Be Decisive

There’s a lot of energy tied up in decision-making.

A lot of unnecessary energy.

And in a world where energy is CURRENCY, the question is: How do you wish to spend yours? (h/t Deepak)

There are so many things that — once we get the decision MADE and the deed DONE — are way smaller a deal than they may have felt when all the *deciding* was going on.

Case in point: closing the Facebook group. Nearly six weeks of team meetings, convos with formal and informal leaders, what-iffing allllllll the reactions that various populations of our SMFA Ninjas community might have about each potential decision (Do you know that there are SEVEN levels of managing this dang Facebook group that we had to choose from?!? Holy cats!), and of course pros-and-cons-ing all the repercussions of each option and trying to know what we can’t know ’til it happens.

And then — decision made as I journaled last rainy Tuesday at the day spa after a well-earned relaxing massage — I took a photo of one paragraph (that’s all it took to work it out), texted that to my team, and received a resounding HELL YES from everyone.

It’s as though a fog lifted.

Each time my brain would try and circle back to the what-ifs and the will-I-regret-it thoughts in the two days ’til the switch was pulled, I’d remember that very little in life gets decided ONCE and has to stay that way forEVER.

We can always re-evaluate and decide differently when we have more data.

But all this going back and forth about it rather than DOING it is what was crazymaking. For far too long.

I started thinking about a place in my life where being okay with not knowing how things will turn out has been filled with magic.

There’s a moment several times a week when I basically say, “I’m not sure if this is how this works BEST, but it’s something I’m ready to try, so I’m IN. I’m here for it. And I’m totally okay with not knowing for SURE right now.” I sum that whole line of thought up in one sentence I say.

To my pole instructor.

Before trying a new trick for the first time.

My pole instructor preps me on the technique, asks if I have questions, then says, “Think you’ve got this?”

My answer? That sentence that sums up what I do rather than doing ANY more going back and forth or what-iffing or pros-and-cons-ing or anything else?

It’s this:

“Let’s find out!”

By going on a curiosity-fueled journey toward defying gravity a few times a week, I find anxiety MELTS away.

Because it was the anxiety of, “Will it work? Might it not? Is this the right thing to do? Should I give this more time before giving it a go?” and all that jazz that was making me crazy.

Just like the anxiety of “Do I move to this new market or stay where I am?” or “Do I sign with this new agent or give my current rep more time to make things work?” or “Do I shoot new headshots AGAIN or trust these actually will work when we get them in front of the right people?” — the anxiety comes from all the mental gymnastics, not the actual doing of the damn thing.

Pick a lane and drive in it.

Decide you’re ready to try the trick and give yourself the room to FIND OUT whether or not it will work.

But spending endless energy — not to mention time and probably money in many cases — trying to cover all your bases is ultimately ineffective.

At some point, we have to just go for it and FIND OUT what’s out there.

What can you make a decision about today?

Share with me in the comments below!

Don’t start with the biggest, gnarliest thing you’ve got on your decision-making plate. Pick something stupid simple like “give these headshots six months before switching them out again” or “wait ’til pilot season ends to evaluate whether or not this rep is working out” or “just join the damn union and move up to that next tier, trusting the materials, relationships, and training are all good enough to give it a go.”

Okay, maybe not so wee, these options, but if “sell off everything and move across the country (or around the world)” is on the list, these are a bit smaller by comparison.

Point is, you’re probably carrying around way more stress than is necessary (and OMG, is *any* stress actually necessary?!?) and just by exploring with curiosity what may happen — knowing that “I may DIE” is probably not one of the what-ifs to protect against, here — you may surprise yourself with so much next-tier goodness.

Watch as the anxiety floats away, just by presenting yourself the freedom to go for it.

Will it work?

Let’s find out!

PS — I was a guest on this cool podcast called The Creator Mindset. Check it out! It just went up at iTunes (and everywhere podcasts live) today! 🙂 Woo hoo!

Lemmeknow what you think! 🙂 Thanks for checking it out.

’til next time… stay ninja!


Bonnie Gillespie is living her dreams by helping others figure out how to live theirs. Wanna work with Bon? Start here. Thanks!

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18 Comments

  1. Jaye January 16, 2018 at 12:56 am

    I’ve decided to pay off the current dues period to SAG-AFTRA so that I can qualify for a non-dues paying member in good standing when I reach that “magic” age in March! I will owe no more dues unless I make more than $5,000 in a year. Then, I can tackle the back dues for Equity!

    Reply
  2. George Hanover January 16, 2018 at 2:32 am

    I have decided to carve 10 minutes into my morning to meditate to help me focus. AND take 20 mins during the day preferably after my meditation to do some Alexander Technique and if it doesn’t interfere listen to a 20 min podcast. Boom!

    Reply
  3. Elizabeth Bell January 16, 2018 at 4:09 am

    The new year gave me a new schedule which allows me to really push my career forward. But I started filling the time with outside requests and realized I’ve never set up “my time”. Totally afraid to do it but after 1 week it’s been revelatory.

