Y’all.

I’m just gonna put it out there.

I’m struggling!

See, there’s this whole brand shift going on with me and it’s as scary as cotton balls. (Um… yeah. I have a cotton ball phobia.)

And some of what we have to map out as a part of this growth? It’s really annoying little details like — brace yourself. If this puts you to sleep I will not be offended AT ALL — how to create (at least) three tracks of my brand.

There’s the track that’s just for actors and other showbiz creatives who also love a good dose of mindset. There’s the track that’s for creative entrepreneurs and other not-necessarily-showbiz folks who dig the mix of pragmatic and woo-woo goodness. And then there’s the track that’s for all sorts of people who want NO mindset work whatsoever. (Just kidding! There is no track for this population; they just get the unsub button.)

Okay, in my mind, I’m about to have to separate my fanbase into two completely different populations: showbiz people and non-showbiz people.

And then as I even type that up right now, I go, “Um, really? Because showbiz people can’t enjoy learning how to fix their money mindset or bust through upper-limit problems? Actors who need help identifying their most castable brand can’t also enjoy me saying, ‘Use your moons!’ when it comes to strategizing a schedule? How silly!”

Thing is, growth is scary. Pushing outside our comfort zones — especially when we’ve done ridiculously well in said spaces — is outright terrifying at times.

Because it’s not just, “What if I suck?” with the new audience, it’s also, “What if — in making this move — I suck at the new stuff, betray those who sustained my empire with the comfort zone stuff, and then there’s no going back, nothing new I’ve been able to build, and I die?”

Yes, I’ve actually started ending my accountability posts in one of my ladybiz mastermind groups with the words, “AND I DIDN’T DIE.” Because there’s some part of my brain that actually believes expanding in this new direction WILL KILL ME.

Fear is such a filthy, fucking, no-good liar.

And when the choices are stare that liar down and do the new thing anyway *or* let it lull us into complacency and safety FTW, frankly, most people on the planet stay small. It’s just easier.

As you know from your SMFA Calendar, awards season just ended. So I’ve been really thinking a lot about Lady Gaga.

She has always known she’s more than just a singer/songwriter, but I’m willing to bet there was a time that pushing into acting seemed terrifying to her. Like, “OMG, I will DIE if I do it. I’ll lose all the people who buy my music and won’t make a place for myself as an actor and then I’ll be left with nothing and I will die.”

The other voice within her, though, likely said, “Or… not that.” And that’s the tiny voice I love spending time with right now. The voice that says, “Or, there will probably be some people who say I’ve sold out for broadening my fanbase. I will lose some of those earliest-to-the-party fans. And surely some people who’ve never been fans of or never even heard my music will turn their nose up at me for my audacity at thinking I can do this acting thing and that’s gonna hurt. But the majority of the people who are already fans are going to CELEBRATE that I’m challenging myself and doing bigger things. I bring with me to this new party people who wouldn’t watch this TV show or go see this movie except for the fact that they’re fans of my music specifically. And of the people who watch this TV show and go see this movie and learn about me for the first time, maybe they’ll go check out my music and be glad they did!”

Right.

I seriously have to remind myself — sometimes hourly — that it’s safe to find out.

True fans celebrate us when we grow. They don’t punish us for “leaving them” (mainly because we don’t leave anybody. We simply invite more people to an ever-cooler party). And new people invited to the party aren’t sitting around with some preconceived notion about someone they’ve never even heard of! I mean… that’s just not happening!

I share all of this not just because you’ll need a little heads up that some things will be changing around here and we don’t want anything to be jarring (oh, like we’re only doing TWO LA-based one-day intensives this year, and these always filled up back when we did FOUR), but also because more and more creatives in my life are facing brand pivots — or any other massive life change of the terrifyingly broad, sweeping variety — and this may be just the little reassurance you need that growth is MANAGED… and that means doing the inner work to be sure you’re not letting fear lie its lies at you.

Or, more correctly, to be sure you’re not buying into the lies fear may lie at you.

Fear’s doing its job. Now you do yours.

GROW.

Excited to be on this journey with y’all!

XO

Bonnie Gillespie autographed the internet


Bonnie Gillespie is living her dreams by helping others figure out how to live theirs. Wanna work with Bon? Start here. Thanks!

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4 Comments

  1. Avatar La Trice March 5, 2019 at 11:59 am

    Wow Bonnie, thanks for sharing this! I missed this particular blast last week, and thankfully was shot over to it from this week’s blast 😃 I love the fact that you’re sharing that growth is difficult at ANY tier! Taking the Get In Gear course has introduced me to so many brand new and, I have to admit, difficult areas of growth that I’ve just begun to start looking at all of them as “growing pains” because ALL OF IT is necessary in order for me to get myself to the next tier.

    And what I always remind myself of is, if I can’t handle THIS right now, how the heck am I going to handle THIS when it rears its head again at the next tier and is even bigger and badder there than it is right now!? Gotta suck it up, hold that head up, and DIVE, DIVE, DIVE into that amazing future waiting up ahead!

    On a personal note (not too personal I hope lol), I definitely consider you a mentor of mine Bonnie, and knowing that you live the life you’re teaching us every day, makes everything so much more bearable, doable, and exciting! Thank you so much for the encouragement!
    And congratulations on every wonderful thing happening on your business!! 😄💕

    Reply
    1. Bonnie Gillespie Bonnie Gillespie March 5, 2019 at 2:02 pm

      Honey, this comment landed RIGHT on time. <3 I adore you and it's so good to know that sharing my struggles doesn't KILL ME. 😉 In fact, it helps your struggles not kill your momentum! WE ROCK! XO

      Reply
      1. Avatar Millie Warren March 26, 2019 at 4:38 pm

        Haha I’m working a gig at a medical school and I have sooooo much time to read while the faculty gives he students feedback ~ so I’m catching up on sooooo many BonBlasts, like, I’ve read six so far! Haha

        It’s really cool to see how vulnerable your growth is. It IS scary! Like, going into he unknown (aka next tier) means acting differently. Adjusting and growing my habits and behavior. This resonates soooo much with me and it’s scary to “be different.”

        I’ve been so comfortable acting A certain way, I’m realizing it isn’t supporting Future Me.

        It’s uncomfortable – AND WE GOT IT! It’s just really comforting and motivating to see others working through their limitations, too! 🙂

        Reply
        1. Avatar Ninja Erin March 28, 2019 at 12:48 pm

          ❤❤❤

          Reply

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