A lovely client treated me to a day at Burke Williams. If you’ve never been, first, please go. Second, know that about every 20 feet throughout the spa, there’s a comment card box, a stack of comment cards, pens, and an open invitation to share your opinion about the space, its staff, the experience.
When what you do is so dang good, you welcome feedback. You aren’t worried about the occasional bad review. You know it’s a fluke, compared to the flood of raves you receive.
How open are you to comments? Are you so dang sure that what you’re putting out into the world is awesome that you encourage feedback? At the end of every class I teach, we open the floor so we can hear what each participant will say, when asked, “What are you taking away from this time we’ve spent together?” (This is a tradition I learned while volunteering for WriteGirl. It’s lovely. It’s illuminating.)
Back in the days of my paper-based journalism career, we operated on the assumption that every letter to the editor represented hundreds of readers who shared the opinion of the one who was so moved as to pick up pen and paper, write a letter, and mail it in. Today? There’s this whole Internet thing and anyone with a high-speed connection and a — let’s be generous, based on some of the comments out there — third grade reading level can register an opinion about something.
I remember a favorite tweet from Diablo Cody from a couple of years ago: I love people that go to gossip sites and type “WHO CARES?” in the comments. You do, you little cutie! And, of course, a more recent one from Dave Wiskus: I believe that people are basically good. Unless you enable comments. Heck, I was just tweeted — moments ago — about a new vid from Film Courage in which Leah Cevoli is asked about Dee Wallace’s policy on ignoring the bad *and* the good about you, out there. Of course, I’ve written about coping strategies in this area, before.
A few months ago, after a speaking engagement in Chicago, a truly talented actor who happens to have the most toxic energy I’ve ever encountered approached me and said, “Would you be interested in some constructive criticism?” to which I replied, “Oh, goodness, no.” To be clear, I’m absolutely open to hearing from mentors, industry leaders, positive people whose opinions I cherish, if there’s something I could do better. You betcha! Someone whose idling speed is “miserable”? No. There’s nothing I need to hear from that person. Some people love to rage against the machine. They thrive on being bitter. They need something to hate. And they find people who live ON PURPOSE to be really handy targets.
Provide comment cards to those who actually consume your services (not those who just look in from the outside). That director who has worked with you on set? Hear his feedback on your performance. The coach whose classes you’ve taken for a year? Listen to her when she tells you you’re blocking your own best work. The community with whom you love to jam? Be open to their “yes, and…” in your life. Put comment cards all over the place, with these folks. They know what you’re capable of and who you are, at your core.
Whackadoodles who just happen to know how to operate a computer and who have nothing better to do than spew ire in your direction over something you’ve created? No comment.
Bonnie Gillespie is living her dreams by helping others figure out how to live theirs. Wanna work with Bon? Start here. Thanks!
Originally published by Actors Access at http://more.showfax.com/columns/avoice/archives/001538.html. Please support the many wonderful resources provided by the Breakdown Services family. This posting is the author’s personal archive.