Of course, ALWAYS CHECK WITH YOUR DOCTOR BEFORE TRYING ANYTHING, EVER. I have to say this first and foremost because OMG, I am not a doctor! You are not my patient! Even if you’re my CLIENT, I don’t talk to you about your medical needs. That’s way outside my realm and this is just me sharing MY experience in case you landed here Googling at 3ayem stuff like, “Why does the patriarchy want to hide info about how to stop having ungodly hot flashes and night sweats during perimenopause” like I have done many times. πŸ˜‰

This is what has worked for me, never always (I’ll explain) and absolutely NOT ALL AT ONCE. I’m going to share the medicinal stuff, the bodywork stuff, and then of course the Chart Harmony stuff. (More on Chart Harmony here.)

By “never always,” I mean that there’s NO ONE THING (or combo of things) that has worked ALWAYS.

Pretty much, everything I try will work well for a while, then less well, and eventually not at all. The NOVELTY is what tends to get my brain to stop signaling the body to toss off these heatwaves sometimes as often as every 10 minutes, day and night. So, I am always looking for what the next thing is that I’ll try, should whatever I’m currently doing stop working at some point.


~ maca root powder
~ Zhi Bai Di Huang Pian
~ lion’s mane
~ Women’s Wellness tincture from MaryRuth’s Organics
~ black cohosh
~ wild yam
~ dong quai
~ SAM-e
~ microdosing kratom

~ acupuncture
~ float tank
~ massage therapy
~ chiropractic
~ cranial-sacral therapy
~ Reiki
~ icepacks (OMG, Nordic Ice is a godsend! I sleep with one under my pillow and yank it down onto my neck right as the overnight hot flashes begin and drift right back to sleep)
~ cold showers
~ cold baths
~ getting up and MOVING the second I feel a hot flash coming on

~ turning down/expressing OUT my super-hot Mars (it is the malefic contrary to sect, right at the top of my chart, so it needs this workout anyway, but ESPECIALLY when we’re in Cardinal Mars transits)
~ boosting my Chart Ruler (and ruler of much of the female hormonal experience) Venus
~ balancing Uranus and Mercury in very specific ways to support my nervous system and communication waves that are going haywire during this time of transition
~ creating connection with Scorpio, which rules the reproductive system (and everything that leaves our body)
~ improving my medical astrology know-how from Kira Sutherland
~ reading Body Astrology by Claire Gallagher (and working with her, 1:1 and in small groups)
~ using mugwort
~ slathering on wormwood salve from StarGazeFox
~ doing Plants & Planets consulting with Maeg Keane (3rd Sister)
~ using water of Asclepius (also the oil and the kolonΓ­a) from Sphere+Sundry
~ taking Son of Apollo tincture from Sphere+Sundry
~ interacting with Regulus tincture and incense from Sphere+Sundry
~ entering into dialogue with all the parts of my chart that are out of balance or in need of convos to help my brain know it needn’t send out such dramatic signals that there’s a PROBLEM just because hormone levels are fluctuating

I actually did a whole big exploration about the timing of my hot flashes when they were at peak frequency and intensity. Turns out they were starting up at the change of planetary hours. Yes, really. Within 0 to 20 minutes of exact (with MOST of the time being within 2-11 minutes), BOOM. A new hot flash. So, yes, every 55 minutes at some points in the day. AND, once I finished tracking that for not quite two days (the pattern was so clear, so fast), the hot flashes backed off to once or twice a day. As if just NOTICING I’m *that* attuned with planetary hours was enough to get my system to back off with the physical alarm about it.


Ideally, you’ll use any of the above links to Amazon to comparison shop, read reviews… and then go support a local shop, particularly businesses run by someone from the BIPOC, LGBTQAI+, and other folks outside the dominant-advantaged-capitalistic-heteronormative-ableist-already-a-billionaire-cis-het-straight-white-male types. But if — due to the need for speed or access or price constraints — you do end up purchasing through any of these links, a few pennies come out of Amazon’s pockets and slide into ours… so thanks for supporting this female-run business in that small way! πŸ™‚

Let me add to all of this what feels like one of the MOST important things: MINDSET. I don’t scream with every wave of hormonal body takeover (maybe only once or twice a day, I’ll scream, out of dozens upon dozens of opportunities to rage out). πŸ˜‰ I spend a lot of time focusing on the moments when I’m so comfortable… NOT overheating, NOT having wild mood swings, NOT flipping words or flat-out forgetting what simple objects are CALLED.

I don’t spend a lot of time cursing the world and spitting fire over the ridiculous intensity of perimenopausal symptoms and cruelty that is the lack of HELP we have access to as we navigate this all out there on our own (I mean, there’s no “B-School for Menopause” — though I’ve threatened to build such a thing now and then). Instead, I tell my body and my brain how very grateful I am to their teamwork and their adaptability to changing circumstances that aren’t clearly mapped out. I love on myself (because I know FOR SURE we do not benefit from hating on ourselves, folks).

I’ve even started gamifying this whole “change of life” thing… like, how many words can I flip during this Zoom? How wrong can I get with this name? 🀣 I’ll notice it (or someone else will, and they’ll comment on it), and I’ll say, “Ooh! Having a world-class word-flip day today! Watch out! This is getting good!”

I find that sense of whimsy keeps me from piling on in ways that only frustrate me. I know I’m one of the most intelligent people most folks have ever met. I know my vocabulary is vast. And I know clear communication is one of my superpowers. Flipping words or forgetting what something like a COMB is called doesn’t challenge my enoughness. I don’t become less valuable as a human being because I start dripping sweat during a meeting. The extra layer of tummy-padding my always-hourglass figure now carries is not a reason to be cruel to myself, ever. I don’t get embarrassed by the process of living through menopause. I laugh it all off and NORMALIZE that this is just a thing we all go through. And there should never be any shame around any part of it.

That ease + humor + enoughness seems to really help!

If all of this seems like a lot, note that I look at it this way: In 2018 when I went on bedrest, I said, “Healing is my full-time job.” If we think about how many years we went on auto-pilot and just expected everything to work, it makes sense that we’re needing to balance the scales a bit after periods of neglect. At least that’s been true for me. AND, it does NOT take the same amount of time to *heal* that it took to become or be unwell. Ever. Praises be!

We’re jamming about this over at the Chart Harmony Discord server πŸ‘Ύ if you’d like to join us there. Or post any questions in the comments below. I’ll do my best to elaborate as needed.

Again, everything you’ll land on when you’re starting “the change” will be about how women are so very complicated and how every one of us is different and how it’s not all that bad and it’ll be over soon. FUCK THAT. If I were a cis-het straight white able-bodied man with a boner problem, there’d be 1234567890 cures and solutions and options and so much more.

But of course it benefits the toxic dominant system to keep those of us who are really coming into our power at this stage of life FEELING LIKE SHIT, being exhausted, busting out into sweats after having been chilly just moments before, raging out through mood swings, and just being unstable in general.

Believe me… I’ve found a LOT of good places for all my rage about this. πŸ˜‰ Hope you do too. And do add whatever’s working for you in the comments below! Just remember, CONSULT YOUR DOCTOR before you do anything like putting something on or in your body just because some yahoo on the internet said it worked for them. πŸ˜‰

Much love,

Bonnie Gillespie is living her dreams by helping others figure out how to live theirs. Wanna work with Bon? Start here. Thanks!

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