I’m an A-Hole

Generally, I’m a big fan of me. (Of course, I have my low-self-esteem moments.) But especially lately, I’ve been a real Bon-lover. (It’s just been a really good life these days.)
But I think I may be a pretty big A-HOLE. (I’ll let y’all tell me.) Now, I don’t know if being an a-hole makes me like myself less or just causes me to be a little more aware that casting will, eventually, take its toll on a perfectly nice human being, causing her to be almost completely intolerant of clueless actors. (And then I realize that I have never really been “perfectly nice” in my life. Even at my most charming, I’m still a pretty sarcastic brat.)
Anyway, it seems as if I’m on a roll. Last week, I wrote about actors who can’t read. Today, I put out audition appointments for three of the short films I’m casting and, without any sugar-coating, made it VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY clear that actors who cannot meet requirements as listed need to DECLINE THE AUDITION.
Christensen family photo.
This isn’t because I don’t love actors. This isn’t because I’m not thrilled to see actors bring this amazing material to life. This is because I am serving the needs of a producer and THREE directors in one day of prereads, and with thousands of submissions, if actors can’t make it through the list of required elements, GOOD. That helps me filter out more people.
But I feel like a total asshole because, for the first time, when an actor comes back to me with an, “I can’t make it at the assigned preread appointment time. Could you perhaps see me another day?” I’m replying with a, “Nope. Sorry. We’ll get you in on the next one.” (I usually would bend over backwards to try and make it work out, regardless of the increase in my own stress level to do so.)
I’m predicting that it’s only going to get more difficult to see every actor I want to see for every role, the farther along I get in my casting career. I guess I’d better get over this feeling now, huh?

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  1. Avatar Ed R July 14, 2006 at 6:48 pm

    You need to do what you need to do. Not every casting director has your workload,and it’s in your favor that you recognize the a-hole tendencies and feel bad about them,but you have to do them anyway.

  2. Avatar drc July 14, 2006 at 7:17 pm

    You are not an asshole…actors as a rule are very self-centered…they have to be to do that job…you just need to learn to say no without the guilt.

  3. Avatar Joni July 14, 2006 at 7:20 pm

    OK – so now I’m singing Dennis Leary’s I’m an Asshole song in my head.
    “Sometimes I park in the handicapped spaces
    While handicapped people
    Make handicapped faces……….
    cuz I’m an Asshole (he’s an asshole, what an asshole)”
    Guess that does nothing to help you feel better. But you know, it sort of made me smile.
    your asshole cousin

  4. Avatar Babes July 14, 2006 at 9:36 pm

    Bon, next time you are in an audition room or responding to an actor’s e-mail and the thought crosses your mind, “I’m such an A-hole!” – you need to add:
    “I am an AMAZING-hole.”
    p.s. it is so not a casting director’s job to bend over backwards for actors. the fact that i know you will continue doing so WHEN YOU CAN is exactly why you are such an…well you know what.
    p.p.s. day one of two of ParentGate is over (phew) and so far I have this exchange to report:
    Mom: (talking about the intense politics created by her Machiavellian elementary school principal)
    Me: But how can it be political!? It’s about kids! It’s about learning!
    Mom: (grabbing my arm, raising my arm in the air) LOOK! LOOK! We’ve got another idealist in the family!
    Me: Um…and you didn’t notice this about me before now? Why else would I have just said I’m probably going to starve for ten years to write plays?
    Mom: No that’s just stu- (stopping herself, after clearly annunciating “stu”)
    Me: What??
    Mom: Some other word.
    Me: I heard what you said.
    Mom: What did I say?
    Me: You said I was stupid.
    (crickets chirping)
    Later in the evening:
    Me: Hey look, [there’s a store called] Clothes Minded!

  5. Avatar Aleta July 14, 2006 at 11:10 pm

    You are most definately not an A-hole. Professional, practical, and pragmatic are words that come to mind regarding what you’re doing for this audition. Nothing A-hole about any of that.

  6. Avatar Bon July 15, 2006 at 2:41 am

    Phew! Proof I’m not an asshole, right here. Woo!

  7. Avatar Ed R July 15, 2006 at 9:04 am

    All those p-words!

  8. Avatar Hannah July 15, 2006 at 4:35 pm

    Bon–I just can’t believe that you’re an a-hole. I just. Can’t.
    Saying “no” doesn’t make anyone an a-hole. Particularly because it isn’t that you’re saying “no” to be malicious. You’re saying “no” because people cannot follow SIMPLE INSTRUCTIONS.

  9. Avatar Nikki July 17, 2006 at 8:51 am

    Well, I don’t even know what an audition appointment on actors access looks like (doesn’t bode too well for my success in landing an audition, does it?!), but I am certain that you are not an a-hole. Following directions is a part of life.


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