Let’s break down my post-Pilates donut ritual in the Energetic Hygiene Triangle one more time.

Bottom of the triangle: NO post-Pilates donuts *today*! (That’s the goal for this level. I can only control where I am with this issue right now, not “forever” with this level of the triangle. That’s why we’re doing these bad boys all the time.)

Next level up: Pattern interruption! (Right now, there’s some reason I need/want this gorgeousness [TRIGGER WARNING] and that means replace a behavior. Walk home a different way.)

Up from there: Emotional healing. (What’s the actual need, here? For me, it’s that Pilates is also somatic experiencing work and it’s highly emotional to create strength in parts of my body I’ve numbed to feeling anything for decades. I deserve a reward. Sweetness. Comfort. Donuts really check all those boxes… especially when they’re warm. And *right* down the block from Pilates. *ahem* So, the work here is to provide myself some of that emotional goodness. That understanding. That compassion. That support for doing such hard, intimate work.)

One more step up: Start that new reward loop. (Journal. Cry. Nap. Get a massage. Do adult coloring books. Take a bubble bath. Keep walking. Buy flowers. All fair game.)

And finally, the top: Hone the superpower. (That craving for a donut is not a weakness in my otherwise #Whole30 lifestyle. “Caving in” is not what I’m doing when I allow the reward that day to be a donut. What I’m doing is providing myself a well-earned reward for hard, intimate work. And sometimes that reward will be shaped like a donut. The donut is not the enemy! The work here is to do the triangle so that we get clear on what the real need is, have other ways to meet that need, and see the craving as a superpower, as it’s an early-warning signal that self-care, compassion, healthy rewards for doing all this good work must be lacking. Because if they weren’t lacking, I could walk past Sidecar daily just like I walk past another handful of packed/popular establishments that sell things that don’t take the shape of the “This would feel good” reward I’m actually seeking.)


Again, we are being purposefully vague in the “rules” of the Energetic Hygiene Triangle because its specifics are going to change based on what issue you’re moving through each level at any given time. We will continue to do these each month and with practice, you’ll get more confident about what goes where and at what point you actually are tuning in your mind-body awareness without even thinking about it.

Remember: Everything we feel is trying to teach us something about who we’re trying to become.

Who we’re meant to become.

That next-tier version of ourselves with all the storytelling gifts laid out for the world to experience so freakin’ fully! Enjoying all the health and wellness and love and riches and happiness that goes with living a life ready to receive it all! Yaaaaasssssssss!

I’ll be back atcha with your Superpower Sunday in just over a week. 😉 ’til then, see you beauties in the dojo!

Keep doing good work!


bonnie gillespie

Bonnie Gillespie is living her dreams by helping others figure out how to live theirs. Wanna work with Bon? Start here. Thanks!

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