After posting my “teaser” for the column entitled “The Let-Down,” I received this comment from a busy working actor friend of mine:
Oh my God. I actually just said “Oh my God” out loud when I read this. How awesome! I sincerely hope you get in, but my “rejection” or rather “not meant to be” belief system kicks in for me in these situations. And it is exactly that. If something doesn’t turn out the way I think it should (like me getting the series regular gig) then I am being protected for a reason. I’m not meant to be there. It’s freeing me up for something else that is. And if I am meant to be there, then I’ll be there. It’s out of my hands. Easy to say, hard to do. But it’s getting easier. So it’s not so much of a let down but a let go. Let go of things that aren’t within our power. Either way, I wish you the best. Always.
So, after reading that amazing reply of encouragement and brilliant perspective (Hello? “A let go, not a let-down”? That’s awesome!) I asked Peggy if she might like to expand a bit on her mindset about such things to develop a full-on Your Turn. And being the rockstar that she is, she did. And here it is!
Not Meant to Be
I have a new philosophy about acting. After watching my friends beat themselves up over things (and one quite literally!), it occurs to me that these are not problems; these are only opportunities. I know it makes us crazy waiting to find out if we got the gig, but does it affect the outcome?
Probably not. It could be a done deal before we even begin to read for it. All I can do is to gauge my own personal progress. Am I further along than I was a year ago? Hell yeah. And if not, I can do something about that. I can only control what I can control.
I’ve come to believe that some things are meant to be and some just aren’t. Simple, right? Hell no! And when that job I wanted so desperately doesn’t come along — and I was so right for it by the way — and goes to someone else, it wasn’t mine to begin with.
I take great comfort in knowing that this happens all the time. The two most famous examples I can think of are Lisa Kudrow and Billy Crystal. Lisa Kudrow tested for the part of Roz on Frasier. The part that eventually went to Peri Gilpin. Tough break, right? Gotta beat yourself up over that. But guess what came along? Friends. Win/win.
And Billy Crystal is the one that really gets me. Up until the very last minute, he was part of the original cast of Saturday Night Live. The ORIGINAL groundbreaking cast! Cut at the last minute. That one really hurts. But he recovered nicely, huh? Maybe even surpassing the fame he would have achieved there. It wasn’t meant to be.
So for me, if I don’t book that job, I can only believe that I am being protected from something that isn’t right for me. I may never know what that is, but I truly believe that. If I had booked that job that I tested for, I wouldn’t have the time to spend with my mother who is completely bedridden now. I wouldn’t have the time to be with her. And for that I am truly grateful. Wasn’t meant to be. This is. Maybe that job would have ended my relationship. Maybe the next one will lead me to the love of my life. Who knows? But I trust that I am exactly where I need to be.
Bonnie Gillespie is living her dreams by helping others figure out how to live theirs. Wanna work with Bon? Start here. Thanks!
Originally published by Actors Access at http://more.showfax.com/columns/avoice/archives/000782.html. Please support the many wonderful resources provided by the Breakdown Services family. This posting is the author’s personal archive.