Best and Worst Movies Ever

Next to Stick It, which is just totally the best movie ever, there is what will certainly be the BEST movie ever-ever, coming out in a couple of months. But first, I’ll talk about the worst movie ever.
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That’d be X-Men 3. Yes, Keith and I went to the midnight showing, thinking this movie would rock as hard as the first or second… and dammit to hell if that wasn’t just a big ol’ ball of suck! I mean, EVERY actor I cared a bit about watching got like a total of four minutes of screen time. Fine, fine, fine to bring on the newbies, but PLEASE could Sir Ian at least try NOT to do the schmacting thing? Could we get more than a SECOND of The Piano girl? And when Halle Berry has a “me-off” with a mirror image actor… well… no, there was way too much Halle on screen, really. Nowhere NEAR enough Hugh Jackman, though. But that’s a given. Oh, and can anyone see Famke as anything other than her character on Nip/Tuck? Oh well… at least the WORST actor from the first two films was dead early on.
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But there was a glimpse–just before the worst movie–of what surely will be the BEST movie EVER EVER… and that’s Snakes on a (Mother Fucking) Plane. Without question, this film has the most pre-opening-weekend buzz of any film EVER. Bless the blogs. Bless the concept. Bless the TITLE. I mean, c’mon!!! Greatness!
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Now, about two months ago, the brilliant Sassy McLassie sent me this link, where I first learned of Snakes on a (Mother Fucking) Plane. Without question, this was going to be a gorgeous film, just based on such entries.

But now that I’ve seen the ACTUAL trailer just before midnight in a dark room full of comic book junkies and virgins, I know for sure this WILL be the best movie EVER EVER EVER.
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In fact, as we walked home from the theatre, the most FREQUENT topic of conversation among the leaving-the-theatre types was NOT the bad movie we’d just seen. No, no… it was Snakes on a (Mother Fucking) Plane. Ahhhhhh, life is good. Hollywood takes care of us, even when we are sure we don’t love such film candy. And my goodness, if you DIDN’T know how badly you NEEDED a film like this in your life, you simply haven’t been paying attention.

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8 Comments

  1. Matt May 26, 2006 at 11:47 am

    I just read your Stick It re-cap. I thought Bring It On was this generations Citizen Cane but it sounds like Stick It will be challenging that title!

  2. Babes May 26, 2006 at 12:12 pm

    1) the comic book junkies = virgins
    2) I’m scared for the Knight Rider movie…I have my hopes built up and I’m worried that H-wood is going to totally ruin it.

  3. Bon May 26, 2006 at 1:02 pm

    Babes, they cannot ruin the Knight Rider movie. They just CAN’T.
    Well… I guess if they take it all too seriously and try to make a GOOD movie, then yeah, they could come up with something pretty craptacular.
    Hopefully they know better.
    Oh, and Matt, I’d have to agree that “Stick It” has edged out “Bring It On” in the classic movie category. But, just like this season’s “America’s Next Top Model,” I’d be okay with either girl winning.

  4. Bon May 26, 2006 at 3:33 pm

    Oh, and Keith says he’s lost all respect for me since I didn’t remove the G from “mother fucking” in my revised title for “Snakes on a Plane.”
    Pff.
    Respect.
    What the heck is THAT about?!?

  5. Babes May 26, 2006 at 7:36 pm

    I lost all respect for you when you inferred it is possible to taking Knight (Mother Fuckin) Rider too seriously.
    *tee hee*

  6. Babes May 27, 2006 at 12:42 am

    Please make a note:
    whenever i say *tee hee* that is code for,
    “I am sober right now.”
    Although that said, now I might try to trick you sometime.
    This is way too good. I have to write my own shit. Peace out.
    (laughing drunkenly. backspacing and rewriting. logging off to reunite a father and a daughter twenty years later…)

  7. Bon May 27, 2006 at 12:46 am

    Babes, you’re a goddess. *tee hee* 😉

  8. Erik May 27, 2006 at 8:46 am

    I am so fucking happy that you’re all over Snakes on a Motherfuckin(g) Plane and now I almost want to see the new X-Men movie so I can see the Soa(m)p trailer on a large screen!!!