Taking a deep breath as I show up to the keyboard to put this together. It was *supposed* to be the “last chance to register” post for our six-week intensive called SMFA Online.

But instead, it’s a post of plug-pulling. Bait-cutting. Cancelling the offering and changing direction a bit.

Doing my best NOT to be hard on myself about it.

Being hard on yourself doesn’t work, anyway. So why do it?

I’m turning this new “free time” into head-down time for the enoughness offerings, my next book (title’s still top secret), and some private coaching I hadn’t planned on doing!

That’s far better use of the energy than beating myself up about why we couldn’t make this program work. Call it poor timing. Call it poor planning. Call it poor alignment (yeah, yeah, yeah… I’m lookin’ at you, Mercury retrograde). But for whatever reason, there aren’t enough people interested in a deep-dive mastermind intensive offered over the course of six weeks for us to produce the experience.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

One of my colleagues in a ladybiz mastermind I’m a part of asked me what went wrong with this one. (That’s a part of the work we do in that mastermind. Go to the black box of what doesn’t work in our business. Recalibrate for future offerings. Make improvements.)

Honestly, I don’t know.

My goal was to make up for the fact that I’m not teaching as much Self-Management for Actors as I usually do. I’m not touring to New York or London or Chicago or even doing as many in-person intensives in Los Angeles this year. It’s… a big change.

I’m so very accustomed to having so much contact with y’all during these SMFA intensives that I guess maybe I felt… bad? Yeah. I felt like I was cutting y’all off from something you wanted.

So I created something new.

That only a handful of people wanted.

And now we’re calling the whole thing off. (Don’t worry. I’m taking care of those who *did* enroll. They’re getting an email shortly with all the specifics.)

When my colleague asked whether maybe y’all wanted something that’s more in the direction of where we’re headed — less headshots and resumés and demo reels and actor submission profiles and agents and managers and cover letters and social media strategies, instead, more woo-woo and mindset and epigenetics and neuroscience and habit-breaking and life-shifting and leadership and world-changing — I realized I keep underestimating people.

I keep letting *my* low enoughness about where I’m headed (due to lack of practice… nothing more) dictate how I show up for you.

So I keep showing up with the over-developed muscle for type and brand and targeting and content creation and Brandprov… when you *too* may be hungry for a deep dive on numerology or how the human brain is wired for safety and survival and how that means we regularly block our own success without even being aware of it most of the time.

Ah… so with that, I am using this was-going-to-be-a-sales-post post to officially cancel SMFA Online (again, those of you who registered will receive an email shortly with next steps) and to invite anyone who’d like to do a one-on-one coaching session with me to comment below to get that ball rolling at the “I refuse to be my own upper-limit problem” rate.

Meaning, I usually only coach members of Get in Gear for the Next Tier, but for this post only, I’ll open up my coaching calendar to those of you who’ve never experienced the greatness of those 100 days. Just reply for more info and we’ll start the process.

And… no… the coaching session needn’t be about Self-Management for Actors. It can be. But it can also be about sobriety or Whole30 or astrology or leadership or boundaries or enoughness practices or whatever might serve you and support you the most right now.

There.

I have officially provided an alternative for those who ARE disappointed that I’m not touring to your city this year, nor doing much SMFA work in Los Angeles… and you can customize this experience to whatever you’d like it to be.

And now… a bubble bath. That’s one of the ways I keep myself from being hard on myself about “failures.” Unapologetic self-care.

If you take nothing else from this post, take that: You can probably be kinder to yourself than you are being right now. Try it. It may change your life so your storytelling gifts can change others’ lives too.

Sending so much love your way!

Bonnie Gillespie is living her dreams by helping others figure out how to live theirs. Wanna work with Bon? Start here. Thanks!