    Reply
  4. j-c bateman January 16, 2018 at 5:46 am

    Re decision making.
    Bay your bills even if a little early; it frees up the head space for your work!

    Reply
  5. Lauren January 16, 2018 at 6:29 am

    This email came at the perfect time! I’m actually getting new headshots today. My last batch was done and rather cheaply, but I needed something quick because of a drastic hair color change. At a recent audition, the CD asked me what types I saw myself playing and when I named them, they said “These headshots don’t convey that at all. How much did you spend on them?”
    Guilty as charged.
    But I found an amazing photographer who has been amazing at communicating with me and getting me pumped up for this session. I feel like with these new headshots, the new reel I’m getting put together, that I’ll be bigger and better than ever!

    Reply
  6. Casey Hunter January 16, 2018 at 7:38 am

    I’ve decided to finally take the leap of severely reducing the hours at my survival job and put more time into the opportunities I’ve worked so hard making for myself in the kick-a$$ career!

    Reply
  7. Andrea Martzipan January 16, 2018 at 8:54 am

    What can I make a decision about today?

    I can trust my teachers word AND my own work I put in for my self tape set up. I can repeat to my self out loud, “I always put out quality work in my self tapes.”

    Actively, I could write one page of outline for my own story, rather than watching that last eco cast submission 20 times, refreshing AA and cleaning the kitchen again because I’m not trusting the seeds I planted.

    I am absolutely in a year 2 as a 7.

    Reply
  8. KR January 16, 2018 at 8:57 am

    Make more targeted submissions rather than just blindly submitting.

    Reply
  9. Risha Tenae January 16, 2018 at 9:33 am

    WOW!!! This question couldn’t have been more timely. I’ve been wrestling with an issue for about a week: To Not sign the contract for the next leg of the touring show I’ve been working on for the past year. The Pros(very good pay, job security and performing on a regular basis), no longer outweigh the Cons(no possibility of vertical growth or increased pay with the production company, the negative health effects of constantly being on the road, having to turn down multiple next-tier opportunities b/c I’m always out of town). Actually, after reading what I’ve just written, the answer is Crystal clear…
    Thank you, Bonnie. AGAIN.

    Reply
  10. Grace January 16, 2018 at 9:47 am

    I’m committing myself to more financial security. My acting will always be there, but not if I keep coming from a place of lack. ALSO – commiting to actually submitting to target managers/agents after pilot season! I’ve been at 85% for over a year now!

    Reply
  11. Lisa Lafayette January 16, 2018 at 9:58 am

    I’m okay not getting mad at myself anymore because I’m not where another actor is ..in their skill set, or prep. It’s okay to go at my speed and be accurate and confident instead of all over the place trying to balance plates just because someone else I perceive as being successful is. That just may not be my path and that’s okay. Just do me and do it well

    Reply
    1. La Trice January 16, 2018 at 11:58 am

      Love it!

      Reply
  12. Jim Edgar January 16, 2018 at 10:23 am

    Emboldened by the “Launch at 85%” postcard I made a year ago, I picked and am paying for one scheduling tool which seems to work, and am going to use it until the end of April, rather than continuing to read articles like “The 10 (100)(7)(5)(whatever!) best Scheduling Tools for your Consulting Business” while being overwhelmed by inefficient email back-and-forths. Two weeks into the year and it’s already locked in four audio consulting sessions with clients.

    Reply
  13. Kelly Raymer January 16, 2018 at 10:28 am

    You always write things that are so relevant to me. For that I am grateful. I had wanted to purge a ton of stuff, embrace minimalism. Well I had a decision to make. A room opened up in my writing partner’s place and I had to make that decision. To move or not to move. Once I did. I felt free. It’s beautiful. I am going to try this. Don’t know the outcome. We shall see, but that’s ok.

    Reply
  14. La Trice January 16, 2018 at 11:56 am

    OMGoodness yaaas Bonnie! I’m definitely one of those people who puts WAY too much weight on decisions regarding my acting career on a daily basis! I LOVE the freedom that, “Let’s find out!” creates! Thanks so much for sharing!

    Reply
  15. Erin Zapcic January 16, 2018 at 5:00 pm

    LOVE all of these decisions! And YES, Risha, on moving away from anything that is *soooooo* last-tier. 😉

    What will you decide next? Let’s find out! 🙂

    Reply
  16. Mimi January 16, 2018 at 9:06 pm

    The decision making going on here is fantastic! By NOT choosing, we get to stay “comfortable” (read: SO uncomfortable) in our ambiguity about a situation, relationship, environment, etc. The minute we commit, the path becomes clear. Here’s to sticking with it, lovelies! <3 <3 <3

    Reply
  17. Deborah Murphy January 17, 2018 at 12:04 am

    I’ve decided to take better care of myself so that I can continue to show up for myself especially now that I’m working more than before in my acting career, especially when I’ve been blessed to book a leading role in one of my favorite plays from one of my favorite playwrights; because I deserve it, because I’ve been working so hard to live the life I love and because I love myself 🙂

    Reply

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