I’ve felt 10,000 emotions in this space.
I’ve called The Pole Garage my gym, my sorority, my church.
My marriage was at its worse in 2012 when I first enrolled in classes here. I desperately hoped I could bring back some life to our strained partnership. But within moments it was clear; my pole journey was for me.
I started out heavy, out-of-shape, sad, lonely, and sooooo frustrated at all I could not do. And as each tear fell, so did a shred of the fear. I knew a future me existed who could fly. 💫 I saw glimpses of that girl as I slogged through challenge after challenge. My biggest accomplishment was not hating myself when I had the misfortune of seeing myself struggling in the mirror.
Over time, I healed wee bits of my marriage. I got sober. I transformed my body thanks to #Whole30. 💃🏽 At 47, I was nearing high school weight and hitting 5 to 8 pole and Pilates classes per week. I was celebrating a body I never dreamed I could have.
And then eight months ago, I felt a “catch” in my hip. An annoyance that would eventually land me in the hospital and then on bedrest for more than a quarter of 2018. This would launch me into a deep mind-body healing journey that has legitimately changed who I am to the core. 🧘🏽♀️
In the incredibly lonely process that is healing, I began to reclaim parts of me I lost as a child when I was violated and disregarded. And as I rewired my brain’s need to create pain to get me to listen to its wisdom, my body let me know it was aching to return home to the pole.
And tonight, I flipped upside down, took my hands off the pole, and said gleefully, “Like riding a bike!” (something I *actually* cannot do, but that’s not the point). 🤣
The flood of emotions that washed over me represent many of those I’ve explored in this space, and I am forever grateful for the journey that led me to who I now am. I can only imagine who I will next become. 🦋
Because THIS is only the beginning, y’all! 💗
Bonnie Gillespie is living her dreams by helping others figure out how to live theirs. Wanna work with Bon? Start here. Thanks!