Hey. I’ve been checking in daily with a group of folks who agreed to join me in a June Enoughness Commitment (you can start getting these text messages here; or just text #enoughness to me at +1.310.388.9852) and I’m loving what everyone is sharing about how enoughness is, sure enough:

~ variable (it’s gonna fluctuate all throughout the day)
~ something we manage (we can’t just “set it and forget it”)
~ an inside job (our inner work makes the difference)

Something we’re coming up on now that we’re about halfway through the month is the way self-care can easily become another SHOULD in our lives.

And I don’t know about you, but I feel like I retired from SHOULDs when I became a grown-ass woman who could choose WHATEVER she wanted to choose in life (and live the consequences, of course), vs. having a bedtime and a set of chores and “appropriate outfits” or whatever else was a part of being a kid.

Still, as adults, we’ll often get into relationships with shoulds — especially ones we’ve created for ourselves — and then use them as weapons against ourselves!

I notice self-care can get like that.

So, here’s what I’m saying (in far shorter form via those text messages, of course) to those folks doing daily show-up-for-myself commitments all month with me:

There’s always the BIG WHY. That thing I want to get out of whatever it is that I’m doing (more groundedness if I’ve chosen meditation, better fitness if I’ve chosen a workout, deeper sleep if I’ve chosen no screens before bedtime, whatever) is the BIG WHY.

And then there’s the LITTLE DOING. That thing I’ve committed to doing — in this case, for me, it’s daily Wii Fit and Abraham-Hicks the whole month of June — for others it’s meditation, a set bedtime, time off from technology, drinking a certain amount of water, no negative self-talk, going for walks every day, etc.

That LITTLE DOING serves the BIG WHY.

But when the LITTLE DOING becomes a SHOULD, suddenly I resent it and I don’t want to do it and I get all bratty-Bon about it and… well what do you know? My monkey-mind has come up with a very clever way of getting me to sabotage the BIG WHY.

And we do this a LOT in our lives (and not just around little self-care commitments; we do it in our relationships, our careers, our health… and on and on).

So before tapping out on something that’s starting to feel like a SHOULD, ask yourself how the LITTLE DOING serves the BIG WHY.

And then ask yourself if you can go ahead and — just once more, right now — do that LITTLE DOING. Y’know… because it’s little (not because you SHOULD do it; that’s the quickest way to rebel against it).

This is how we turn things around with our BIG WHY stuff… the big things we really want: We show up for the LITTLE DOINGS of it all. Consistently. Unglamorously. Repeatedly. And hopefully with a little boost of enoughness as a lovely side-effect for all that showing up for ourselves.

And if self-care is feeling like a SHOULD, ask yourself what would feel like love in that moment. And then do that. Because self-care is in service of self-love… so do the loving thing. That’s going to feel different from time to time. And that’s okay. πŸ™‚

Chat with me below about how you’re doing with your self-care, your enoughness, and any other commitment you’d like audience for keeping. πŸ™‚

You’ve got this!


Bonnie Gillespie is living her dreams by helping others figure out how to live theirs. Wanna work with Bon? Start here. Thanks!

(Visited 93 times, 1 visits today)

2 Comments

  1. Jaye Restivo June 14, 2021 at 12:44 pm

    So brilliant about the enoughness texts! Thank yoy!

    My heart is expanding w the work I’m doing in that area!

    xoxoxo
    GMJ

    Reply
  2. Donna. June 14, 2021 at 5:06 pm

    #enoughness is definitely something I need to work on daily, but it’s not just work. It’s something you need to hear from your top 5, or any other loyal supporter, article, hashtag, or anything that helps you to feel empowered. I hard such a hard time with, until we had a GIGFTNT zoom meeting earlier this year….which made me realize the greatness that is enough…but then it wanes and you have to reconnect with others, and keep working on it. Definitely a muscle to be trained, like everything else at the gym!

    Reply

Leave A Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.