I mentioned last month that I ghosted my mailing list this summer. Became absent from my blog. Stayed off social. Just kind of pulled away from a whole lot. Slept.
As I’m slowly easing back into being connected — still very much choosing quality over quantity, trusting that decades of momentum is more than enough PRESENCE for me to feel that I have to actually be the one doing all of the presencing everywhere all the time now — I’m realizing I have a fabulous check-in for whether I want to connect or not.
Do I feel half-hearted about it?
Or am I feeling whole-hearted?
Related (from my Expansive Capacity mastermind):
There’s a word that’s a close relative to shalom: shalem (pronounced shalaym). It means WHOLE. And in some interpretations of greeting someone with “Shalom?” we’re actually asking, “How’s your wholeness?”
I. Love. This.
So much so that when I first heard it, I decided that’s the interpretation I’ll not only stick with when I hear “Shalom?” as a question but it’s one I’ll use on myself when I’m feeling NOT present.
I’ll go, “Shalaym, Bon?” and my brain will take a sec to determine how much wholeness I’m feeling. Am I present? Am I enough? Am I taking responsibility for how good I feel or am I outsourcing all that to some future time or some past state I wish to reattain or something someone else is ultimately in control of?
To this practice, I’ve added, “How much heartedness are you feeling, Bon?”
And if I’m half-hearted about it — especially when it comes to things like connecting with other people — I’m not gonna do it.
As I do more things that light me up (like creating these or building this or prepping for this), energy spent on things that fatigue me, stress me out, or simply bore me seems like energy I’m disrespecting.
“Energy is currency. How do you wish to spend it?” — Either Deepak Chopra or Wayne Dyer said that in a book they coauthored, which I listened to on cassette tape in the ’90s.
Looking up exactly who said that would’ve been hugely important to me before.
Eh. I’d be doing it half-heartedly at best. So… someone else can do that.
What is it that you’re doing that someone else could do?
Or that everyone could live without doing at all?
Where are you spending energy in ways that are wasteful, unpleasant, or ripe for creating regret?
And if you can’t STOP doing half-hearted things — or things half-heartedly — could you take a break? Rest? Delegate? Let some things that were not getting your whole heart anyway sit un-done for a bit while you reconnect with yourself in some really wholeness-creating ways?
I’d love to see you commit to some shalem. Be more whole-hearted. AND… I’d love for you to know that when you hear from ME? Whether it’s in my role as the creator of Self-Management for Actors or as the creator of Chart Harmony, it’ll always involve mindset and enoughness and it’ll always be from a place of whole-heartedness and wholeness. That’s a promise.
Here’s hoping that feels really expansive for both of us!