I mentioned last month that I ghosted my mailing list this summer. Became absent from my blog. Stayed off social. Just kind of pulled away from a whole lot. Slept.

(AKA — I experienced the Balsamic lunar phase by progression. It’s a dark time.)

As I’m slowly easing back into being connected — still very much choosing quality over quantity, trusting that decades of momentum is more than enough PRESENCE for me to feel that I have to actually be the one doing all of the presencing everywhere all the time now — I’m realizing I have a fabulous check-in for whether I want to connect or not.

Do I feel half-hearted about it?
Or am I feeling whole-hearted?

Related (from my Expansive Capacity mastermind):

There’s a word that’s a close relative to shalom: shalem (pronounced shalaym). It means WHOLE. And in some interpretations of greeting someone with “Shalom?” we’re actually asking, “How’s your wholeness?”

I. Love. This.

So much so that when I first heard it, I decided that’s the interpretation I’ll not only stick with when I hear “Shalom?” as a question but it’s one I’ll use on myself when I’m feeling NOT present.

I’ll go, “Shalaym, Bon?” and my brain will take a sec to determine how much wholeness I’m feeling. Am I present? Am I enough? Am I taking responsibility for how good I feel or am I outsourcing all that to some future time or some past state I wish to reattain or something someone else is ultimately in control of?

* * *

To this practice, I’ve added, “How much heartedness are you feeling, Bon?”

And if I’m half-hearted about it — especially when it comes to things like connecting with other people — I’m not gonna do it.

As I do more things that light me up (like creating these or building this or prepping for this), energy spent on things that fatigue me, stress me out, or simply bore me seems like energy I’m disrespecting.

“Energy is currency. How do you wish to spend it?” — Either Deepak Chopra or Wayne Dyer said that in a book they coauthored, which I listened to on cassette tape in the ’90s.

Looking up exactly who said that would’ve been hugely important to me before.


Eh. I’d be doing it half-heartedly at best. So… someone else can do that.

What is it that you’re doing that someone else could do?
Or that everyone could live without doing at all?

Where are you spending energy in ways that are wasteful, unpleasant, or ripe for creating regret?

And if you can’t STOP doing half-hearted things — or things half-heartedly — could you take a break? Rest? Delegate? Let some things that were not getting your whole heart anyway sit un-done for a bit while you reconnect with yourself in some really wholeness-creating ways?

I’d love to see you commit to some shalem. Be more whole-hearted. AND… I’d love for you to know that when you hear from ME? Whether it’s in my role as the creator of Self-Management for Actors or as the creator of Chart Harmony, it’ll always involve mindset and enoughness and it’ll always be from a place of whole-heartedness and wholeness. That’s a promise.

Here’s hoping that feels really expansive for both of us!


Bonnie Gillespie is living her dreams by helping others figure out how to live theirs. Wanna work with Bon? Start here. Thanks!

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  1. Jillian Ferry October 25, 2021 at 11:24 pm

    I love YOU, Bonnie! And as always this blog came at just the most perfect time. Gunna redirect this energy and spend it wisely this Halloweek 🎉

  2. Jesse Andrew October 25, 2021 at 11:57 pm

    I love this so hard, Bon! No matter what my focus is in life, I love it when I see a BonBlast in my inbox. I thank you sincerely for your positivity and for all the delicious nuggets you share with the world! This is why I stay on your mailing list no matter what I’m doing in life. I always enjoy what you’re sharing- always uplifting and insightful, and certainly never negative or dull. And it can apply in so many different areas of life, both in the creative realm and the “everything else” realm. Because of what you continue to do and the goodness you continually and tirelessly put out there, I love ya, Bon. As you know, I’ve been following you for years. I sincerely hope that we get to work together or connect creatively on some level in the future. You are truly a special lady and I’m very thankful that I’m in your orbit! Muah!

  3. Charly October 26, 2021 at 2:44 am

    I’m familiar with the word “shalem” (“whole”) in Hebrew, which comes from the same root as shalom. Is “shalaym” from a dialect/language I’m less familiar with, or is it an unconventional transliteration?

  4. Linda Jacobsen October 26, 2021 at 2:55 am

    Yesyesyes! Love this. And I love where you are!
    This is in my happy life script I read every morning and evening:
    “I say yes to what makes my energy flow. What makes me enthusiastic, warm or happy. When I say yes to something it’s wholehearted. If I don’t feel a wholehearted yes in my body, I thankfully say no. I trust this no will make space for a hell yes!”
    Really helps me making decisions! I’m creating space for higher vibes and a higher tier (are they different¿).
    I also state: “I am present. My soul is present in my body. I in-spirit my body. I embody my soul. The soul.”
    So much of today’s conversations about performance, work, goals, success, happiness etc. focuses merely on a mind level. But when you let the mind harmonise together with the body and presence/energy, yummie. I love how the mind works, but there is so much more to life (and to getting what you want) than the mind can comprehend.
    Love where you are!

    1. Linda Jacobsen October 26, 2021 at 2:59 am

      I mean “I love how the mind works, AND that there is so much more to life than the mind can comprehend.” 🙂

  5. Allison Grischow October 26, 2021 at 7:19 am

    Thank you for this blog. I’ve been noticing the areas of my life and business where I feel “halfhearted” versus the ones where I’m all in and it feels so so important. Thank you for putting into words something I hadn’t been able to fully articulate, and for the reminder that sometimes delegating is the answer, and sometimes it’s about just letting it go. 💛

  6. Jennifer Bates October 26, 2021 at 9:18 am

    I loved this as I have had a similar experience. I took 4 days off the grid by myself because I was exhausted physically and emotionally. I came back more calm and feeling so much more accepting of whatever I accomplished in a day versus judging the crap out of myself and always feeling behind. I think having a break from the external noise allowed me to come back and reevaluate what I really want and what success means to me. I think I might be ready to let some stuff go that isn’t aligned. What is great is that I don’t see it as quitting and in my heart the love for those things has nowhere diminished. I just know what I dont want now and the whole process of learning that has been such an education. I also just turned 40 and it feels like I’ve finally become a grownup who has more agency and less tolerance for bullshit.

  7. Pam Tierney October 29, 2021 at 5:26 pm

    What is it that you’re doing that everyone could live without doing at all? DAYUM. Did I need to read this today. I am such a rabbit hole burrower, needing to make sure I am saying things correctly, getting the facts straight, editing myself. It’s exhausting. And totally unnecessary. I hereby give myself permission to not have to be exact anymore. And if I don’t have an answer or make a mistake, I still have a place in this world, I still deserve to exist, to take up space. My world won’t end if I don’t have all the answers.


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