One of my favorite things to do is something I’ve had the opportunity to do quite a bit already in 2011: Take in fantastic talent; observe wonderful performances; watch people living their dreams; and then talk, talk, talk about it all with fellow “buyers.” An agent, a producer, and I were at a bar after a show (sounds like the start of an old joke, doesn’t it?) talking about the actors we’d just seen, when the agent stopped to drop a text to an assistant in a major casting office, sharing the name of one of the stars of the play. I’m willing to bet that actor will be going in on a small role in a huge TV show within ten days.

How did this line up to happen? The actor did his homework, did his research, followed up, was professional and talented (of course), and THEN entered the cage.

Huh? The cage? Yeah. Lemme provide some context.

First, the actor is someone I scouted at a play a little over two months ago. Small role, great work. Even better, he knew I was coming to that show, he had done a little research on me, and when we met in the lobby after the play he had a costar who I’ve known for years be sure to introduce us. He didn’t get too specific about my life (this is important, as many actors will think the MORE they can comment on your Twitter feed or act like they’re “in the know” on your life, the better, and it’s actually quite creepy to meet someone so eager to use your tweets to ingratiate without context), but dropped the occasional common thread, which allowed me to “yes, and…” as we talked for a few minutes.

When we attended this most recent play, this same actor had a much larger role, and the agent friend I had brought with me really sat up and took notice of the actor’s work. When I assured him that not only was this actor talented, but he was a total pro, was not creepy, and was SMART about working the room, my agent friend asked for an after-show meet-up, which he got. Which led to him texting his top casting office buddy about the actor once we reached the bar for our after-show debrief.

During that debrief, we talked about many things (as people are known to do; we don’t just talk about the industry, although discussions of politics and sports and sex tend to always cycle back around to the biz for those of us who love what we do as much as the three of us do), and one of those things was boxing… and then MMA fighting. Yes, really.

Now, what I know about MMA fighting is encapsulated by an episode of Friends and what I saw on a PPV fight after a Georgia game at SOUTH one Saturday, for which I promised my husband we would stay, if he would be my date for “my” game. I know there’s a cage. I know there are few rules. I know the fighters’ career term is short, compared with that of other professional athletes, and I know that these fighters spend a lot of time researching and sizing up their opponents before entering the cage. And while I never like to see the pursuit of acting as a fight, as a world in which there is an obstacle or opponent, as a struggle at all, the analogy of sizing up the person you’re about to encounter before jumping in, punches flying, seemed to be great corollary to networking in this business. So much so that my agent friend was moved to share the following with us, after our conversation:

When it comes to your impression on people in this town, it’s not bad to look at it as a fight of sorts (MMA, boxing, blood sport, whatever tickles your fancy). Think about it. Everyone has on one occasion or another run into someone who was throwing everything they had. Sending haymaker after haymaker just trying to land a substantial blow and more often than not, they fail miserably (and exert all of their energy in the process).

There’s a certain consciousness you need to have when approaching people. They may not necessarily be opponents, but there is a sweet science to this industry. I absolutely loathe (a word I very rarely use) people who spend ridiculous amounts of time discussing every project that they have ever done, will do, or have thought about doing. Why in all hell would you do that? You’re exhausting yourself before you have any idea of what would be of interest to me (or anyone for that matter).

When an MMA fighter is training for a fight, he starts first and foremost by studying his opponent. If they are a brawler who tends to throw a lot of hard hitting punches and you are a very skilled wrestler then you want to find a way to get them on the ground and into a situation more suitable for your style of combat. This general method of strategy can and should be applied to networking. The only real difference being that you must strategize on the fly.

When you meet someone that you could potentially work with, do not feel obligated to come out of the gate swinging wildly. Introduce yourself (touch gloves) and spend a few minutes dancing around the ring to feel each other out. Once you have an idea of this person’s tendencies, likes, and dislikes, you can begin to mount your attack, so to speak. If they are a producer who tends to quote comedic films during the course of conversation then mention the improv group you’re working with instead of the dramatic short you just finished. And yes, I understand that your short may have gotten a standing ovation at Sundance and that you’re the lead and that it has a really powerful message (all in 11 gripping minutes), but honestly I don’t care at the moment. However, as our conversation progresses and we discuss Kevin Smith, it will seem perfectly fitting when you casually mention your Sundance offering and where I can see it.

Now, when I walk away from our encounter I am more likely to look up your short than I would have been if you had bombarded me with that useless information while still shaking my hand.

Learn to gauge the person you are speaking with. Don’t just throw out every credit you’ve ever had in the hopes that something will hit. Take your time. Learn what piques their interest and then find something in that space that you can both relate to. The better you get at picking your spots, the more likely you are to win your battles. And winning your battles is the difference between being a self-indulgent jackass and a likeable actor that I’ll keep in mind.

So, take this back to your show bible (which you’ll recall, has nothing to do with a show and everything to do with your career-wide map of contacts and connections) and keep doing good research. Bide your time. Learn the players and be ready to change up your game when you see they’ve made a change in theirs. No, I’m not saying it’s a good idea to be anything other than your authentic self, always trying to figure out what the “buyer” wants you to be (that’s career suicide, and crazymaking on a personal level), but by knowing the game, knowing the players, and having lots of different moves in your playbook, you’ll keep getting invited into the cage.

Before we head into Your Turn, I want to take a moment to make sure y’all know about a free AFTRA event going on: Technology for the 21st Century (Social Media Panel), Thursday, February 3rd, 7pm, AFTRA-Los Angeles, Frank Maxwell Boardroom. RSVP with your name, AFTRA number, and event title to larsvp@aftra.com. Thanks to Bobby Reed, one of the panelists, for the heads up!

Bonnie Gillespie is living her dreams by helping others figure out how to live theirs. Wanna work with Bon? Start here. Thanks!

Originally published by Actors Access at http://more.showfax.com/columns/avoice/archives/001297.html. Please support the many wonderful resources provided by the Breakdown Services family. This posting is the author’s personal archive.