Oh, okay. NOW I get it.
So, I had been asking dearest besties why it is I’m so angry lately.
(It’s really flippin’ annoying. I’ve been a big-ass ball of rage for about two months and while I want to blame it on dieting — since I can’t blame it on Keith anymore (he’s been almost perfect, lately) — I can’t really figure out what the eff has made me so “default mode: bitchcakes” lately. REALLY not fun.)
Well, y’know, I’ve been off message boards for like three months now.
I guess I never realized how much of my angries need to get out via Internet rage! I NEED to be angry at a troll or a spammer or a scammer! I NEED to be pissed at a poseur! A-ha!!
Without this outlet, there is nothing but the REAL people in my REAL life and suddenly I’m skating on the edge and being MAD like all the flippin’ time!!! (Okay, that’s an exaggeration. It’s more like a tenth of my days, but that’s enough to be really annoying and confounding. I like to be the happy. I idle at feeling really damn good.)
So, apparently, some part of me knew that’s what I needed and I signed on to Yahoo! Answers (after a Google Alert sent me to a question about Showfax membership). I answered that question and then realized I could earn points by answering more. Hello, addiction? Here’s a fix! I’m sooooooooooo there, OCD. Thankee.
(Not like I have other shit to do, right? Um, hi. Casting four films, producing a showcase, updating the top-selling book, writing the weekly column, exec-producing a film and a web-series. Okay. Hi. Life?)
And then today I had the audacity to answer a question about a blog where a guy posts copyrighted information about auditions (and all I did was say that this type of thing — even if it doesn’t ask for money from actors — can qualify as a “scam” because it’s reproducing copyrighted information, distributing it worldwide, and giving wannabe actors the impression that they’ve got a shot at roles that are being cast exclusively via agent-casting director relationships and such, not even going out on public breakdowns *within* the industry, much less on a BLOGSPOT blog).
Oops.
Now I’m being hit with:
If you see castingq’s other answers, she says “I write a weekly column for actors and have also written several acting books.” That sounds like the scam to me. Casting Directors selling books, and taking big money to do those “cold reading workshops”. Cause casting directors like to take money from actors too.
GAWD casting directors can be SO ANAL!
and:
castinq’s is Bonnie Gillespie. And yeah all she is about is selling books.
and:
It’s pretty pathetic that Bonnie Gillespe comes in here and bashes Alan. He has been in here for ages helping us with all kinds of answers, then she comes in here and acts ike a know it all. Check out her page at IMDb……
https://www.imdb.com/name/nm1024379/
She has hardly cast anything and she writes all these books and does seminars. Look like shes ony into making money. What a joke.
(Hey, buddy, thanks for driving up my StarMeter! Woo! Yay!)
Wow.
Suddenly, I’m reminded why I dialed back my interaction with web-boards earlier this year… but now it’s making TONS of sense why I’m feeling so much RAGE about nothing to rage about, because obviously I used to have an outlet (haters, poseurs, wannabes, shills on any number of web-boards) and now I just have my REAL life, which has no space for anger.
But the emotion has to go somewhere, right?
Ah, I get it! I get it!
Thank you, silly question about whether someone’s copyright-infringement-filled blog is a scam and my knee-jerk reaction to answer that it might be, if it’s ripping anyone else off or providing false hope. Thank you for subjecting me to the hate that’s out there — a delicious reminder about why I like the REAL LIFE so, so, so much better.
And now, finally, an understanding of WHY this built-up energy hasn’t had a good place to go in too many months.
Maybe I’ll take up masturbating.
I mean, really!
Bonnie Gillespie is living her dreams by helping others figure out how to live theirs. Wanna work with Bon? Start here. Thanks!
Comments
wait, did someone say the M word? like franny always says – nothing like the pleasure of your own company 😉
Posted by: Frances Uku at April 4, 2008 7:43 PM
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UGH! Some people!! Hope it all gets better!!
You’ve been tagged… https://vertical-chaos.blogspot.com/2008/04/oh-helen-why-p.html
Posted by: Beth at April 5, 2008 6:46 AM
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I don’t want to go Dr. Laura on you (after all, I don’t have a degree in physiology), or worse…DR. PHIL (I have hair and no need to poke my nose in other people’s business and then judge them for it), but having made those disclaimers…
You dialed back your internet involvement, yet you still feel unfocused rage.
Maybe it’s something you need? Or even like?
Just a thought…
Um…as for the solution…well…for my selfish purient interests, I’ll say go for it, babe!
😉
Posted by: Hal at April 5, 2008 11:40 AM
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“She has hardly cast anything. What a joke!”
No, that’s the joke. Shit, you’ve done more in this town than most people can do in the span of their entire life. I guess there are more JayGatsby’s (who could forget him, sheesh) out there than I realized. Maybe karma will swing back and kick them in the balls.
Or you could just yell at Hal. (He did say go for it) 😉
Posted by: CJC at April 6, 2008 9:51 PM
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Your rage = I get a laugh. And I am in a business that needs all the laughs I can get. Especially when you say the “m” word. Prurient, as Beth said? You bet! Made me spit diet coke on the monitor — wasn’t expecting it.
I gave up the internet for lent. It was mildly annoying to me, but I am told it made me more mildly annoying than usual. Tell me you jumped all over those weenie-brains’ shiat.
Posted by: Maria at April 7, 2008 11:26 AM
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Thank you ALL for the feedback. You’re wonderful. 🙂
Frances Uku: Right on, babe. RIGHT! ON! Delicious! 🙂
Beth: Ooh! A tagging? Yay! Gotta check that out. Thanks! And yeah, things are better. Venting helps. 😉
Hal: Definitely something I thought about. We were actually out for our walk a couple of weeks ago and I hypothesized that anger in some area of my life helps me focus on other areas — permitting me to do really well in those other areas. Still not sure I have a handle on exactly what it’s about (I’m also monkeying with my estrogen, lately, which certainly could have a lot to do with it), but I’m trying to just observe it and not judge it so damn much as being a negative presence.
Glad you support the solution. 😉 Seems to be a popular one. Hee!
CJC: Fun stuff, huh? Now they’re going back through and voting “Best Answer” on anything I’ve answered at Yahoo — always choosing *anything but my answer* as the best answer. Sheesh! That’s some obsession, there. (Yes, I realize the irony, as I’m also checking back to see what’s happening there. I know.)
And I *could* yell at Hal. 😉 That’s always fun! Hee!
Maria: I am so glad you find laughter when you visit my blog. That makes me very happy. 🙂 {{{hugs}}}
So glad you even got a spit-take out of it!!! Hee! You’re just the cutest!
YOU GAVE UP THE ‘NET FOR LENT????? Holy cow, woman!!!!!!!! Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And fascinating that it made you more mildly annoying in real life! Fascinating!
Nah. Didn’t do any jumping all over shiat. Just set ’em straight in the “Is Bonnie Gillespie a SCAM” thread they started an hour after I made this post and laughed as I saw them bash, bash, bash me. Then laughed at me for getting — and getting again — sucked in. LOL
Thanks again, everyone! XO
Posted by: Bon at April 7, 2008 9:47 PM