” a lot of projects this year, I really have accomplished more in connecting to others in this business than I have in recent years. Without those human connections, this biz would be even tougher. So here’s to sharing the journey with others while maintaining a positive focus on goals. My life and my work have definitely been enriched!

Perhaps the most important “lesson” I’ve learned in 2008 is how important my loved ones are. My father faced not one but three life-threatening illnesses this year which hammered home how grateful I am for my family. I would not be here but for my parents, not only in the life-giving sense, but when I decided to come back to acting, their response was, “How can we help you?” I am so grateful that my father is now on the road to recovery, that my family is closer than ever and that we have each other to love and cherish. What I do and experience on my personal road is also fuel for my acting and despite the fear and despair that came along with facing these past five months, I have grown as a person, which can only help me grow as an artist. — Michele Athena Morgen

Thought about it long and hard, struggling to find the right words, but then I realized that I didn’t need any lengthy explanations or examples for what I learned in 2008. Plain and simple: I learned to believe in myself and my talents. Also to have faith that things will come to me when the universe feels that I’m ready. Learned to find the positive in things even when the outcome is not what I desired. That being said, I guess I’ve also learned to simplify things in my life. — Amy Harber

Never Quit

I learned that at the right time, the right opportunities present, so do not let your ambition get ahead of yourself. Keep the faith, keep training, and do not quit! — Courtney Fine

I think the biggest lesson I learned is that what I do is not necessarily my destiny. By that I mean that I’ve come to accept that even if I were never offered another television or film role, it wouldn’t mean that I somehow missed my calling. Instead, I’ve finally come to understand that the journey is sometimes the best destination. I learned to chill even when I’d hoped my phone would be ringing off the hook because I’d become the “next hot thing;” I learned to be grateful for every door that did open even though I’m still shuffling papers at a day job; and I learned to pour myself into every class, workshop, and audition even though none of that meant TMZ would be stalking me on the red carpet.

My perspective changed in 2008. I learned to love the process of acting — going to classes, self-submitting on Actors Access, sending headshots to CDs, auditioning for roles totally outside my range — even though I did not become Brad Pitt’s leading lady. I learned to abandon the belief that booking the part equates to success.

It seems so many creative types I know came here and lost themselves. Some compromised their morals, a few gave into addictive and/or destructive behaviors, others walked away from their faith because of disappointment and disillusionment. I feel LA has tested my character and what I learned this past year is that my foundation’s solid. I didn’t take auditions that went against my values even when I needed the money; I accepted some auditions that didn’t go against my morals but challenged my image of myself (Well, it can’t be so bad being called a Michelle Obama type even though I envision myself more like a Beyoncé!); I learned gratitude for getting called in by casting directors in the first place!

I think the hardest thing for an actor is to separate who we are from what we do. Acting so touches the creative core of us that it’s hard not to take being turned down as rejection. It’s hard to see doors remain closed when we’ve done the absolute best we can do. (It’s even harder when people keep asking, “When I am going to see you in something?”) This is the year I learned to accept there’s nothing wrong with me or my destiny just because I’m not a household name by now. I learned that there’s nothing that can hold me back from my destiny except me. And I learned that my foundation’s solid so that when the door opens I’ll be ready. And if it turns out one day that acting’s not in my destiny, I learned it’s okay to give myself permission to dream a new dream. — Shay Holland

I learned to be patient. To ride the storm. And to keep my focus on what I am passionate about. The rest I can’t control. — Tamar Kagan

I’ve learned that I fail a lot, but when I don’t and I do rock, I rock hard. So I just have to wade through the failing to the dry land of rock-ness and keep in mind that as long as I keep swimming I’ll be fine, eventually. — Claartje Van Swaaij

Don’t give up! When things get really tough, this simple bit of advice has a whole new meaning. — Leslie Lopez

Keep Learning

I learned that you can never stop learning. Really, you can’t stop. There’s so much to learn; it never stops. Add to that the fact that the game keeps changing, so you’re never really “all good.” Personally, I find it quite frustrating and slightly addicting. So, thanks for your columns which help with the process (except that they usually bring up at least one thing I didn’t know about, which I then feel compelled to research online to fully understand instead of sleeping like a normal person). Really, thanks. — Laura Clary

Bonnie Gillespie is living her dreams by helping others figure out how to live theirs. Wanna work with Bon? Start here. Thanks!

Originally published by Actors Access at http://more.showfax.com/columns/avoice/archives/000965.html. Please support the many wonderful resources provided by the Breakdown Services family. This posting is the author’s personal archive.