Whiteboards: Before and After

Click for Instagram version.

These may not look that different, but they represent a significant shift in focus, which makes a big difference in how my work gets done, how I show up in the world, and ultimately how the empire continues to grow… now with energetic boundaries galore!

This past November-December is the first time since 2013 (hello, 8-year Venus cycles) we did not run a massive launch into our online membership. It’s the first time in nearly a decade I wasn’t working EVERY day (including Christmas, the anniversary of Charlsie’s death) all through the holiday season. Of course, that was by design, so I could NOT FEEL so much pain my life was filled with.

What can I say? Avoidant attachment style + a lifetime of reinforcement that hyper-productivity is rewarded and praised = easy to overwork myself into a year-end that would allow me not to feel.

And then I got sober in 2016. And then I went on bedrest for a chunk of 2018. And as I came out of the dark night of my soul in 2021 (thanks, Chiron return), it became clear that my being a good soldier to the capitalist cis-het straight white male ableist patriarchy wasn’t working for me.

In May of 2021, I declared NO YEAR-END LAUNCH.

My team assured me I was just licking my wounds from a brutal 7 weeks with only 5 days being off-camera and a disappointing project. Sure. But I also knew: I’m done. DONE with the way it’s always been done. Done with how success is measured. Done with using the Self-Management for Actors tools to help a white male actor complaining that he’s not getting as many auditions anymore.