One of the ways I know I’m healing is that I am less likely to speak in absolutes. I’m less likely to think in black or white. I’m less likely to perceive anything as binary, even though I have decades (and generations) of practice with that worldview.

The human brain LOVES binary. It’s a major way we sort a bajilliondy pieces of information every millisecond and THE primary binary the brain is designed to evaluate correctly is:


Since the brain’s job is to keep us alive as long as possible, being RIGHT about what might kill us is pretty dang important. So we have this gloriously well-practiced primal brain that’s constantly saying to us, “That might kill you. That might kill you. That might kill you.”

And its messaging gets MORE space than any messaging about what might be great, fun, expansive, amazing, next-level, life-changing, exciting for us… because as far as the amygdala is concerned, all of that stuff falls in the LIKELY TO MAKE ME DIE category.

(Read about my commitment to adding the words, “And I didn’t die!” to every scary thing I accomplished, a few years back, HERE. Ooh, and when I Googled to get that link for you, I also found this archive of a very cool creative entrepreneurship project I did with Tara McMullin in 2019 called “Candid Confidence.” Click here to consume some REALLY inspiring stories, including mine.)

So, if being more open to non-binary thinking is a sign I’m healing, I can also tell when I’m activated, triggered, or clinging to old/familiar coping mechanisms: I’m more likely to speak in absolutes, think in black or white, live in the binary.

When I catch myself — or my clients — using absolutes, I’ll quickly remind myself (or them) that we’re all mutable. We’re all in a state of constant change. We’re living in bodies where 98% of the atoms that make up these bodies get replaced every year.

98% of the atoms in the human body are replaced every year
Image from intospace0 on IG.

Essentially, every 16 days, 72% of what makes us real, physical beings… is totally replaced. EVERY 16 DAYS.


This thrills me!

ANY condition, any belief, any well-practiced worldview… can be completely replaced in a matter of days (and certainly within a year). I just have to notice it’s happening and lean into the changes I want rather than pushing against what I don’t want.

To woo it up: I’ve been leaning into my Pisces North Node in recent years. It is NOT a comfortable place to lean for this Cardinal-dominant gal. Mutable is just NOT a part of my chart with this one exception… and the North Node is something we struggle to get comfortable using over the course of our lives. That combo = GROWING PAINS.

And what does the amygdala think about change? Right. It thinks change is likely to lead to extinction so… don’t do that. 😉 Talk about upper-limit problem stuff, right?

(Here’s my piece on letting our Emmy win land in my cells. And here’s a good overview on how fear of success is actually fear of change.)

Lots of links today, I know.

mala all the pillows mala and new squirrel 12 weeks mala is a frog 11 weeks

I’ve been putting this whole thing together for days… I keep stopping to play with Mala… and I’m sooooooooo enjoying my 5th House profection year! Saturn rulership be damned! I’ve found a way to live in joy. (More soon. But not on social media for a while. I’m taking a break while Mars is in Gemini.)

art supplies from college

Okay… to sum up: Let’s embrace the Mutable. Let’s realize we all already ARE constantly changing, even if a part of the brain feels as though it’s life-or-death we’re risking with this expansion. And let’s make that feel safe enough to keep going. Keep growing. Allowing ourselves to evolve entirely in a matter of days if we’re ready.

It’s exciting in all the terrifying and electric ways.

Lemmeknow if you need my help. Comments are open just below!

Much love,

Bonnie Gillespie is living her dreams by helping others figure out how to live theirs. Wanna work with Bon? Start here. Thanks!

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  1. Deborah Madick August 24, 2022 at 8:48 am

    I am loving every bit of this and Mala is smile-making material. I did want to share one adjustment that I have been making and its a process -noted- but when I get a pang of anxiety, or the on set of whatever, I have stopped labeling it and have begun this sort of acceptance and awareness and just feel it. The more I sit with it and “talk” with it and not label it, it dissipates or morphs into something reasonable and less “omg your gonna die” but more of this energy, and this energy is available and it is letting me know it is available. It doesn’t have to be labelled and when it isn’t and it is allowed to just be. It becomes neither friend not foe but just is..thanks inclusive brain for not needing to go binary or label.

    1. Bonnie Gillespie August 24, 2022 at 10:25 am

      Ooh, yes. LOVE this, Deborah. Thank you. I remember taking a soundbath/breathwork class just before pandy and one of the instructions during the float time was to notice our breathing “without judgment and without comment.” I had such an a-ha moment, because for years, I’ve done the “without judgment” part, but at that moment I realized I was sneaking judgment IN by running commentary on my process.

      You know, in GIGFTNT, we do so much dispassionate labeling… but the act of labeling itself is such a construct of survival brain. A more creative brain just observes and lets it all be whatever it is. 🙂

      So glad you’re enjoying Mala and these meandering convos. You’re amazing. XO

  2. Francesca Decker March 26, 2023 at 6:36 am

    Been deep in another new baby/move/letting go of grief/prepping for a job back in medicine. Got your blog this morning and it felt so good to read some Bonnie. I spent awhile perusing your posts and found this one and your hot flash one. I feel my own creative juices starting to flow again. Also love your AI post so much. Sending so much warmth and love your way. Thank you for your energy and work. ❤️

    1. Bonnie Gillespie March 27, 2023 at 4:24 pm

      Love love love you, Francesca. So glad you’re hanging in there and plugging back in a bit. Stay grounded and give yourself space. This is a lot of shifting going on in your life (and in life in general). Sending you lots of love!


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