One of the things I’m most grateful for right now is the *intentional* curating of a friendgroup made of fellow ladybiz besties that I’ve done since choosing sobriety in 2016. Past me was very smart to bring together virtual friendships in which topics of leadership, growth, and enoughness are always fair game.
Because these days, the ability to exchange text messages or to jump on Zoom with one of these spectacular humans just to check in, “How’s your head? How’s your heart? Are you refueling among all the space you’re holding for your community?” — it’s everything.
Since much of the WAY we experience our lives is through the vision of US reflected back to us by others, isolation (or extreme togetherness with people we don’t actually have that much in common with) can be not only a lonely thing but also one that confronts our self-concept!
There is no rulebook for this experience at an emotional level.
There are no guidelines for handling it all at our very core.
And if your inbox is anything like mine, it’s bursting at the seams with everyone offering a journal-with-me challenge and a daily livestream for exercise and the chance to collaborate on a virtual project and on and on and on.
In an attempt to prevent people from feeling the pain of isolation, the world is offering TOO MUCH for us to choose from… leading to many folks withdrawing more deeply, going further dark and disconnected. Introverting hard core.
Wondering, “What’s wrong with me?” when we’re not living the easily-adapted-virtual life we now see even MORE of in our social media feeds.
Take these words if they help you. I offer them with no attachment to what you may choose to feel about them.
There is no requirement for you to be productive.
There is no requirement for you to be reflective, still, quiet.
You don’t have to put on a show.
You don’t have to exercise online.
You don’t have to finally get to all those projects you never had time for.
You don’t have to improve your mind.
You don’t have to make the most of this time.
If your reaction to this is not *just* an exhale of relief that you have full permission to NOT make every! moment! count! right now but instead something more like validation that doing NOTHING is okay, I’ll mention that no matter what comes next, your choices need to be sustainable.
Emotionally sustainable. Mentally sustainable. Holistically sustainable.
It’s a bit like not bathing when you’re sick. At first, it’s due to priorities. Heal, sleep, be still… that comes first. Eventually, you’re just sort of living off the inertia of not having showered for a long stretch. And at some point, you force yourself to clean your body because OMG the funk! You’re disgusting yourself with the funk!
WHEN that moment hits with regard to all the things being flung at you right now — ways to fill your time and be productive and stay active — do not get overwhelmed with the options out there. Do not stress out that you’re doing it wrong. Do not create a whole new type of FOMO over what you *think* other people are doing with their quarantine experience.
This is unique in that while we’re ALL going through something “together,” our experiences are truly individual ones. There is no one right way to quarantine!
If all of this just feels like a LOT right now (and boy, I can get there with this; I feel it too — as sensitive critters who create art with our hearts for a living, we all get there), I’ll suggest that you sit with this question and let it be enough, as far as the deep shit goes.
Are you willing to find out who you are on the other side of this?
Keep yourself open to letting this experience teach you more about who you are at your core. Ask yourself who you’d like to be on the other side of this. Consider that there’s no need to overhaul your life, transform your body, start a business, fix your relationship, or finish all the books you promised yourself you’d read someday.
Simply ask who you’d like to be on the other side of this… and then gradually do some things to walk toward that person. Baby steps.
Everything we’re feeling is correct right now.
It’s all good.
NOTE: If “start a business” *is* on your list, I offer you my five steps to getting your most marketable idea off the ground — FREE — in this webinar. Bring a notepad and pen with you to the replay and dig in. I want you thriving no matter what’s going on in the world. This is how we can begin chipping away at it right now. EVERYONE is online right now in ways like never before and good Lord if you have the gift of doing virtual playdates with kids? You are NEEDED. Talk about a way to get revenue flowing in right now! Dude!
Keep in mind, that replay is an OFFER. Do not feel obligated to do anything with it. Your only obligation right now is to whatever feels right for you. And that’ll change many times every day. But I’m here if you need me. #JFDIwithBon
We’re all gonna get through this. WAY better than before. Breathe. Move your body. Do things that light you up in the micro, since that’s all we’ve got right now.
All my love,