If you’re following my stories over at Instagram, you know that the hubs and I are at a friend’s place on Point Dume, slumming it in “the Iron Man house” out here on the tip of Malibu for a little while.
Yeah. Life’s rough in the ‘bu.
Welp, since we’re hanging out here with a big ol’ husky, a gorgeous Maine coon, and a wee lizard, there were — as you might imagine — care and feeding instructions.
Eleven. Pages. Of. Them.
Now, before you assume I’m passing judgment on the guy who feels the need to share — in meticulous detail — how to scoop 1/3 c. of dry food from the big bag using a specific coffee mug and exactly how long the food is to remain down before it all gets cleared for the day, let me state for the record that this totally used to be me.
If you did so much as water a plant for me, I had notes. Lots and lots of notes. About exactly how it should be done. No, how it MUST be done.
Or else there would be chaos and certainly I would die.
I mean, you’d think so, anyway. 😉
So when I share about this 11-page instruction manual about everything from how to feed the critters to the number of inches away from each other they need to be at all times, it’s from a place of “I’ve been there.”
This document represents the anxiety our friend carries around at all times. About way more than just how his animals are cared for.
I had to write up a similar doc recently. See, we’ve hired “my boss” over here at our growing empire. Her job is to take a look at every single one of our systems in this business and make everything more efficient, less duct-tape-and-WD40 and more systematized-and-replicatable. She’s specifically firing me from looking under the hood at too many things.
Things I know way too much about that are outside my Zone of Genius.
But when you start your business from scratch, *of course* you know everything, from every angle. Because you built the whole damn thing.
Thing is, as your business grows, your “entrepreneurial hustle” stops being the most useful skillset you posses. In fact, it can get in the way of your ability to become your business’s CEO.
So back to the doc I had to write up for my new boss recently. It detailed in meticulous — painful — minutia every step involved in helping someone access a download they purchased from our online store after they’d expired the link by loading it too many times.
Three. Pages.
I shit you not. Three pages of detail.
And I realized as I read Jeff’s 11 pages of detail that every word represents a wave of anxiety that’s active in the ol’ brainspace when we DON’T get that anxiety out.
So, as excessive as it may seem, those written words — or those spoken words if you’re more a talker than a writer — become a way to diffuse anxiety. We actually settle down a bit when we let all that’s swirling around inside us take shape outside us for a while.
Now, the important work of this is to not need anyone to follow every single word of an instruction manual like this. It’s to behave as if all we’ve done is journal. Or offload the stress in a heart-to-heart convo with a bestie.
’cause here’s the point: It’s not about what happens after we settle that anxiety down upon putting it in writing. Heck, for most of us, there’s a whole new load of anxiety that kicks UP once we hand over the keys to anything in our lives to someone else! But that’s another topic for another BonBlast. 😉
The point is that when we see all of this sort of stuff in writing, our work is to appreciate exactly how much SPACE all of that anxiety takes up inside of us. To respect that holding all of that in is to hold a live grenade.
What can you take from inside your brain, put on paper, and — even to a tiny degree — let go of?
Comments are open below. I’d love to see how you get started with this!
PS — Hope you’ll join me for my next livestream on any mixed messages you may be putting out there about the level of success you actually want. If you’ve ever felt as though you’re NOT getting exactly what you *think* you desire, this chat may help bring into focus what it is you’re putting out there that blocks the manifestation of your dreams. [REPLAY BELOW!]
Much love from a crazy glorious place on Earth,
Bonnie Gillespie is living her dreams by helping others figure out how to live theirs. Wanna work with Bon? Start here. Thanks!
REPLAY: Are You Sabotaging Your Own Success? Bonnie Gillespie Can Help!
About anxiety….I really need to get back to morning pages. It truly makes room for writing my creative pieces. Kinda like How To Empty Your Brain So the Good Stiff Can Get Out!!!
Yessssss! Oh, those morning pages are spectacular at offloading some of the less creative stuff. Right on, Jaye! 😘❤️
I could let go of wondering about things I don’t understand that aren’t REALLY important. I know I’m the one who did the download error because I was soooooo trying to understand/unpack something somebody on your team had mentioned a long time ago and I thought this was where they had said it. What I didn’t know was the ramification that would happen as a result, essentially, of my anxiety.
Lesson learned: if it hasn’t really affected you since you heard it, then no reason to let it affect you now.
Hey Sean! Not to worry at all.
Mostly the team was confused why you were having trouble, especially since that call recording remains available to you at your All-Access membership space. 🙂
Happy listening!
I totally forgot that! 🤪
So probably simply journaling—I often find talking things out, even on paper, helps me find the answer that is within me. Or at least takes the edge off.
My life. For sure. BUT! This gave me a great idea for turning one of my many page documents into an E-book for study strategies! Passive income here I come! But I’ve absolutely found that when I’m having a mega anxiety session that writing down the issues and then writing down reasonable ways to deal with those situations helps in a BIG way to calm down the worry worm. Thanks Bon(:
YES! You *rawk* that passive income, girl! <3
Um TOTALLY having a “This is me” moment re: your 11 page list. #lifegoal for me and the artistic people I manage is to do WAY less of that, and more creative input presenting new ideas, and new Promo campaigns. Also, I see how this change will help in my writing when collaborating with others and allowing myself to allow them to do their best work.
Thanks.
Love it!
Hi Bonnie,
This is Paula Lee Micallef and as you know I worked with Lawrence Parke for three years.
I had always acted from the gut… In other words did very well not thinking about the role but performing and loving it.
At any rate when I started working with Larry the anxiety of working with this fabulous coach made me stiff and completely awful!! I hav a perfectionist side and had to over come it. Larry did not give me slack at all and after several months of him saying, “Paula quit posing!” I succumb to reality. Larry brought me to a place that spoke to me. Let it go and all good things follow.
Loved the blog and hope to see you soon… Your class helped me tremendously and I have been happy acting my heart out.
Love Ya!
Love this! So glad you’ve been able to let go of your anxiety and reconnect to your love of the craft! ❤❤❤