“Toldja!”

“Whatever.”

Laughter and eye-rolls and playful shoving.

“The next time I say I’m 99.999999% sure, you’ll believe me now.”

“I always believe you! That’s the problem.”

A wink, a grin as the walk continues.

“It works with anything. It can be for money or for an A+ or for anything!”

“Can it be for something bad?”

“Why would you want to manifest something bad?”

The walking stops. Standing in first position, second position, third position, fourth position, fifth position. First, second, third, fourth, fifth.

“I mean… like I want to manifest a three-legged dog. Can I do that?”

“Why would you want a dog to have three-legs?”

First, second, third, fourth, fifth.

“That’s not it. I mean, I guess I want to be super-specific to be sure it works.”

“Yeah, but THAT want? The three-legged want? That’s sad. It’s mean. It’s struggling.”

First, second, third… the walking resumes.

“Oh. I guess I never thought about that.”

“Stop using your head at all! What’s the FEEEEEEELING you want?”

“Um…”

“Because if I want to see a dog, a dog of any kind, it’s a sweet dog, a pretty dog, a happy dog, a playful dog, a so much love jumping all over me that I have to resist all the slobbery kisses but I kinda don’t want to kind of dog.”

“Wow.”

Again, a stop.

“What?”

“I mean… that’s… um, how do you do that?”

“Do what?”

Now there’s twirling in circles without much intention. Just killing time with the flow of the skirt and the lightheadedness that comes from moving a body around in place.

“How do you… get to those feelings? Like, you didn’t even describe the dog and I could see him.”

“THAT’s how it works!! You have to trust me!”

The circles turn into skipping and now walking again, but with a tipsy weave to the path.

“Get to the feelings. Hmm. Okay. I want a hundred dollars.”

“What. Is. The. Feeling. Dummy?!?”

“It’s my money! It feels good to have something I didn’t have before!”

The most overly dramatic, exasperated exhale and slump anyone has ever seen.

“Look. Ugh. I think you’re trying too hard. I put on my bingo card that I wanted pennies. Shiny, glowing, see ’em all over the streets pennies. And even if I couldn’t stop to pick one up, I knew it was for me because I manifested it! I did that! And that day I saw two right together and then another few a little farther apart and then I picked up the next ones I saw and they were just showing up and showing up and showing up! I imagined making a wall of the shiniest pennies or even leaving some pennies tarnished so they each had a different color and I could glue them on a wall and make a mural and it would look like a rainbow but all in penny-tones. Y’know?”

Like it was the most logical leap to make when thinking about money, ever.

“Yeah… uh… penny-tones. I’m not sure I know. But, yeah, I’m seeing it be easy for you, so I guess I kind of get it?”

“That question mark is why it’s not easy for you,” she said into a shrug into a cartwheel. “Oh, hey! A PENNY!”

Luminous Void Tarot spread for Bonnie Gillespie's third assignment, Writing for the Tarot with Ariel Gore
Click to enbiggen.

Manifestation Bingo — by Bonnie Gillespie, 6 November 2020
assignment 3 for Ariel Gore’s Writing with the Tarot
tarot deck from The Luminous Void

Tarot Spread 3
6 of Swords, 2 of Discs, 19. The Sun
dialogue-heavy vignette between the two characters working something out based on the cross-wise card
6 = harmony, achievement (domestic, healing)
swords = air, thought, communication, mental (Libra)
6 of Swords = hard times you’re making the best of; hope is on the horizon
2 = balance, partnership, receptive
discs = earth, wealth, material, practical (Taurus?)
2 of Discs = Where to? Let’s go!
The Sun = radiates renewal with plenty of love and warmth for everyone (Leo + Aquarius)

I’m exhausted so barely proofing this. I’m fascinated that these cards keep wanting me to write about childhood. It didn’t shock me the first time. It was interesting the second time. And now apparently that’s my jam? I guess that’s part of the whimsy of the artwork on the cards combined with the work I’m doing in therapy right now. Hmm…

G’nite!

Bonnie Gillespie autographed the internet


Enoughness is an inside job… and sometimes you need a guide to find your way there. Let Bonnie Gillespie get you started.

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2 Comments

  1. Avatar Stephanie Bergeron November 12, 2020 at 5:42 pm

    What an interesting rhythm and layered draw this piece has… first, second, third, fourth, fifth… I loved that I could really feel it. The transcendence of language and storytelling is always fascinating.

    Reply
    1. Bonnie Gillespie Bonnie Gillespie November 17, 2020 at 2:02 am

      Thank you. So far outside my comfort zone, doing this.

      Reply

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