Hello beauties. Hope you’re hanging in there with all the cray going on. Keep breathing. Keep re-centering. Keep remembering that you are enough!
Today, I’m going to share a bit about one of my most effective superpowers, Baseline Criteria. I first codified this brilliance in 2018 and started sharing it with our members right away. Let me set the stage.
I’d been on bedrest, I’d weathered a hospital stay, my undiagnosable mystery pain was in charge of everything and we were about to head to Georgia for my father’s 85th birthday party. Because if I didn’t go, the family story would be “Bonnie didn’t show up.” And even if all I could do is be propped up against a wall doped up on painkillers, dammit, I was *gonna* show up!
But because by this time, we knew what I’m contending with is a mind-body healing journey — one that involves some deep diving into childhood trauma and maladaptive stress responses, doing heavy-duty reparenting and neuralpathway rerouting — we also knew there was no way to go into a room of 100+ people whose Trump-bumper-sticker SUVs filled the parking lot, be in the presence of the three people who’ve been cruelest to me my entire life, and NOT have a plan.
The plan became: Baseline Criteria.
There were three things I needed to do at this party.
1. Say “Happy birthday, Daddy.”
2. Catch up with my favorite aunt.
3. Check on my niece.
Everything else? Optional. Bonus Points.
When we realized that this Baseline Criteria could take as few as 20 minutes to complete, suddenly everything got super simple — something my physical, mental, and emotional health deeply needed — because this meant we could be DONE with this party for which we’re flying across the country, staying for five days, spending a few grand… in under a half-hour.
And that would be okay!
Of course, all these thoughts flooded in about what people would think if we were there for such a short period of time, what they might say, all the usual expectations-laden things that cause us to do things we may not actually be healthy enough to do… and there was such peace in knowing that there is complete freedom to feel DONE with everything once Baseline Criteria is achieved.
Like with everything.
Since realizing the power of Baseline Criteria a couple of years ago, Keith and I have used it before going to Hollywood networking events, I’ve used it in committing to being available for a bajilliondy Zooms, and he used it at Comic-Con during his film’s premiere last year! His Baseline Criteria was a great photo of the panel in which he participated with the Comic-Con logo all over the place. Once one of his cast members snapped that shot, everything else at Comic-Con was Bonus Points.
Because we’ve been teaching it in our flagship membership (Get in Gear for the Next Tier), we’re hearing many reports that lovely clients are using it in their auditions and during online rehearsals and for sure in contract negotiations. When I shared BC with a dear casting director friend of mine, she got SO excited to try it and has since reported in that it has revolutionized her commercial casting sessions!
Just last week, I had to get up before sunrise to attend an online mastermind. I was exhausted and really wanted to stay in bed, but I used Baseline Criteria to get me motivated (and with Mars retrograde, we need that extra something in that area). I set the BC of connecting authentically with one person during the Zoom. Someone whose enoughness *I* could see and feel; someone who indicated to me that I was being seen fully as well. A new business friend. That’s it!
Sure enough, within the first 45 minutes of the Zoom, I noticed the chat had reset itself to that “private message” indicator and this wonderful human I’d been really feeling had sent the note: “Love what you said about magnetism and repelling the wrong clients. That share was pure fire. Thank you.” I of course, wrote back that I enjoyed her insights on the hot seat that another masterminder was doing, and gave her my email address if she’d like to connect outside of this group. Boom. Baseline Criteria met… and the whole Zoom experience (start to finish) was more relaxed because I didn’t go INTO IT needing to *learn all the things* nor did I feel any sense of overwhelm about stuff I didn’t need to add to my entrepreneurial toolbox.
I had set BC for meeting someone wonderful and really connecting. That happened. Everything else? Bonus Points! And for me, right now especially, connecting with a new potential biz bestie is absolutely worth getting up early for.
Baseline Criteria. Let’s say it’s a year from now. You’re about to attend a premiere. You’re feeling extra introverted. You do all the smart Self-Management for Actors networking prep to be sure you’ve studied up on whom you’ll meet, you’ve practiced your Brandprov, and you’re even getting in a nap before the event. Now you revisit your Baseline Criteria.
It could be as simple as a photo of you in your on-brand outfit on the red carpet for you to add to your gallery at IMDb. It could be staying through the final credits to cheer when your friend’s name is on the big screen. Perhaps it’s being present for the cast and crew talkback/Q&A and you needn’t see the film at all, so you can chill about arriving on time and being around so many people. Or maybe there’s a particular agent whose eyes you’d like to catch (and then do all the follow-up later, virtually).
Whatever the Baseline Criteria is, set it. Set it as early as possible and watch it cause you to relax about what’s to come. It’s as if BY KNOWING we have permission to “call it done” once we’re at Achievement Unlocked status on our Baseline Criteria, we somehow have a far more pleasant experience before, during, and after whatever it is we’re facing.
I want you to try this. And I want you to notice where you start feeling the freedom that setting Baseline Criteria creates. When we’re super clear on what it is that we require from any encounter, experience, or exchange, it’s as though infinite possibility opens up for the space that USED TO be occupied by anxiety or dread… or even anticipation!
Let’s start living in BONUS POINTS, y’all. Because that’s what everything after Baseline Criteria turns out to be!
Have FUN with this deceptively simple superpower! If you’d like to share how this goes for you, comments are open just below. Let me hear from you! 🙂