Last week’s column on Grace generated not only a lot of email, but a lot of long email. Here are two of my favorites.
Bonnie,
My dear friend — and one of your biggest admirers — Meagan Flynn, just sent me your January 25, 2010, article titled “Grace.” She frequently quotes your work and sends me articles. I enjoy them all, but was particularly moved by this piece and felt compelled to respond.
Thank you so much for putting this reminder out in our industry. I’m an actress who has ventured into producing. I now get to enjoy all the details of working in front of and behind the camera. No longer do I just walk on set, enjoy the day, then walk off. NO. It’s all about building relationships and projects with the best people in town. And when I say best, I mean the most gracious.
I’ve recently had such experiences while building a business with people less than gracious. It’s so sad to have high hopes for a project or for a person. One of my recent projects became incredibly successful. The team I worked with was dedicated and ambitious. The sky was the limit! However, as time went on, the realization of a “less than gracious” attitude became apparent. The deserving people were not receiving credit and extreme sensitivity and blame occurred when things didn’t go their way. The team was no longer. There was no humility or reasoning. The need for entitlement was so overwhelming to the point that our successful project had to come to an end. The choices being made where not only causing this person to live in Bitterville, but I believe I have met the mayor! 🙂
Normally, I wouldn’t run on and on about such a situation, but I have personally seen what can happen to a cast and crew when people choose not to act out in grace. Your article helped me solidify the fact that we are in charge of our own emotions and actions. We all have feelings… hell, we are actors! But how you choose to define yourself is what makes you stand out from the rest.
In addition to grace, I’d say be thankful. When things go south, be grateful for the times that challenged your character when reacting to someone less than gracious. I know we are all human and are not free from this type of behavior, but there is nothing more beautiful then to see someone humbly say, “I’m sorry.” Now, I can move on from this experience knowing that only amazing things are in the future. I will choose to work with the “gracious of the gracious.” I know what kind of environment will help everyone in a project soar! Heck, isn’t building relationships what life is all about? When you believe in others and your projects, amazing thing will happen!
I enjoy your work! Keep it up. Our industry needs it!
All the best,
Jennifer Plas
What a great email! Thanks, Jennifer. I try to spend so much of my time in gratitude for all things that it really starts to feel wrong when I fall out of practice. That’s the industry I want to work in. Sounds like you do too. I look forward to when we will work together! Filled with grace.
This next email comes from the director of last week’s Self-Produced Clip of the Week, and as I mentioned when I posted the piece, she and I had previously crossed paths when I was looking to hire a director in 2008. Now, thanks to last week’s column and the power of Facebook, we’re back in touch.
Dear Bonnie,
Wanted to share a few things with you now that we’ve re-connected.
1) My hubby, who’s a working Hollywood composer, was having a tough day on the 25th. He’s working with this director who’s giving him a hard time, this is the first time this happens as he’s been really lucky that way, but, there’s always a first, right? And this was it for him. He is a Conan O’Brien fan so I read your column “Grace” to him (which coincidentally ended with The Gift Wrapper as Self-Produced Clip of the Week). He was very inspired and moved by it and he had a great conference call with the producer and the director the next morning where he managed to be truly “graceful” and now things are going way smoother and he is feeling much better so THANK YOU! Another proof that handling harsh situations with grace is nothing but empowering! 😉
2) Allie was here today and she encouraged me to share my “story” with you, because she thought you’d enjoy it. As you know, I am a writer/director/producer and now an aspiring actress as well! I’ve always been fascinated by the acting craft, ever since I was a little girl. I remember watching Shoot the Moon on TV with my mom — I must’ve been nine or so — and telling her: “Mom, this is really impressive. How do they do that?” I’ve admired actors all my life and while my friends were watching soap operas, I was watching Inside the Actors’ Studio. 😉
My favorite part of directing has always been the work with actors, which led me — when I moved to LA eight years ago — to start working with Judith Weston. I started out with an acting for directors workshop, then the rehearsal techniques/script analysis and then the actors/director lab (as a director). Everyone insisted I should take a scene study class and I didn’t see why not, as I always had a blast working with the actors and I thought it would be great for my directing too! Taking that scene study class (That’s when I met Allie, actually!) was extremely painful. I had a really hard time, it scared me, inhibited me, paralyzed me.
Something really strange happened: me, such a lively, energetic, and expressive being, would come on stage and suddenly freeze! HA!
I was fascinated by this.
I decided there was something there to be untapped. Unclogged. Liberated. Freed up. I had the feeling that, if I succeeded in doing that, great things would happen to me as an artist. I’m so glad I kept trying, for the next few classes I took (all scene study master classes from then on) took me to a whole different level of the craft. I experienced the magical, creatively transforming forces of acting and I can say I’ve discovered my acting voice. And it feels so good! Along with this, I started dancing and taking vocal lessons as well as doing private coaching for kids, teens, and adults, which I love so much and is mainly what I do for a living these days.
My writing got better and my directing stronger and I’ve been more inspired and full of ideas than ever before. It’s been such a ride! Acting has opened up so much in me and I am so thankful for it.
That is why I’ve decided to give it a try, professionally. Because why not! I want to explore this other form of artistic expression that I have to offer and share with the world. I see it as a whole new world of opportunities too. So I’m getting my headshots done soon and I’m going for it! I can’t pursue it 24/7 ’cause pursuing a directing career is already very consuming, but I’m definitely gonna throw it in the mix.
I’ve started to read your columns and Allie has been so supportive. 😉 She brought me your amazing book today, which I shall start reading tonight. I’m very excited!
Please let me know if I can ever be of help to you or if you think I could contribute to any of the five zillion amazing endeavors and projects you always have going on. I would absolutely love to work with you in any capacity (that is: writing, directing, producing and/or acting)! 😉
Much love and besos,
xxx
Daniela De Carlo
Outstanding! Your entire email reads like a love letter to actors, Dani, and that’s the kind of thing that makes a great director. Even better, it ensures you’ll always have love for the creative process from both sides of the camera, and that makes you a blast to work with, no matter which role you’re in at that particular moment.
Thank you so much for sharing a bit about your journey. It’s so exciting to know how we all seem to have paths that differ from what we might have expected, starting out. (Hmm… just like this week’s column, huh?)
Actually, something you might like to be aware of is a site I linked to in this week’s column but will mention here explicitly. In 2010, Cricket Feet will launch a site to feature actors’ self-produced awesomeosity, and we did a very quiet, private “call for entries” in late December. As we build momentum, collecting submissions for our launch, I figured it might be time to mention to folks like you and all self-producers who would bother to read to the bottom of the Your Turn section (a section I’m told is way under-read, compared to the rest of the column, so I can kind of tuck this mention here and treat it like a treat for those who happen to get this deep into the column) that we’re looking forward to providing a venue for your greatest goodies!
Whether on this project or something else, I know we’ll be working together soon, Dani. Thank you for this great email. And thank you, everyone who wrote in about Grace. I agree with the majority of you who emailed, that the time to cultivate good habits for being filled with grace is way before the rewards start flowing. In fact, it’s that we are filled with grace that the rewards do come.
Bonnie Gillespie is living her dreams by helping others figure out how to live theirs. Wanna work with Bon? Start here. Thanks!
Originally published by Actors Access at http://more.showfax.com/columns/avoice/archives/001139.html. Please support the many wonderful resources provided by the Breakdown Services family. This posting is the author’s personal archive.