Okay, so I’m pretty freakin’ excited. And I know I’m facing some major change. The major way I know I’m facing some major change is that I’m majorly sick. And I rarely get sick. Not like this, anyway. This is the kind of sick I’ve only been a few times in my life. That inexplicably sick and stuck and feeling like a used kleenex kind of sick that has no connection to any contagion or any amount of run-down and instead seems to line up with a spiritual or psychic block on its way out.
I got this sick before The Age 28 Epiphany. I got this sick before I came out about my damage that I had been keeping private for so long. I’m about to do something very scary and very wonderful and I didn’t get this sick ’til the moment I knew I would be doing this.
What is “this”?
I had read about my friend-and-mentor Colleen Wainwright’s Clutter Busting back in October. I remember at the time being too overwhelmed by the contents of that post to comment, and instead of commenting, I took a screen-cap of the cute little frog photo and added it to my “smile file.”
Of course, I’m a clutter-keeper. I’m not an out-and-out hoarder (the show by the same name has taught me I am sooo much healthier than I sometimes think I might be), but I keep stuff. Usually stuff well-meaning folks give me. “It’s a gift! I can’t get rid of it.” (Some of that issue has softened with my decision to just start re-gifting stuff that may mean more to someone else than it could ever mean to me — especially when I’m in a place that doesn’t allow me to afford what I’d like really to buy for someone.)
Usually, I move every couple of years. With the exception of my childhood years, I have changed residences at least every two years. Until now. Keith and I have lived in our beach pad for almost six years now. And moving every two years helps keep clutter down, as there’s always that big, “I’d rather toss you out than move you,” conversation with a lot of the stuff. So, now, we have a bunch more stuff than I even understand having.
So, when Colleen mentioned Wednesday that her Clutter Busting guru, Brooks Palmer, was going to be doing a Clutter Busting workshop in Los Angeles this weekend — and that as of that morning there was one spot left — I knew this was my breakthrough, on its way.
See, I played The Prosperity Game with AnnaVo last year. We each spent $5,565,000 in psychic money and worked through a fuckton of blocks about our relationship with money. It was awesome.
I keep getting emails from my nearest and dearest, telling me they see me so poised for the tier jump that’s coming. I feel that too. I really do. But there’s a block.
And I as I’ve gleefully — yes, even in my sick place — gone around the house and pulled things to take to Brooks (we each bring a bin of “stuff” for him to Clutter Bust for us — rather — to *teach* us why we hang onto the stuff, so we can go home and start removing the stuff ourselves), I’ve said, “Well, can’t I just throw this out, now that I’m looking at it and knowing I don’t need to keep it?” and I’ve answered to myself, “No. It’s time to understand why you’ve ever felt the need to hang on to this. And fix that.”
So, I’m off to fix that. I am so very, very, very excited for where I’ll be the next time I sit down at this computer (“where” being an emotional, spiritual, mental place, more than physical, of course). I’m not expecting anything other than change and flow and the gift that is Clutter Busting.
Again, thank you Colleen, for bringing yet another gift into my life at the exact right moment.
This is a gift I will keep!