I love it when I get questions that apply to ALL of us.
Y’know, sometimes a headshot question is gonna yield an answer that only applies to actors. Sometimes an astrology question is best for the woo-curious but not the rest of y’all who get my emails or read these posts. My creative entrepreneurs in the bunch may love geeking out about webinar workflow but that’s not exciting for my showbiz folks.
Ah… but this one is good for everyone.
Social media. Of course. We ALL have to be on it. Build a fanbase. Grow a following. Post on-brand. Right?
Absolutely 100% FICTION.
Here’s the question I received:
What advice would you give an actor who hates the trend I’m seeing of breakdowns and meetings centered around how many followers I have on social media? I hate social media in so many ways. Despite having solid chops and talent I can’t seem to promote myself without feeling gross about it and slightly narcissistic when the world is so chaotic right now. People are struggling and I’m posting photos and videos of myself which I feel self-conscious about. What should I be doing or saying to myself to get over mild social anxiety I get when posting to try to be more “appealing” to casting and talent reps?
And the answer I gave?
It’s up at IGTV. It’s just a few minutes and it’s worth your time to watch it.
(Don’t have access to IGTV? Here it is on the YouTubes.)
I break down the role of your True North in determining how (or even if) you need to show up on social media. I mention that OF COURSE we get Stoppers from people (and oy, does that always lead to some form of Actor Busy Work). And I share that the Self-Management for Actors TARGETING work is 100% the cure to believing you have to fix non-problems.
It’s not your problem; it’s your filter. That thing in your gut that twists into knots over the IDEA of having to do more on social media, be more public about your life, grow a following, or anything else that just feels ICKY to you… none of that is indicative of a problem you need to fix.
It’s just your filter trying to get you to pay attention to it. It’s the sign that you’re looking for. It’s confirmation that this thing you’re trying to make yourself do is NOT aligned with the work, the buyers, or the True North path at all. That this place is NOT where you need to be spending your energy, your effort, or your precious time.
Now you tell me: What is your filter trying to tell you? What’s your gut saying? And have you turned that into a problem… that you don’t even need to fix? Comments are open just below! Lemme hear from you!
All my ninja love,
Enoughness is an inside job… and sometimes you need a guide to find your way there. Let Bonnie Gillespie get you started.
It’s (that still, small Voice) is telling me “limit ypur exposure. Don’t reveal too much. Retain an air of mystery. Even if you get famous, don’t become too well-KNOWN”.
Definitely sounds like a True North attitude!
Mystique is very much a part of many folks’ brand. Good awareness! Less is more.
YESSS! I have so many friends putting content out and I feel left behind but when I do it I often feel unsettled or icky about it. It’s so nice to know I don’t necessarily HAVE to do that and that my social media presence can be exactly tailored to me and my brand (which had NEVER OCCURRED TO ME BEFORE). Thanks Bonnie!!
It’s such a great “a-ha!” moment, isn’t it? 🙂 I felt exactly the same way!
Yay! So glad this gives you the space to decide where/when/how you’d like to show up… if at all, in some places. 🙂 Yay!
Thanks for this iteration. Don’t know if comments on a blog are a “good” place to come out about it, but heck, if they don’t even get read, it may be the perfect place – I was diagnosed with cancer during COVID. It’s been hell and I’m financially in a bad place. One of my filters for cancer as an entertainer was “who do I tell?” It wasn’t safe even in my private life to talk to everyone about it. I don’t care who knows but I can’t risk a careless or morbid responses and you’d be surprised how often that happens. I decided to not talk on social media about it much, if at all. Because well, perceptions. But now frequently eight months into treatments, when my days are often pretty sucky, I find myself posting on social “watch my show on tv this weekend” or something and …. why does social media exist at all? I mean I’m glad to work and hope people watch my shows but living and dying seem so much more important than ANY of that. So I can relate to how empty social media can leave you feeling. If there was a way to actually connect with people that might inspire me…. But instead I’m considering wiping my accounts. Is that counter productive for being hired, I wonder? Having an account with nothing on it?
Anyway, my filter led me strongly to not choose amputation surgery right now. My filter led me to ask my agent to only send me out for Union, career-changing projects for the duration. It’s true that that filter will give you nightmares and make your days nightmarish too if you don’t notice it’s message.
Hey in the end, there’s no right way or wrong way to Life. It’s just living. The only end goal is dying. Why rush towards a goal? This goes for everything you do while you live, acting especially. As far as I see it from this perspective at least.
Oh I forgot to mention, I did create a Patreon Page where I can be candid about cancer with people who take the extra effort to support me rather than just Follow me. http://Patreon.com/tonyakay
“I see you” too, Tonya, my friend.
Sean Frost aka Sean Johnston
Brilliant. Sending you so much love and so many hugs and such power for all you’re facing (always). You continue to shine your light as the leader you are. Love you.
I can feel so much power here in what you’ve written. Sending you lots of love. <3
Hugs, my friend.
My sister is quite ill with cancer at the moment. Fortunately, she is nearby, and I visit and practice my comedy routines on her.
Facebook is enough for me. You can DELETE posts. Very important!
I am not on Twitter or Instagram because I would blurt things out that should have been thought over more carefully.
I have no filter. I’m almost as bad as …
never mind who.
Suffice it to say, Facebook is plenty.
Yeah… but your tendency to delete posts is what got you on moderated status in our dojo FB group, hon. I get wanting to take back things you’ve said, but when you take away alllllll the love and thoughtful comments of all those who posted ON your thread, you’re destroying property, not just deleting your own blurts. Something to think about.