Hello beautiful people of Expansive Capacity! Hello lovelies!
It’s time once again for Superpower Sunday! 🙂
This is all about how we can implement wee changes that may turbocharge our *existing* superpowers so that we don’t dim our own lights due to inertia, stress, or any other upper-limit problem that reveals itself along our path.
This month’s Superpower Sunday is something I call Bag of Rocks for short.
To clarify: I’m going to be talking about an ACTUAL bag of rocks and the shorthand that is this phrase in our lives when it comes to safety and enoughness in our relationship.
Storytime: When Keith moved his life in with mine in 2001, one of the things he unpacked and placed in a pile of stuff on the dresser in the bedroom was a bag of rocks. One of those plastic bags, factory sealed, with smooth rocks for floral arrangements or other such decorative things. I’m not sure I ever learned WHY he had this bag of rocks.
But after a few months with this bag of rocks — never moving from this spot, not opened up and placed into some sort of arrangement or whatnot, just THERE — I picked it up and offered to… toss it out. Declutter. Rehome. *Something.*
And I was not at all prepared for the emotional reaction Keith would have to this suggestion.
Let’s be clear: There was no sentimental value here. There was nothing that made any sort of sense about this. It’s not like these were special rocks with an attachment to an event or an ideal. There was no plan for these rocks. Yet they had traveled from Michigan to California and for YEARS, this bag of rocks remained. Doing nothing.
And just because something doesn’t have a “valid” purpose or “legitimate” reason for being the way it is doesn’t mean the emotional attachment to it — whatever it is — isn’t very real.
Over time — as Keith and I began unearthing issues in our lives as individuals and in our partnership — Keith began to release his attachment to this bag of rocks (and other things; as did I) and at some point, the bag of rocks was gone.
No big ceremony. No celebration. Just a tossing of the bag of rocks because whatever it was they were anchored to from his past no longer needed the physical representation of safety.
But there are still things like this. For both of us. And when either of us wants to shorthand the convo — no back and forth about why I need a door open all the way or closed all the way BUT NEVER AJAR OR I WILL DIE (12th house Virgo, thankyouverymuch), no explanation about why Keith’s pocket change has to go in a basket and cannot be touched — we simply say, “bag of rocks.”
Beyond our own relationship, we use this to explain away others’ odd behavior. When someone is a dog with a bone about something in issues of customer service or when a neighbor is crazy or when anything is just stuck in our craw without explanation, “bag of rocks” diffuses the situation.
It stops the SEEKING for REASON.
It allows what IS to just BE.
Because some things just ARE and it’s not ours to figure ’em all out.
We spend a lot of perfectly good time and brainspace trying to get under the hood about why people do the things they do or act the way the act and there’s just some stuff that is a bag of rocks. Giving those things that simple label frees up a ton of energy that could become a hamster on a wheel forEVER… and that energy is so much better spent on just about anything else.
In the name of choosing to be happy, what can you label a “bag of rocks” today?
Share with me in the dojo, wouldja?
Reminder: Your January Aligned Hustle Calendar is at the Welcome page if you haven’t already grabbed it. There are so many placements in Capricorn right now and that means rolling up our sleeves and putting in the work. Making headway like the leaders we were born to be. Let’s DO this!
As always, pop in at the dojo to share how Your Relationship with Happiness is evolving thanks to this month’s focus. I have amazing goodies in store for you as we explore Your Relationship with Daily Practices as January’s Expansive Capacity topic!
All my happy love,