Things to STOP Saying

Okay, so I catch myself saying “DUDE” a lot. Not out loud as much as in my head. I know that’s weird, but it’s like I use the word “DUDE” as a substitute for “dang” and “c’mon” and “are you kidding me” and “boy, please” and “seriously” (among other things).

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So, while I was thinking about the many ways in which I can use the word DUDE, I noticed a phrase that has LONG been a least favorite of mine (see item number six in the list of The Top 17.4 Ways To Piss Me Off) coming out of the mouth of a local morning show host ABOUT EVERY 20 SECONDS. Seriously.

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Watch channel 5 (the KTLA Morning Show) and listen to the chick–Michaela Pereira–during her entertainment news segment (the only time the guys on the crew will let her talk for more than a minute at a time) and COUNT how many times she asks, “Do you know what I mean?” She uses it as an effin’ punctuation mark to her EVERY sentence. Seriously, people, if someone doesn’t know what you mean, you can bet that same someone will ask you to clarify. Stop it. Dude.

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Well, I’ve also noticed that people have started saying “all of the sudden” instead of “all of a sudden” and I totally blame shows like Next and Parental Control and other MTV type programming for melting the brains right off kids and teaching them that however the hell they WANT to say it WORKS. (I mean, if the non-word alright can make its way into the dictionary, anything is possible. I actually heard a Real Worlder say, “Mark and I’s relationship is complicated.”) Yes, part of what I love about the (American) English language is how very OPEN to change it is. It’s also part of what makes me effin’ batshit crazy. *shudder*

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So, then I listened to myself to see if there is anything other than the internal DUDE that I’m saying too much. Something that I’m saying AS A FORM OF PUNCTUATION instead of as the words themselves. And I found it. I absolutely have a phrase that must be just as annoying to others as “Do you know what I mean?” is to me.

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“Here’s the thing.”

I start out about a third of my sentences with that. It’s basically a, “Here. Listen now. This is the important part.” And seriously, if you’re listening to me, it’s all important. You know that.
So, here it goes: I pledge to attempt to curtail my use of “here’s the thing” as a means of underscoring my most important points.

Dude.


Bonnie Gillespie is living her dreams by helping others figure out how to live theirs. Wanna work with Bon? Start here. Thanks!

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11 Comments

  1. Avatar PameLa October 31, 2006 at 9:25 am

    OK, Dudette… Now THAT’S the thing.

    Reply
  2. Avatar drc October 31, 2006 at 10:55 am

    I have noticed that the kids in my college classes say “like” a lot. Like, constantly, dude. Like, you know what I mean. Like, here’s the thing, they can’t say anything, like, you know, like intelligent. ARGGHHHH!!!!!

    Reply
  3. Avatar courtney October 31, 2006 at 11:21 am

    Ha! Funny stuff, dude. Always fun to hear others bugged by language misused. Like, you know? I recently started saying “for reals” and my boyfriend laments, “There is only one real!” Hee!

    Reply
  4. Avatar Anna October 31, 2006 at 11:42 am

    Dude. Here’s the thing. I feel ya. But mine’s and yours’ relationship can’t not get improved until you start to know what I mean. Know what I mean? Until then, I definately should be keeping you on a shorter grammatical/intention leash. KWIM???
    xo

    Reply
  5. Avatar Ellenlisa October 31, 2006 at 12:28 pm

    Dude. You’re funny. 🙂
    P.S. it’s still weird to me when dude is used for talking to females. But I admit I do it too. 🙂

    Reply
  6. Avatar Bon October 31, 2006 at 1:44 pm

    Re: PameLa’s OK, Dudette… Now THAT’S the thing.
    *snork* You made me laugh out loud, Pamela!
    Re: drc’s I have noticed that the kids in my college classes say “like” a lot. Like, constantly, dude. Like, you know what I mean. Like, here’s the thing, they can’t say anything, like, you know, like intelligent. ARGGHHHH!!!!!
    Did it cause you pain to even type that? I know it would’ve caused me great stress! LOL
    Re: courtney’s Ha! Funny stuff, dude. Always fun to hear others bugged by language misused. Like, you know? I recently started saying “for reals” and my boyfriend laments, “There is only one real!” Hee!
    You tell that boyfriend that there are totally a bazillion for reals. I mean, how could there NOT be? (PS–I’m still so jazzed that you have a professor.)
    Re: Anna’s Dude. Here’s the thing. I feel ya. But mine’s and yours’ relationship can’t not get improved until you start to know what I mean. Know what I mean? Until then, I definately should be keeping you on a shorter grammatical/intention leash. KWIM???
    xo
    If I didn’t love you so damn much, I’d have to kill you. For reals.
    Re: Ellenlisa’s Dude. You’re funny. 🙂
    P.S. it’s still weird to me when dude is used for talking to females. But I admit I do it too. 🙂
    *giggle* Isn’t it fun to be a hypocrite? Heeeeeeee! LOVE it!

    Reply
  7. Avatar Amy October 31, 2006 at 2:45 pm

    Here’s the thing, dude…you’re like uh so like uh funny…dude!

    Reply
  8. Avatar Ed R October 31, 2006 at 2:57 pm

    Could be worse, you coudl be Corey Feldman.
    😉
    MY ‘Here’s the Thing:’ is ‘Look- ‘.
    I mentally headbutt myself against the hardest wall I can find whenever I say it but I say it all teh damned time.

    Reply
  9. Avatar Maria October 31, 2006 at 6:58 pm

    Ha! (oops, I say Ha! a lot. Or is it alot? Maybe allot. Yeah.
    I hate “Being that….” When did “because” become a bad word?
    You struck a chord with English teachers and writers all over the world.

    Reply
  10. Avatar Mary Carlisle November 1, 2006 at 7:51 am

    i have been so sick lately and missed posting on here. Your funny Bonnie. I like your “rockstar” saying. I think this is what makes us charming in our own little ways.
    You should hear me,I’m “groovy”,swell,okay dokey. I’m sure this combined with my MinnesotA/Chicago accent is annoying to some people. LOL

    Reply
  11. Avatar Hal November 1, 2006 at 2:16 pm

    When I was in college in the 80’s, there seemed to be a disproportionate use of words like “thus” and “hence,” interchangeably. I don’t know the correct usage of each word, and frankly I don’t care. But the use of each word began to drive me crazy, so I clevely merged them together. Thus Hencely, I say “thus hencely,” or “hence thusly.”
    Aside from that, “irregardless,” drives me right up a wall. “Orientate” does, too. Not to mention “analyzation.”
    *horrors*

    Reply

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