I was thinking about how I don’t send emails anymore (I did a weekly BonBlast from July 2011 to May 2021), how I am fully in the Saturn rule of my annual profection (and will be ’til July of 2023), and I can’t even remember what it was like to livestream EVERY WEEK (much less every DAY, which was my pace 2015-2017). 😳

I don’t even remember that reality feeling so normal. Mainly because I am actively courting my Pisces North Node. And I have been for months now. It’s been CHALLENGING.

🏆 I’ve been such a good soldier for the cis-het straight white able-bodied male standard for what SUCCESS looks like. Capitalism + patriarchy + dominant culture could count on me to be a part of the hustle. No sleep. Hard work. ✔️ Achieve ✔️ achieve ✔️ achieve.

Meanwhile a metamorphosis was happening. 🦋 A transformation would soon be revealed. And as I now live out this aligned life, this Mutable vibe, this very very very Pisces place… I am having moments of disconcerting — yet thrilling — reconciling of the life I’ve built with the life I was born to experience. To receive. To allow.

During a recent masterclass in Flow Theory, I asked the cis-het straight white able-bodied dudes running the talk what the non-cis-het, non-straight, non-white, non-able-bodied, non-dude version of the process might be. I was attacked in the comments by a (shocker) cis-het straight white able-bodied dude. Meanwhile, many others said, “Bonnie, maybe YOU get to write that version.”

🕯 Flow theory navigated from multiple starting points, not just from the MOST RESOURCED one. 🏦

Instead of holding my ground with the jackass, I held my groundedness. What a wonderful place to be.

Just now, I awoke from a nap (for which I had applied magic salve from Stargaze Fox Plant Astrology — thank you, Kirah) in which I so completely experienced my lucid dreams that I was out of sorts upon waking.

🔮 But with no fear. No worry. No concern that anything was wrong. I traveled and received data for my next creation. And there’s no rush for that! Chart Harmony is growing so organically. So beautifully. So EASEfully. 🌱

I am building a world and this is research. Pisces North Node in the 6th House research.

Jupiter — soon powered up with Neptune — is teaching me so much. And it’s BECAUSE I’m embracing Saturn as the lord of my year(s) that there’s not only ROOM for all this, there’s STRUCTURE for painting it all into the canvas, held steady. 🎨

It feels small to describe how expansive this life feels, using only words, right now. I know (drinking game alert) “My Coach Natalie” knows what I mean (she’s also a part of all this, as are Jennii and Aliza) — I am forever grateful for this alignment. ✨

This is just a check-in from the space between. We’re not THERE yet… and THERE is not the goal. 🦋

It feels so good to know that for sure. To know it in a way that feels so far beyond WHAT IS. 💫

This either makes perfect sense or NO sense and I love it either way. Thank you for being on this journey with me. It is resonant.

💗

Bonnie Gillespie is living her dreams by helping others figure out how to live theirs. Wanna work with Bon? Start here. Thanks!