Wow. 7 years.
I remember hoping I could make it to 7 hours sober. I was certain I’d fail before getting to 7 days. 7 weeks? Um… this was election 2016… no chance I’d stay sober facing this + the hubs in emergency surgery they weren’t sure he’d survive.
By the time a benchmark like 7 months was hanging out there, I knew, sobriety was (and is) my way of life. I’d done more than my share of power drinking in life. I built an empire on vodka and no sleep. And now I was finding out what loving myself more than needing to escape myself might feel like.
Every day, I learn more about how it feels to choose loving myself — exactly as I am — over escaping myself. Sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes it’s existential-crisis-inducing. Hence the Saturn image on this little celebration graphic.
Saturn has us do hard things. Saturn holds boundaries. Saturn says NO and means it. And every 7 years, we face a Saturn square. It’s a quarter-turn along the Saturn return we’ll be having down the line.
These are major turning points in life. The times when Daddy Saturn squares us by the shoulders, shakes us, and sternly asks, “Are you living the life you came here to live?”
More and more each moment of each day. Each beautifully sober — and sobering — moment of my life, I am closer to being exactly who I’m meant to be.
As with all Saturnian experiences, I am humbled and grateful to everything that has created and contained these 7 years sober. So so so very grateful to be alive.