Today was hard. Not all of it, but parts of it. Tensions with the hubs as we talk through tech upgrades. Miscommunication with the extended team. Vendors showing up with too little too late.
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And among it all, this overwhelming sense of pressure to get. this. right.
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Over dinner, the hubs said — after a loooong walk to clear his head and lower his temper — “See, I don’t see the big risk in all of this.”
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And I said, “I think — in all the big talk about going up to sit with Oprah between the oak trees — I’m not that ready, after all. I mean, look at me! I still cry over a bad review of my book!” 😬
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“They’re gonna say we’re being irresponsible; we’re doing pseudoscience and pop psychology and cult shit. ☠️ I’m not ready for the things they’re going to say.”
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The phenomenal Erin Zapcic keeps reminding me we’re starting where we’re strong and building from there, just like we teach. 💪🏽💥 That this is growth. That it’s all exactly what we’ve been building toward for years. That this is what the world needs.
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And I know in my heart that’s true. But, damn if it’s not challenging to get the heart and the head on the same team sometimes.
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As I finished up the dinner my beloved hubs sweetly plated up for me — hungrier than I knew I was — I looked up to the photo we have over my seat at the table.
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It’s Charlsie. My sweet mother. The suddenly single mother who in the 1970s built a new age business as an astrologer… who would become known around the world.
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I remember when she had these photos taken. The first time she’d opened her office to the public to this extent. Her books and charts spread out. At work. Changing lives. Okay being seen.
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A decade later, she’d be invited to be a part of Oprah’s “Remembering Your Spirit” segment. She passed due to low enoughness. 💗
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My life’s work is to be sure no one ever shies away from their fullest selves due to the doubts and fears that can keep us all playing small.
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The irony is not lost on me that I’m facing those same doubts and fears at every step of my own ascension.
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Momma, I’m doing this. I really, really am. More correctly, WE are. This is the work. 🧘🏽‍♀️🌱🦋

Bonnie Gillespie is living her dreams by helping others figure out how to live theirs. Wanna work with Bon? Start here. Thanks!