So.
Gather ’round. This is a long one.
Y’all know this trip is one I’d been looking forward to for months — long before the physical weirdness set in, putting me on 3+ months of bedrest and chasing symptoms of a physical diagnosis for a condition that doesn’t exist. Healing has been my fulltime job — I’ve spared no expense, turned over every stone, and surrendered fully.
Nothing did more than create MOMENTS of relief. Then last month, Laura Shapanus reminded me about Dr. John Sarno and the mind-body work of healing.
I noted that IN JANUARY, I had journaled, “This feels like an upper-limit problem (see The Big Leap).” I put the words in my journal, “Except this is ACTUAL physical pain. So, it can’t be an upper-limit problem. But that’s totally what this feels like, with all the weightloss and fitness and financial success and relationship bliss. It’s as though my body thinks there’s gotta be a catch.”
So, everything lines up that in Chicago I’ll meet with a colleague of Dr. Sarno’s who of course confirms I’m on the right track. Asks why I’m not working with The Hendricks Institute in California.
It’s like I had to connect with the amazing Dr. John Stracks in order to be told I’m wearing magical ruby slippers. In Chicago, everything began to shift. I journaled for hours and cried for hours and really dug into where I’ve physicalized my emotions for decades in some cases, sure I’m “fine” because, thanks to compartmentalization, I AM, right?
No.
The New York chapter of my trip was all about reclaiming a portion of a level of activity that’s nowhere close to bedrest level: walking everywhere, even returning to my pole studio. No longer living like a PATIENT.
Welp, as I continue this nearly month-long adventure away from home, today I walk into my Toronto condo, home for the quietest leg of this trip… and I am blown away. But not at all surprised.
Knowing this week will be all about working through repressed memories and physicalized emotions, I head up the elevator doing EFT and reminding myself I’m enough.
What’s on the wall in the entryway of my condo (with a GORGEOUS view, BTW)? You guessed it. #YouAreEnough #IAmEnough #IBelongHere ❤️
I’m going in, #SMFAninjas and #soberachievers — this is big work. So excited to come out on the other side.
A healer healed.
Bonnie Gillespie is living her dreams by helping others figure out how to live theirs. Wanna work with Bon? Start here. Thanks!