As I write this, we are driving back from “my other office,” an oasis in the desert just north of Palm Springs that’s been a getaway for almost 12 years. We’ve concluded our 6th (and possibly final) SMFA Escape with our elite alumni and the Hacienda has changed ownership (while we were there) and will never be the same. They started the whole rebrand during our stay and a part of our saying goodbye today included closing off a dream that started in 2007 when we fantasized about a time when we might be able to buy the place.

Yesterday, April 1st, I did my annual ritual since 2012: Profit Clarity. I love this look into our business’ finances even though the very first time I took pen to paper (a Pilot Varsity to yellow legal pad to be exact) I was nervous about what I’d learn. Thing is, examining our money (or fears of any kind, really) is a bit like shining a light at the monster under the bed. It’s just a dust bunny once we have a good flashlight in hand. It does FAR more damage in the dark.

So, 2018 took me on a deep mind-body healing journey that included a full 3.5 months on bedrest which meant I knew we were going to be looking at a decrease in revenue for this year’s Profit Clarity. That was expected. Here’s what was really fucking cool, though: In a year during which I had to stay completely OUT of my business for a big chunk of time — a year during which we offered fewer events, I did less touring, I said no to more speaking engagements than usual — we came in ~$4400 down for the year.

But wait, there’s more: Our passive income went from 48% last year to 58% this year. And when I first started doing Passive Clarity, we were looking at about 13% passive income… and a half the annual revenue we currently hit overall.

Not. Too. Shabby.

If you want to see the nitty-gritty, head over to my Instagram stories (I save “Fortuna” as a story highlight there specifically to share this kind of data). As I said there, I share this kind of goodness because I believe we need more places in the world where SUCCESS is the conversation. There’s nothing magical about how we built this empire! I simply got *intentional* about decisions that I used to defer to others about.

I started checking in with my gut more… and then TRUSTING it rather than outsourcing its wisdom.

See, whether it’s in show business, the health and wellness space I’m now entering, or just life in general for all of us, there’s a LOT of outsourcing going on when it comes to knowing — and trusting — your gut.

We’ll awesomely get a “ping” about what we KNOW we should do in any situation, but then we’re so quick to sell out that knowing in exchange for anything else we see anyone else doing.

Why do we do this?

I mean, ultimately, most of the people whose advice we lean into aren’t living a hashtag-goals life when it comes down to it anyway. They may have some element of *something* figured out and that’s why leaning into the data about how they’ve done THAT THING is not a bad idea. But I think we do a lot of undervaluing our own brilliance in ways that eventually create a gap between who we are and who we want to be. A gap we created.

Because we already WERE getting so much right and then we stopped trusting ourselves.

One of the things I asked the beautiful souls gathered ’round the community table at the Hacienda this weekend was, “What did you wake up knowing?” This daily ritual came after our intention-setting first night in which I encouraged everyone to go to bed inviting in some deep inner wisdom. Fall asleep being OPEN to what your soul might be trying to teach you already.

Now, before you scurry off with a goal of trying this out for yourself tonight (which I certainly hope you’ll do, and then come over here, scroll down, and share about it), there’s an important step that comes first.

You’ve kind of gotta like yourself enough to look forward to what your inner messages might be.

Because if you’re really practiced at not listening to yourself, not trusting yourself, not believing in yourself, not even liking yourself, there’s gonna be too big a gap between what you wake up knowing you need to do next and what your waking self will let you try out that day.

So, baby steps: Start by journaling a little bit about what you’re looking forward to getting to know about yourself, about your desires, about your fears. Let yourself trust that there’s VALUE deep within and invite it to start bubbling up more often without so quickly getting smacked down with a bunch of “I *can’t* possibly do THAT” type messages you may have on auto-play.

We’ll get into what to do after that in a future BonBlast. 😉

I hope you’re excited to try this out. Share with me in the comments below or tag me at Instagram so I can celebrate what you woke up knowing and how it feels to stop outsourcing some of your next steps.

And if Profit Clarity sounds like a little slice of heaven, here’s your reminder that we go deep on this during Day 28 of the life-changing 100-day journey called Get in Gear for the Next Tier (plus fortify all this money goodness with a passive income masterclass in The SMFA Vault) and you can get going on all of this today by joining us here! Can’t wait to jam with you in the dojo!

PS: Be sure to check out Tara McMullin’s brilliant WHAT WORKS podcast! Yes, I’m the guest for ep. 196 and it’s a fabulous run through the evolution of the Self-Management for Actors empire filled with nuggets of badassery for every small business owner in the creative arts. This month’s theme is all about the seeds we plant as entrepreneurs — specifically in the content creation realm — and I’m honored to help Tara tell some stories in this area. Hope you’ll plant some fun seeds today!

Much love from the 10 (don’t worry, Keith’s doing the driving)! 😉

Bonnie Gillespie autographed the internet

Bonnie Gillespie is living her dreams by helping others figure out how to live theirs. Wanna work with Bon? Start here. Thanks!

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